Like I said in my previous post, I have a new job. It started last Monday, two days ago. As with any new job, they have to do a period of orientation first. For me, this orientation meant sitting in a chair for 8 hours listening to speaker after speaker talk about things like environment of care, infectious disease, and other hospital type of stuff. Pretty boring.
I was curious to see how my PVPS would respond to the continuous sitting. To my surprise, I was feeling any aches or sharp pains Monday or Tuesday. This is quite a big deal for me, because there was no way on Earth I could have sat for 8 hours at a time, in uncomfortable chairs without feeling the pain after about 20 minutes or so.
However, while I was sleeping last night, I was awakened suddenly. I was having a dream where I was experiencing tremendous pain in my left inguinal area. It took me a little while before it woke me up. Then I realized the pain wasn't just in my dream, it was real. I was experiencing real pain and it wasn't good. It began to fade away after 5 minutes, or perhaps I started to fade back to sleep, I'm not really sure which happened. But the pain kinda stunk. I always wondered that if I dreamed about pain, did that mean I was having it for real, outside the dream. Well, in this case the answer was yes.
I can't say that I'm bummed by the pain, although maybe just a bit. In contrast, I'm excited that I was able to sit for so long without having pain during the actual sitting. Today, I go back to work for a few hours, but I'll be on my feet for most of it (I hope anyway). Then tomorrow and Friday I actually do my departmental orientation, where I'll be up and at it.
Showing posts with label sleeping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleeping. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Friday, October 26, 2012
Sleeping a Bit Better
Well, I guess you could say I'm sleeping better. I still wake up, but not because of pain or having to go potty - to quote my son when he was 3 years old. Now I'm just waking up and going back to sleep. I've made a point not to eat or drink anything after 8:30 pm. Maybe that is helping.
Regarding the inguinal pain, I didn't have any yesterday or last night. I am really hoping that activity will take care of all those little aches and pains - over the long term, that is. In the meantime, I'm just trying to be careful about how I cross my legs, sit, bend over, etc.
Sadly, it's those everyday "little things" that can cause the most pain. Cross your legs without carefully surveying the room in your drawers first and "ouch!" you can really hurt yourself. Same way with bending over, at least for me.
Other guys with PVPS probably don't have the pains manifest in the same way. For me it always seems to come down to a space issue. If I have room, then no worries. If it gets kind of cramped, then watch out.
Sitting continues to be a source of frustration for me as well. Even though I have this great cushion, which helps TREMENDOUSLY, I still get pains here and there from just sitting. They aren't nearly as bad as they used to be before the cushion. They're more annoying, than anything else.
So I guess you can add the adjective "annoying" to the endless list of ways to describe how PVPS affects your life.
Regarding the inguinal pain, I didn't have any yesterday or last night. I am really hoping that activity will take care of all those little aches and pains - over the long term, that is. In the meantime, I'm just trying to be careful about how I cross my legs, sit, bend over, etc.
Sadly, it's those everyday "little things" that can cause the most pain. Cross your legs without carefully surveying the room in your drawers first and "ouch!" you can really hurt yourself. Same way with bending over, at least for me.
Other guys with PVPS probably don't have the pains manifest in the same way. For me it always seems to come down to a space issue. If I have room, then no worries. If it gets kind of cramped, then watch out.
Sitting continues to be a source of frustration for me as well. Even though I have this great cushion, which helps TREMENDOUSLY, I still get pains here and there from just sitting. They aren't nearly as bad as they used to be before the cushion. They're more annoying, than anything else.
So I guess you can add the adjective "annoying" to the endless list of ways to describe how PVPS affects your life.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Inguinal Pain and Sleep
Not sure why I'm having all these pains again, after a period of relative quietness. Maybe the stress of moving across country is catching up to me, maybe the cold weather is starting to have an effect, maybe...blah, blah, blah. This is just how it goes with PVPS I suppose. No rhyme or reason, just pain when you least expect it, or not, it just seems to have a mind of its own.
Last night I had no pinching or burning pain, but I did have a persistent inguinal pain when I laid down to go to sleep. It was almost pulsating-like. I turned to my back again and the pain disappeared. I must have fallen asleep on my back because I don't recall the pain afterwards.
I did wake up a lot last night, but didn't use the bathroom like the night before, when I went 3 times. I think I remember having a difficult time with my sleeping a couple times before, so perhaps that is a component of PVPS as well.
On a different note, my hairline is receding. I noticed I was losing hair over the summer, but wasn't sure from where. Well now I know - my hairline. I've also had a lot of left chest pain (aka: pain around my nip). So I think my hormones are a bit messed up, which may be contributing to my poor sleep.
I'm going to join a gym today and see if some regular exercise doesn't help things out. I'll keep you posted.
Last night I had no pinching or burning pain, but I did have a persistent inguinal pain when I laid down to go to sleep. It was almost pulsating-like. I turned to my back again and the pain disappeared. I must have fallen asleep on my back because I don't recall the pain afterwards.
I did wake up a lot last night, but didn't use the bathroom like the night before, when I went 3 times. I think I remember having a difficult time with my sleeping a couple times before, so perhaps that is a component of PVPS as well.
On a different note, my hairline is receding. I noticed I was losing hair over the summer, but wasn't sure from where. Well now I know - my hairline. I've also had a lot of left chest pain (aka: pain around my nip). So I think my hormones are a bit messed up, which may be contributing to my poor sleep.
I'm going to join a gym today and see if some regular exercise doesn't help things out. I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sharp Pinching Sensation and a Prayer
Today I was laying in bed on my left side, with my typical pillow between my knees. This is how I sleep most of the time, or on my back. Anyway, I've been straitening out my left leg (the one under the pillow) for a while now. So basically, my right leg (on top of the pillow) is the only one in the fetal position. It's a nice change of pace and hasn't been painful in any way at all...until this morning that is.
I'm not sure what the deal was. Interestingly, it all started when I had to get up 3 times to pee last night. And by pee, I don't mean dribble, dribble. Nope, I had to go. So it wasn't like a prostate thing, like you see on the TV commercials. Rather, it was as if someone had slipped me a diuretic before bedtime; I had to go and go badly.
Finally, around 6:15 am, I woke up and turned to my side to sleep as I described above, left leg straight, right leg in the fetal position. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had this pinching, almost burning pain in my right testicle, on the back side. This is where your epididymous is located. I felt down there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I hadn't smashed my testicle or anything like that. There was plenty of room for maneuvering down there. So I straightened out my right leg and the pain disappeared.
I reconnoitered and brought my right leg up again, and sure enough, the pinching pain returned. I repeated this about 5 times, with the same result. With every fetal curl, my right testicle would feel like someone was burying a needle into it, about an inch deep. I tried to just toughen it out, but eventually had to relent, too much pain.
I rolled back over to my back and laid there. No snoozing for me this morning. I stayed awake the remainder of the morning until I got up. I noticed I was a little sore down there during breakfast, so I took 1 Tylenol, just in case it wouldn't go away.
It's pain like that which causes my anxiety level to increase. Random pains down there which seem positional in nature, make me think that anatomically, something is not quite right post vasectomy reversal. I really wish I had a video tape of my reversal.
But more likely, there is probably just some scar tissue down there that is rubbing against something or pinching something it shouldn't. When I think about this, I start to get fanciful ideas about having another surgery to "clean up" the area, kind of like when an athlete gets their knee cleaned out. But I don't dare have another surgery down there, if I can help it.
This is the roller coaster thinking you do when you have PVPS. Your mind play out numerous scenarios back and forth with a slew of "would of", "could of", and "should of" 's. Very tiring thinking and frustrating.
I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa. She talks about trusting in God for all things and then expecting him to come through in the clutch. I think that's where I struggle, the "expecting him to come through" part. But I think this is part of the master's plan for my spiritual growth. Or rather, not part of his initial plan, but since it's happened, he'll use it to that end.
So I guess it's back to just trusting God through all of this. Not letting myself get on that emotional roller coaster.
"Lord, please help me to trust in you. To expect that you'll help me. To absolutely count on it. You've done it before, with my marriage, my family, my career, etc. So why should I expect anything to change. You are the creator of the universe and you can do all things. Help me to trust you and to give it all to you. Not leaning on my own strength and understanding, but yours and yours alone. Speak to me with that still, small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. Lead me through this and whatever else you know lies in my path. May you receive the glory and honor forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen."
I'm not sure what the deal was. Interestingly, it all started when I had to get up 3 times to pee last night. And by pee, I don't mean dribble, dribble. Nope, I had to go. So it wasn't like a prostate thing, like you see on the TV commercials. Rather, it was as if someone had slipped me a diuretic before bedtime; I had to go and go badly.
Finally, around 6:15 am, I woke up and turned to my side to sleep as I described above, left leg straight, right leg in the fetal position. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had this pinching, almost burning pain in my right testicle, on the back side. This is where your epididymous is located. I felt down there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I hadn't smashed my testicle or anything like that. There was plenty of room for maneuvering down there. So I straightened out my right leg and the pain disappeared.
I reconnoitered and brought my right leg up again, and sure enough, the pinching pain returned. I repeated this about 5 times, with the same result. With every fetal curl, my right testicle would feel like someone was burying a needle into it, about an inch deep. I tried to just toughen it out, but eventually had to relent, too much pain.
I rolled back over to my back and laid there. No snoozing for me this morning. I stayed awake the remainder of the morning until I got up. I noticed I was a little sore down there during breakfast, so I took 1 Tylenol, just in case it wouldn't go away.
It's pain like that which causes my anxiety level to increase. Random pains down there which seem positional in nature, make me think that anatomically, something is not quite right post vasectomy reversal. I really wish I had a video tape of my reversal.
But more likely, there is probably just some scar tissue down there that is rubbing against something or pinching something it shouldn't. When I think about this, I start to get fanciful ideas about having another surgery to "clean up" the area, kind of like when an athlete gets their knee cleaned out. But I don't dare have another surgery down there, if I can help it.
This is the roller coaster thinking you do when you have PVPS. Your mind play out numerous scenarios back and forth with a slew of "would of", "could of", and "should of" 's. Very tiring thinking and frustrating.
I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa. She talks about trusting in God for all things and then expecting him to come through in the clutch. I think that's where I struggle, the "expecting him to come through" part. But I think this is part of the master's plan for my spiritual growth. Or rather, not part of his initial plan, but since it's happened, he'll use it to that end.
So I guess it's back to just trusting God through all of this. Not letting myself get on that emotional roller coaster.
"Lord, please help me to trust in you. To expect that you'll help me. To absolutely count on it. You've done it before, with my marriage, my family, my career, etc. So why should I expect anything to change. You are the creator of the universe and you can do all things. Help me to trust you and to give it all to you. Not leaning on my own strength and understanding, but yours and yours alone. Speak to me with that still, small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. Lead me through this and whatever else you know lies in my path. May you receive the glory and honor forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen."
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Something Popping Into My Scrotum
With my recent streak of pain, I've had to look frantically for more coping mechanisms. This is what I've done in the last couple of days to help with the pain.
Well, can't stay on the computer any longer. Got to start moving. Back with more later.
- I no longer sleep on my right side.
- I no longer sit with my left leg in the "Indian-style" of sitting. Any stretching of the left groin makes something kind of pop out into my scrotum and the pain is tremendous.
- I have begun walking around the neighborhood. The treadmil seems like too much at this point.
- I don' stand for very long. Standing makes something pop out into my left scrotum also. Not sure what this is, but again, it hurts like crazy.
- Stay on computer for only 10 minutes at a time. Even if I'm not feeling any pain. Just kind of get on and then get off.
- Wear athletic supporter 24/7, yes - even to bed
Well, can't stay on the computer any longer. Got to start moving. Back with more later.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Not Sure What Happened Last Night
Last night I went to bed like any other night. I kept waking up having to adjust the pillow between my knees. I vaguely remember having an itch down there when I woke up too, but I can't remember exactly. Anyway, I woke up immediately this morning, briefly, after I had this dream that I got racked. The pillow was still between my knees. I woke up in pain, but it quickly faded, within seconds. So I'm not sure what really transpired. Was it a dream, did I accidentally hit myself in my sleep, did my knees slip briefly, pinching my boys? Honestly, I wish I knew.
Because this morning, I'm having this pain behind and to the right of my right testicle, where the epididymous is. I'd rate it about a 2-3. More nuisance than pain, at this point anyway. I'll probably take some tylenol with lunch to see if it helps. I was on the computer last night for about 2 hours, sitting! But I didn't have any pain at all last night.
I've been walking a lot and stretched out two nights ago, but again, I was pain free yesterday. I am coming up on my 1 year vasectomy reversal anniversary. I really hope nothing bad is happening down there. I'm finally to the point where I feel somewhat normal. Like I could hold down a job without worrying about my physical abilities.
I just pray that the pain is nothing more than pain, rather than a symptom of something bad taking place down there. There was a new person on the forum that I replied to. Her husband had a vasectomy 1 year ago and woke up the other day with epididymitis (presumably). I explained how I had a similar experience and now here I am waking up this morning with this weird pain.
Because this morning, I'm having this pain behind and to the right of my right testicle, where the epididymous is. I'd rate it about a 2-3. More nuisance than pain, at this point anyway. I'll probably take some tylenol with lunch to see if it helps. I was on the computer last night for about 2 hours, sitting! But I didn't have any pain at all last night.
I've been walking a lot and stretched out two nights ago, but again, I was pain free yesterday. I am coming up on my 1 year vasectomy reversal anniversary. I really hope nothing bad is happening down there. I'm finally to the point where I feel somewhat normal. Like I could hold down a job without worrying about my physical abilities.
I just pray that the pain is nothing more than pain, rather than a symptom of something bad taking place down there. There was a new person on the forum that I replied to. Her husband had a vasectomy 1 year ago and woke up the other day with epididymitis (presumably). I explained how I had a similar experience and now here I am waking up this morning with this weird pain.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Long Overdue
Wow, a lot has happened since I posted last. I think it's been a couple of days since my last post. It's official, we've started homeschooling. Yep that's right, we're homeschooling. We gave the public school a chance, but it just wasn't working out. They're too worried about their statewide testing rather then making sure our kids are being challenged in the classroom. So we pulled them out and now I guess I have that "teaching" job I was hoping for.
I was right about teaching. It has a nice mix of standing and sitting. A little too much computer time, printing off worksheets and such, but I hope that will lessen as we move further into school and my ordered workbooks arrive. Right now, I'm having to create a lot of worksheets on the computer, which makes my nerves down there a little jumpy.
My wife and I have rediscovered our intimacy. We've been together twice this week, Monday and last night (Thursday). That makes three times since last Saturday. This would be considered a world-wind six days of togetherness for us. So I've had 3 E.J.s in six days and I've experienced a little bit of pain behind my testicles. It feels like a paper cut behind my testicles where they attach in the perianal area. I've had this sensation/pain before. It feels like my vas deference is in spasm. It comes and goes. This feeling is painful after a while, because it just seems to build and build. I've taken tylenol twice because it is kind of aggravating.
I've also had intermittent inguinal nerve pain on my left side. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night several times because of this inguinal nerve pain on the left side. But I rolled onto my side and the pain seemed to have gone away. Not sure why?
I've been walking pretty regularly. I even added a little running this last week. Not very far, just about 20 yards, but it felt really good. At least, while I was running. So I'm not sure if this paper cut feeling/spasm thing and nerve pain is a result of making love to my wife or from the little bit of running I've done. I think I'll stop the running and see what happens with the pain.
I haven't taken any hot baths in a while, I may try that too. So, this post is a little long and a little revealing, but I think it's important to document everything that happens in this online journal of mine, so I can track what impacts my pain levels and how. I had been in a good way the last time I posted. I can see little signposts ahead that look like a bad cycle is on it's way. But I hope it doesn't last very long. Lord willing. Lord willing.
I was right about teaching. It has a nice mix of standing and sitting. A little too much computer time, printing off worksheets and such, but I hope that will lessen as we move further into school and my ordered workbooks arrive. Right now, I'm having to create a lot of worksheets on the computer, which makes my nerves down there a little jumpy.
My wife and I have rediscovered our intimacy. We've been together twice this week, Monday and last night (Thursday). That makes three times since last Saturday. This would be considered a world-wind six days of togetherness for us. So I've had 3 E.J.s in six days and I've experienced a little bit of pain behind my testicles. It feels like a paper cut behind my testicles where they attach in the perianal area. I've had this sensation/pain before. It feels like my vas deference is in spasm. It comes and goes. This feeling is painful after a while, because it just seems to build and build. I've taken tylenol twice because it is kind of aggravating.
I've also had intermittent inguinal nerve pain on my left side. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night several times because of this inguinal nerve pain on the left side. But I rolled onto my side and the pain seemed to have gone away. Not sure why?
I've been walking pretty regularly. I even added a little running this last week. Not very far, just about 20 yards, but it felt really good. At least, while I was running. So I'm not sure if this paper cut feeling/spasm thing and nerve pain is a result of making love to my wife or from the little bit of running I've done. I think I'll stop the running and see what happens with the pain.
I haven't taken any hot baths in a while, I may try that too. So, this post is a little long and a little revealing, but I think it's important to document everything that happens in this online journal of mine, so I can track what impacts my pain levels and how. I had been in a good way the last time I posted. I can see little signposts ahead that look like a bad cycle is on it's way. But I hope it doesn't last very long. Lord willing. Lord willing.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Back From Camping
Ah, the great outdoors. Camping in the fresh air, smores over a campfire, the sound of a rushing river. It all adds up to a good time. I wondered how I would do, with the nerve pain and all. I wondered if I would over exert myself; mis-step on a slippery rock; lift something too heavy. But I didn't. I was careful, but not overly. It wasn't like a gave a whole lot of thought to my PVPs. It was one of those times when I actually felt normal.
The only time I was reminded of my pain was when I laid down to sleep at night. I squeezed into my "mummy" styled sleeping bag, on our Coleman air mattresses. I tried to get comfortable, but I didn't bring a pillow to place between my knees. So I slept fairly uncomfortably. Woke up a lot. Had to pee like a racehorse in the middle of the night (but it was too cold to get out of the tent). But once 6 am hit and I was able to get up, go to the bathroom and start my second roaring fire of the camping trip, I was back in normal mode. Didn't give my pain a second thought.
We had a good mix of walking, standing, and sitting. It seems like when those three activities are intermingled a lot, then my pain is substantially lessened. Too much of one though and the whole balance gets messed up. Once I get done blogging, I'm going to hit the hay and get a good night's sleep (Lord willing) to make up for last night. But I'll have my pillow all set up.
Still taking the vitamin and feeling my energy level staying high along with my mental sharpness. Praying a lot. In fact, my family and I had a great little Sunday service around the campfire this morning. It was awsome. My son gave the opening pray, my daughter led us in a song, I read about David escaping from Saul and my wife closed us in prayer. Just a neat, neat time - best part of the trip to be sure.
No pain to report today - thank you Jesus. Hoping for more of the same this week.
The only time I was reminded of my pain was when I laid down to sleep at night. I squeezed into my "mummy" styled sleeping bag, on our Coleman air mattresses. I tried to get comfortable, but I didn't bring a pillow to place between my knees. So I slept fairly uncomfortably. Woke up a lot. Had to pee like a racehorse in the middle of the night (but it was too cold to get out of the tent). But once 6 am hit and I was able to get up, go to the bathroom and start my second roaring fire of the camping trip, I was back in normal mode. Didn't give my pain a second thought.
We had a good mix of walking, standing, and sitting. It seems like when those three activities are intermingled a lot, then my pain is substantially lessened. Too much of one though and the whole balance gets messed up. Once I get done blogging, I'm going to hit the hay and get a good night's sleep (Lord willing) to make up for last night. But I'll have my pillow all set up.
Still taking the vitamin and feeling my energy level staying high along with my mental sharpness. Praying a lot. In fact, my family and I had a great little Sunday service around the campfire this morning. It was awsome. My son gave the opening pray, my daughter led us in a song, I read about David escaping from Saul and my wife closed us in prayer. Just a neat, neat time - best part of the trip to be sure.
No pain to report today - thank you Jesus. Hoping for more of the same this week.
Monday, August 29, 2011
How Did Sunday Go?
I didn't sleep much better the night before. Then Sunday started off with a full, congested feeling on the right side. It was difficult just driving to church, very uncomfortable in my jeans. But once I was there, the ache started to go away. The rest of the day turned out fairly okay. Now, I didn't do much except lounge around the house, but that's okay. I'll take what I can.
Last night, I woke up once. It was too cold to get out of bed, so I just told myself that I didn't really have to go pee. That seemed to work. I'm going to try to not drink or eat as much before bed, maybe that'll help me with my sleeping. Since we moved here, we've been eating kind of late in the evening. I know, that's not very healthy.
My wife went to work today - yea, she got a job. Nothing much up here for me. Maybe I'll have to get a run of the mill job instead of working at my normal career. The pickens are kind of slim in this part of the world, for my brand of health care services.
But I'm sure the Lord has a plan for that too. I'll just be patient and wait for the right opportunity to come along. Hopefully, it won't demand much from me physically, since this inguinal pain seems to get worse when I do a lot of abdominal straining/lifting. I need a job where I can sit down, stand up and walk around a little bit. Teaching would be ideal, but I'm not a teacher. Although, I could be an educator in a hospital. Sadly, those jobs are pretty few and far between. Like I said, I'm sure something will come up that works well for my particular situation.
Last night, I woke up once. It was too cold to get out of bed, so I just told myself that I didn't really have to go pee. That seemed to work. I'm going to try to not drink or eat as much before bed, maybe that'll help me with my sleeping. Since we moved here, we've been eating kind of late in the evening. I know, that's not very healthy.
My wife went to work today - yea, she got a job. Nothing much up here for me. Maybe I'll have to get a run of the mill job instead of working at my normal career. The pickens are kind of slim in this part of the world, for my brand of health care services.
But I'm sure the Lord has a plan for that too. I'll just be patient and wait for the right opportunity to come along. Hopefully, it won't demand much from me physically, since this inguinal pain seems to get worse when I do a lot of abdominal straining/lifting. I need a job where I can sit down, stand up and walk around a little bit. Teaching would be ideal, but I'm not a teacher. Although, I could be an educator in a hospital. Sadly, those jobs are pretty few and far between. Like I said, I'm sure something will come up that works well for my particular situation.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Taking Tylenol Just In Case
Last night I woke up in a hot sweat and had to go to the bathroom. I opened up the windows and went back to bed. I woke up again needing to go to the bathroom again and I was cold, so I shut the windows. I'm not sleeping very good since we've moved to the pacific NW. Not sure why. My bed doesn't feel comfortable and I am having difficulty voiding urine completely or at least, I'm having to pee a lot throughout the day. But again, my wife and I haven't really been together a lot either, so maybe it's just a large prostate kind of thing.
I didn't have any pain per se' today, although the fullness or congestion feeling was present (on the right side). I took some tylenol just to stay ahead of any pain I might have experienced. It must have worked, because here it is, 10 P.M. and I haven't had any pain, just the full feeling is all.
Tomorrow is church. They have much more comfortable chairs than our last church in Texas. So I can tolerate sitting there better. I won't take any tylenol in the morning - to see how things go. If I need it though, I've learned not to be proud or suffer in pain. Just take the medicine if needed. Taking it only once a day shouldn't pose that big of a problem anyway. We'll see how it goes. Well I hope, Lord willing.
I didn't have any pain per se' today, although the fullness or congestion feeling was present (on the right side). I took some tylenol just to stay ahead of any pain I might have experienced. It must have worked, because here it is, 10 P.M. and I haven't had any pain, just the full feeling is all.
Tomorrow is church. They have much more comfortable chairs than our last church in Texas. So I can tolerate sitting there better. I won't take any tylenol in the morning - to see how things go. If I need it though, I've learned not to be proud or suffer in pain. Just take the medicine if needed. Taking it only once a day shouldn't pose that big of a problem anyway. We'll see how it goes. Well I hope, Lord willing.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Ibuprofen Helped, But...
The ibuprofen did help my left side. It took a couple of hours for it to kick in. I'm back to not sleeping very well because I have that uncomfortable feeling in my scrotum. Today, I went to church and started to feel sheepish, because so many other people there have cancer or some other life threatening disease. However, I know that PVPS is a lifestyle threatening disease. In other words, it can break up your marriage, damper your parenting abilities, force you out of work, etc.
But, going to church always helps me to put things in perspective. The gnawing pain on my left has subsided for now, but right on cue, my right side is starting to let me know it's not done hurting. My goal is to get off my butt and try staying upright as much as possible today. We have a father's day dinner with my wife's dad, so I have that to look forward to.
Otherwise, I'm just going to try and do my best. If I need to take medicine than so be it. I'm tired of being in pain. I think I just need a 2-5 day period break. It seems like chronic pain beats me down emotionally and spiritually. Again, as one person put it..."If you can take a pain pill to get relief, than why wouldn't you?". I don't think that should be a daily pronouncement, but to give yourself a break every now and then, I think it's a relevant idea.
But, going to church always helps me to put things in perspective. The gnawing pain on my left has subsided for now, but right on cue, my right side is starting to let me know it's not done hurting. My goal is to get off my butt and try staying upright as much as possible today. We have a father's day dinner with my wife's dad, so I have that to look forward to.
Otherwise, I'm just going to try and do my best. If I need to take medicine than so be it. I'm tired of being in pain. I think I just need a 2-5 day period break. It seems like chronic pain beats me down emotionally and spiritually. Again, as one person put it..."If you can take a pain pill to get relief, than why wouldn't you?". I don't think that should be a daily pronouncement, but to give yourself a break every now and then, I think it's a relevant idea.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I Caved and Took My Medicine
Last night, I decided I wanted to be free of the annoying little ache on my right side. So I took some tylenol. The pain didn't go away until this morning. But I did sleep better last night. My wife and I also were together last night, so I'll be curious to see if my left side starts to hurt a little bit tonite or tomorrow.
Since my reversal, I thought my testosterone level might increase a little bit. It was around 417 which is in the normal range, but still low for someone of my age. Since my reversal, it is now 400 - still low. I thought it might increase a little bit, but almost 5 months out, it hasn't. Right around the second month post reversal, I had a surge of energy, my face was breaking out and I was feeling great (aside from the nerve pain, that is).
Now, that surge of energy has passed and I'm kind of back to my old ways. I have energy, just not in abundance. My mood is better, but it could just be because I'm hopeful the reversal worked.
I thought someone said it very well on the forum today. He said, "What I have found the hardest bit outside of the physical pain is not letting the pain affect you mentally. This is not easy but it is necessary as life is just too difficult with both physical and mental pain." That pretty much sums it up right there. PVPS gives you both physical and mental/emotional pain. The fact that it is not straitforward or consistent between people is also insane. It effects every one differently, and yet the results are the same.
The tylenol seems to have kicked in and my pain is gone on my right side. I hate the fact I am so dependent on medication to feel good. But as someone else said on the forum, (and I'm paraphrasing this time) - "if you can take a pill and have the pain go away, then why would you sit there and allow yourself to be in pain all the time?" I think this is sort of humbling because it means you are relying on something outside yourself to feel better, physically. I don't think anyone likes that idea.
Since my reversal, I thought my testosterone level might increase a little bit. It was around 417 which is in the normal range, but still low for someone of my age. Since my reversal, it is now 400 - still low. I thought it might increase a little bit, but almost 5 months out, it hasn't. Right around the second month post reversal, I had a surge of energy, my face was breaking out and I was feeling great (aside from the nerve pain, that is).
Now, that surge of energy has passed and I'm kind of back to my old ways. I have energy, just not in abundance. My mood is better, but it could just be because I'm hopeful the reversal worked.
I thought someone said it very well on the forum today. He said, "What I have found the hardest bit outside of the physical pain is not letting the pain affect you mentally. This is not easy but it is necessary as life is just too difficult with both physical and mental pain." That pretty much sums it up right there. PVPS gives you both physical and mental/emotional pain. The fact that it is not straitforward or consistent between people is also insane. It effects every one differently, and yet the results are the same.
The tylenol seems to have kicked in and my pain is gone on my right side. I hate the fact I am so dependent on medication to feel good. But as someone else said on the forum, (and I'm paraphrasing this time) - "if you can take a pill and have the pain go away, then why would you sit there and allow yourself to be in pain all the time?" I think this is sort of humbling because it means you are relying on something outside yourself to feel better, physically. I don't think anyone likes that idea.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Bothersome Right Inguinal Pain
Today has been okay. I feel pretty normal except for this bothersome right inguinal pain. It doesn't radiate into my scrotum, although it does refer directly under by belly on the right side. It's a mix of nerve/congestion-like pain combined with muscle pain. Like I did too many sit ups or took the stairs when I should have taken the elevator. Every once in a while, I get a little knifing-like pain, but it's not too intense. Nothing I think I need to take pain medicine for.
Meanwhile, I had to take a trip to the store to buy more condoms. Did you know Kroger keeps them under lock and key? You have to get a pharmacist to open the cabinet so you can buy them. Isn't that crazy? So in an effort to keep everything on the DL, I went to Tom Thumb instead.
We'll see if I actually get the chance to use them this week. :) If my wife and I do get together, I've noticed a trend. My right side feels better but my left side starts to ache. That lasts about 3 days, then my left side starts feeling better, but my right side starts to ache.
PVPS is the craziest thing. I still haven't decided if I want to go back on the rapaflo. I might try the 4 mg strength, especially if I'm going to be having this right sided inguinal pain. Maybe it is something I can take for a couple of weeks, then stop, then start back up again. I'm not sure what that would do to my body, generally speaking - it being an alpha blocker and all.
But right now, I might just grab a tylenol as I slept pretty badly these last two nights. I think it might have something to do with the pain.
Meanwhile, I had to take a trip to the store to buy more condoms. Did you know Kroger keeps them under lock and key? You have to get a pharmacist to open the cabinet so you can buy them. Isn't that crazy? So in an effort to keep everything on the DL, I went to Tom Thumb instead.
We'll see if I actually get the chance to use them this week. :) If my wife and I do get together, I've noticed a trend. My right side feels better but my left side starts to ache. That lasts about 3 days, then my left side starts feeling better, but my right side starts to ache.
PVPS is the craziest thing. I still haven't decided if I want to go back on the rapaflo. I might try the 4 mg strength, especially if I'm going to be having this right sided inguinal pain. Maybe it is something I can take for a couple of weeks, then stop, then start back up again. I'm not sure what that would do to my body, generally speaking - it being an alpha blocker and all.
But right now, I might just grab a tylenol as I slept pretty badly these last two nights. I think it might have something to do with the pain.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday Morning After a Busy Weekend, a Lesson in Patience
I had another good night sleep. I moved from side to side with no problems. I woke up and felt pretty good. Then I drove my kids to school and now I've got that little feeling again on my right side. Not pain really, just sensations that if all was well, I wouldn't be noticing.
Despite that though, I feel like I made it through the busy weekend pretty good. I seem to have less pain when I sit around and do nothing. Whereas before, I would have pain, even when I wasn't doing anything. So, I guess that's an improvement. I was telling my wife, that when I have periods in the day without pain, I forget that I have this post vasectomy pain syndrome. I start to feel normal and I think back the previous couple of days and think, "Oh, that wasn't so bad". I'm glad I'm keeping this online journal, because it helps me remember what kind of pain I had, when I had it, and how bad it was.
But even though I feel better, I know I can't overdo it. I've got to stay within myself and slowly push forward. It's like a steep climb to get just 1 or 2 feet in elevation, then there's this long flat plateau before I get to the next riser, which is only a couple of feet again, followed by another long flat plateau.
I feel like I'm on that second plateau. Mentally, I'm ready for some more climbing, but physically, I know I'm not ready. I still hope to be a PVPS success story, Lord willing. I think it's just going to take some time. So no treadmill for me yet. No heavy lifting or stooping/bending. Just daily stretching, casual walking around the neighborhood, eating better, less sitting, etc. I need to be active, but just what would be considered normal daily activity around the house.
Maybe I can get like a certain doctor whom I respect that has PVPS. He participates in triathalons, despite having this horrible condition. I admire him for that. Maybe I'll be able to get aggressive with my activity some day, but not right now. Right now I just need to recover from my reversal surgery, which may take up to a full year. Patience, patience.
Despite that though, I feel like I made it through the busy weekend pretty good. I seem to have less pain when I sit around and do nothing. Whereas before, I would have pain, even when I wasn't doing anything. So, I guess that's an improvement. I was telling my wife, that when I have periods in the day without pain, I forget that I have this post vasectomy pain syndrome. I start to feel normal and I think back the previous couple of days and think, "Oh, that wasn't so bad". I'm glad I'm keeping this online journal, because it helps me remember what kind of pain I had, when I had it, and how bad it was.
But even though I feel better, I know I can't overdo it. I've got to stay within myself and slowly push forward. It's like a steep climb to get just 1 or 2 feet in elevation, then there's this long flat plateau before I get to the next riser, which is only a couple of feet again, followed by another long flat plateau.
I feel like I'm on that second plateau. Mentally, I'm ready for some more climbing, but physically, I know I'm not ready. I still hope to be a PVPS success story, Lord willing. I think it's just going to take some time. So no treadmill for me yet. No heavy lifting or stooping/bending. Just daily stretching, casual walking around the neighborhood, eating better, less sitting, etc. I need to be active, but just what would be considered normal daily activity around the house.
Maybe I can get like a certain doctor whom I respect that has PVPS. He participates in triathalons, despite having this horrible condition. I admire him for that. Maybe I'll be able to get aggressive with my activity some day, but not right now. Right now I just need to recover from my reversal surgery, which may take up to a full year. Patience, patience.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Morning
I stretched out again last night. Felt good. I've noticed that I can now sleep on my sides, instead of only my back. Even with a pillow between my knees, sleeping on my side would bring me mass amounts of pain in my scrotum, like something was being pulled out. I believe my recent listlessness and depression has something to do with poor sleeping. It wasn't uncommon for me to awaken several times at night to find a comfortable position, go to the bathroom or take a deep breath after a shot of nerve pain. These last couple of nights have been much more restful.
Today is Easter morning. He is risen; He is risen indeed! Our sermon today was about how Jesus will meet us where he sends us. I feel that Jesus has met me several times, at different moments, along this path of post vasectomy pain syndrome. Now in all honesty, I didn't really want to talk with him, because I was mad at Him, the world and myself for having had the vasectomy almost 6 years ago. However, I believe He is with me, as He always has been. I am finding much more comfort in his presence than I did a few months ago.
I had a knock-down-drag-out with Him about 2 months ago. I expressed a lot of frustration and anger. In the end though, He just kept telling me how much He loved me and how much He would help me through this. I kind of got the impression this was a journey I'd have to go through and that it would change me for the better as a result. I still wish I could be changed without having to go through this, but who am I to second-guess. All my decisions have been pretty stupid and resulted in poor outcomes. So I guess I'll turn the reigns over to Him for a while and see if I have better luck.
Anyway, I'm feeling about the same as yesterday. A little achey on the right (nerve pain) and a little "racky" on the left. Sitting in church didn't help, even though I had my little cushion with me. Maybe I'll sit toward the back next time, where I can get up and move around a little bit, without having to sit for so long.
Life goes on and it's not going to wait for me. So I'd better get along or I'll be left behind. Lucky, my Savior will meet up with me where ever it is He's sending me.
Today is Easter morning. He is risen; He is risen indeed! Our sermon today was about how Jesus will meet us where he sends us. I feel that Jesus has met me several times, at different moments, along this path of post vasectomy pain syndrome. Now in all honesty, I didn't really want to talk with him, because I was mad at Him, the world and myself for having had the vasectomy almost 6 years ago. However, I believe He is with me, as He always has been. I am finding much more comfort in his presence than I did a few months ago.
I had a knock-down-drag-out with Him about 2 months ago. I expressed a lot of frustration and anger. In the end though, He just kept telling me how much He loved me and how much He would help me through this. I kind of got the impression this was a journey I'd have to go through and that it would change me for the better as a result. I still wish I could be changed without having to go through this, but who am I to second-guess. All my decisions have been pretty stupid and resulted in poor outcomes. So I guess I'll turn the reigns over to Him for a while and see if I have better luck.
Anyway, I'm feeling about the same as yesterday. A little achey on the right (nerve pain) and a little "racky" on the left. Sitting in church didn't help, even though I had my little cushion with me. Maybe I'll sit toward the back next time, where I can get up and move around a little bit, without having to sit for so long.
Life goes on and it's not going to wait for me. So I'd better get along or I'll be left behind. Lucky, my Savior will meet up with me where ever it is He's sending me.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Feeling Better Today
Okay, it's official - no more strenuous work for me, for at least a couple more months. Yesterday was just awful. I woke up in the night several times with nerve pain; I had pain in my "johnson" (code for, well, you know...); couldn't get comfortable at all yesterday evening/night. It was just a bad day.
People talk about a mental fog when you have this problem. Some relate it to low testosterone levels. I was talking to my wife about this though, and she has noticed that a lot of her chronic pain patients also talk about this mental fog. Her theory is that our minds are so preoccupied with pain, we lose our ability to focus and remember things. After yesterday, I'll have to agree with her. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't think about anything other than the pain. Because of this, yesterday was simply a blur in my mind. All I remember is the generic existance I had. I also remember having a lot of chest palpitations (stress related?), thinking that if I died, then at least I wouldn't have to deal with this chronic pain anymore.
The other bad thing about chronic pain is even when you're feeling good, you know it's only temporary, because the pain will come back.
So I've already told my wife, I can't do any more heavy work around the house. I'll make whatever phone calls need to be made, I'll do simple chores around the house, but any straining is completely out of the question. Thank goodness, she is okay with that. I still feel guilty about this decision, but that's something I have to get past. As someone on the forum said, you only get the chance to recover ONCE. I need to take advantage of that chance.
People talk about a mental fog when you have this problem. Some relate it to low testosterone levels. I was talking to my wife about this though, and she has noticed that a lot of her chronic pain patients also talk about this mental fog. Her theory is that our minds are so preoccupied with pain, we lose our ability to focus and remember things. After yesterday, I'll have to agree with her. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't think about anything other than the pain. Because of this, yesterday was simply a blur in my mind. All I remember is the generic existance I had. I also remember having a lot of chest palpitations (stress related?), thinking that if I died, then at least I wouldn't have to deal with this chronic pain anymore.
The other bad thing about chronic pain is even when you're feeling good, you know it's only temporary, because the pain will come back.
So I've already told my wife, I can't do any more heavy work around the house. I'll make whatever phone calls need to be made, I'll do simple chores around the house, but any straining is completely out of the question. Thank goodness, she is okay with that. I still feel guilty about this decision, but that's something I have to get past. As someone on the forum said, you only get the chance to recover ONCE. I need to take advantage of that chance.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I Hate PVPS
Last night two things happened. First, I took a little nap (laying on my left side w/ pillow between knees). When I woke up I noticed a new twinge on the left side of my scrotum. It wasn't overly painful, just uncomfortable. The twinge came in waves. I looked down there and my left teste is markedly crescent shaped. Almost like a banana. That little puffy thing (where my epididymous should be) is now a lot harder. Still not sure if that is a spermatocele or something else. The doctor says it's just a natural change in my anatomy from the reversal. Some how, I don't think that's true. Okay, so then the twinge continued to get a little more prominent as the night wore on. Now this morning, it is still there. It feels like someone has a grip on my left nut and then lets go. And then it repeats again and again. I'm hoping it's some sort of nerve pain, rather than a bout of epididymitis coming on. I was on the computer a lot yesterday working on my websites, so maybe that's the reason I'm feeling it. But really, who knows?
Okay, the second thing that happened is I found our insurance appeal with Aetna was denied. They say the plan doesn't cover reversals for infertility. Well duh, I didn't have this for infertility. The crazy thing about it is, that everytime I speak with one of their customer service representatives, they all can't figure out why the claim was denied. They completely understand that I had it for medically necessary reasons, rather than infertility. In fact, the surgeon coded the surgery as orchitis and epididymitis, not infertilty. But, apparently, I'll have to do another appeal, this time through my wife's employer.
The hospital bill is $40,000 and the surgeon's bill is $4,500. The weird thing is the insurance paid the anesthesiologist. So, we're going to do the workplace appeal and hope for the best. There's simply no way we can pay a $46,000 medical bill. Maybe I"ll buy a lottery ticket.
But as I've said before, I'd gladly go into debt if it meant I didn't have PVPS/epididymitis anymore. My wife isn't too sure about that though :-)
Well, here's hoping the Lord will be merciful with me and take the pain away. Jesus is the only one who can help me. It seems like the older I get, the more I realize how much I need Him, everyday. If it weren't for my Lord and Savior, I doubt seriously I would be in as good a frame of mind. That doesn't mean I've got this figured out, it just means that I rely on Him to get through the day. I learned a long time ago, that when I relied on myself, bad things usually resulted. It was like, I couldn't get out of my own way. It's kind of hard to explain, but Jesus helps me with this PVPS thing and everything else, for that matter. Not sure why I'm putting this all in here, but I am supposed to journal about what I'm feeling and thinking. So I guess I'm thinking I need Jesus' help.
Okay, the second thing that happened is I found our insurance appeal with Aetna was denied. They say the plan doesn't cover reversals for infertility. Well duh, I didn't have this for infertility. The crazy thing about it is, that everytime I speak with one of their customer service representatives, they all can't figure out why the claim was denied. They completely understand that I had it for medically necessary reasons, rather than infertility. In fact, the surgeon coded the surgery as orchitis and epididymitis, not infertilty. But, apparently, I'll have to do another appeal, this time through my wife's employer.
The hospital bill is $40,000 and the surgeon's bill is $4,500. The weird thing is the insurance paid the anesthesiologist. So, we're going to do the workplace appeal and hope for the best. There's simply no way we can pay a $46,000 medical bill. Maybe I"ll buy a lottery ticket.
But as I've said before, I'd gladly go into debt if it meant I didn't have PVPS/epididymitis anymore. My wife isn't too sure about that though :-)
Well, here's hoping the Lord will be merciful with me and take the pain away. Jesus is the only one who can help me. It seems like the older I get, the more I realize how much I need Him, everyday. If it weren't for my Lord and Savior, I doubt seriously I would be in as good a frame of mind. That doesn't mean I've got this figured out, it just means that I rely on Him to get through the day. I learned a long time ago, that when I relied on myself, bad things usually resulted. It was like, I couldn't get out of my own way. It's kind of hard to explain, but Jesus helps me with this PVPS thing and everything else, for that matter. Not sure why I'm putting this all in here, but I am supposed to journal about what I'm feeling and thinking. So I guess I'm thinking I need Jesus' help.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Feeling a little better
Okay, I think I'm getting the hang of this post reversal nerve pain stuff. Here is a list of things that upset my nerves, followed by a list of things that make them feel better. I do have a disclaimer though. The nerve pain has a mind of its own. It doesn't need the rest of me to decide as to whether its going to hurt or not.
Makes pain worse:
1. A lot of driving
2. A lot of sitting on a harder surface
3. Sitting upright for a moderate period of time (like at the computer)
4. Sitting forward for about 15 seconds
5. Lots of standing
6. Lots of activity
7. Lifting heavy objects, like my kids
8. Any abdominal straining
9. Tight pants (like jeans)
10. Yard work (digging flower beds - straining)
Makes pain better:
1. Mixing up my standing, sitting, reclining, walking
2. Moderate activity, with no lifting
3. Laying flat on back
4. Tylenol
5. Ibuprofen
6. Staying off computer
7. Keeping legs uncrossed
8. Sleeping on back with pillow under knees
9. Cruise control when driving
10. Wearing basketball shorts
This is not a comprehensive list, but I'm starting to get the idea. It is surprising that sitting upright would cause me pain, but it does. Maybe I need to lose some of my belly fat. I'm not that fat to begin with (I wear a size 33 waist pants), but my belly could use some exercise. After all, I haven't been able to exercise since last August because of the chronic epididymitis and then reversal surgery.
I haven't had any more pain while urinating, since my last mention. Interesting, but as a general rule, I can tell what kind of day its going to be when I first wake up. But remember, the above disclaimer does still apply.
Makes pain worse:
1. A lot of driving
2. A lot of sitting on a harder surface
3. Sitting upright for a moderate period of time (like at the computer)
4. Sitting forward for about 15 seconds
5. Lots of standing
6. Lots of activity
7. Lifting heavy objects, like my kids
8. Any abdominal straining
9. Tight pants (like jeans)
10. Yard work (digging flower beds - straining)
Makes pain better:
1. Mixing up my standing, sitting, reclining, walking
2. Moderate activity, with no lifting
3. Laying flat on back
4. Tylenol
5. Ibuprofen
6. Staying off computer
7. Keeping legs uncrossed
8. Sleeping on back with pillow under knees
9. Cruise control when driving
10. Wearing basketball shorts
This is not a comprehensive list, but I'm starting to get the idea. It is surprising that sitting upright would cause me pain, but it does. Maybe I need to lose some of my belly fat. I'm not that fat to begin with (I wear a size 33 waist pants), but my belly could use some exercise. After all, I haven't been able to exercise since last August because of the chronic epididymitis and then reversal surgery.
I haven't had any more pain while urinating, since my last mention. Interesting, but as a general rule, I can tell what kind of day its going to be when I first wake up. But remember, the above disclaimer does still apply.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Back From Camping Weekend
My son and I had a great time camping and fishing. We're very happy that our church was able to put this up as part of their father/son ministry. We basically fished for bass and perch all weekend and mixed in a little s'mores, bonfire, snipe hunt, and the usual stuff that goes with camping.
I did a lot of walking and was surprised that my pain levels were pretty low to non-existent. Until last night, when the nerve pain woke me up out of a peaceful slumber. I don't remember nerve pain waking me up before, so yet another new pain experience to catalog. Then, as I got into the car to make the hour drive home, I had another episode of nerve pain. Both of these pains were on my left side.
Just when I think my left side won't bother me anymore, something like this happens and "pow", the remains of the vasectomy side-effects hit me like a ton of bricks. Someone posted in our group that his post-reversal time seemed like 10-12 months, but it's only been about 8. I can understand his perspective. It seems like my reversal was about 6 months ago, but it was only back in late December (about 3 months ago). I also feel like my vasectomy and subsequent reversal for pain and chronic epididymitis has aged me about 10-15 years.
That might be the lower testosterone levels or it might be because of all the worrying and frustration I've had to endure over the last 5.5 years. I think I have a better handle on what chronic pain people go through, because I've become one. Sometimes it's not always the pain that gets you, but the threat of pain. You're afraid to do stuff because it might result in terrible pain. I was very scared to go on this church campout, for fear of being in a ton of pain afterwards.
So the rest of my day will look like this. Reclining in the chair, walking around the house and fretting about doing anything else that may cause added stress to my already stressed pelvic region. That is the other devastating side effects of vasectomy - the lifestyle changes.
I'll be back tomorrow with another installment of my online post vasectomy side effects journal.
I did a lot of walking and was surprised that my pain levels were pretty low to non-existent. Until last night, when the nerve pain woke me up out of a peaceful slumber. I don't remember nerve pain waking me up before, so yet another new pain experience to catalog. Then, as I got into the car to make the hour drive home, I had another episode of nerve pain. Both of these pains were on my left side.
Just when I think my left side won't bother me anymore, something like this happens and "pow", the remains of the vasectomy side-effects hit me like a ton of bricks. Someone posted in our group that his post-reversal time seemed like 10-12 months, but it's only been about 8. I can understand his perspective. It seems like my reversal was about 6 months ago, but it was only back in late December (about 3 months ago). I also feel like my vasectomy and subsequent reversal for pain and chronic epididymitis has aged me about 10-15 years.
That might be the lower testosterone levels or it might be because of all the worrying and frustration I've had to endure over the last 5.5 years. I think I have a better handle on what chronic pain people go through, because I've become one. Sometimes it's not always the pain that gets you, but the threat of pain. You're afraid to do stuff because it might result in terrible pain. I was very scared to go on this church campout, for fear of being in a ton of pain afterwards.
So the rest of my day will look like this. Reclining in the chair, walking around the house and fretting about doing anything else that may cause added stress to my already stressed pelvic region. That is the other devastating side effects of vasectomy - the lifestyle changes.
I'll be back tomorrow with another installment of my online post vasectomy side effects journal.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Even Sleeping Hurts
Prior to my vasectomy reversal, I just had epididymitis and very little pain. Now, I've got lots of different pains and no epididymitis. I am still hopeful that I'll improve on the pain front over the course of the next several months.
Okay, today I realized that sleeping is a pain in my ___________ (and I don't mean butt). It seems that my scrotum gets squished and smashed while I'm asleep which causes me to wake up throughout the night to find a comfortable position. This occurs even though I place a thick pillow between my knees. It seems I need to find a thicker pillow. Also, when I sleep in the fetal position, knees up toward my belly, it pinches some kind of nerve in my belly button area. That too is uncomfortable, not painful, just uncomfortable.
So if you're reading this journal post wondering if vasectomies are worth it, my answer is "no". I would rather be using condoms and having an active lifestyle rather than experiencing this PVPS. Even if it meant I might have an extra child or two. I do love my kids and can't imagine my family without them. I'm sure I would have felt the same way if we had more.
It's funny, but getting the vasectomy has made me a cranky old man faster than I should have been. I'm sure my parenting has been very affected by this disorder. So, if I had never had the vasectomy, I'd probably be a better Dad.
PVPS worms its way into so many different aspects of your life. It affects your work life, parenting life, spousal life, sex life, outlook on life, energy level, traveling, driving, sitting, playing, keeping up your home, etc. The list is truly exhausting. Now, I'm not here to say this syndrome is worse than cancer or diabetes or some other debilitating disease, but it is bad in and of itself. I don't envy anyone who has any disease or other health challenge, including PVPS.
So I'm not here to get your sympathy, but rather to help put on paper (figurative) what someone goes through who has PVPS and hopefully convince lots of people not to have it done.
I saw something on a T-shirt recently that put it all together for me. It had a picture of a Squirrel in a defensive stance and it read, "You got to protect your nuts". How true!
Okay, today I realized that sleeping is a pain in my ___________ (and I don't mean butt). It seems that my scrotum gets squished and smashed while I'm asleep which causes me to wake up throughout the night to find a comfortable position. This occurs even though I place a thick pillow between my knees. It seems I need to find a thicker pillow. Also, when I sleep in the fetal position, knees up toward my belly, it pinches some kind of nerve in my belly button area. That too is uncomfortable, not painful, just uncomfortable.
So if you're reading this journal post wondering if vasectomies are worth it, my answer is "no". I would rather be using condoms and having an active lifestyle rather than experiencing this PVPS. Even if it meant I might have an extra child or two. I do love my kids and can't imagine my family without them. I'm sure I would have felt the same way if we had more.
It's funny, but getting the vasectomy has made me a cranky old man faster than I should have been. I'm sure my parenting has been very affected by this disorder. So, if I had never had the vasectomy, I'd probably be a better Dad.
PVPS worms its way into so many different aspects of your life. It affects your work life, parenting life, spousal life, sex life, outlook on life, energy level, traveling, driving, sitting, playing, keeping up your home, etc. The list is truly exhausting. Now, I'm not here to say this syndrome is worse than cancer or diabetes or some other debilitating disease, but it is bad in and of itself. I don't envy anyone who has any disease or other health challenge, including PVPS.
So I'm not here to get your sympathy, but rather to help put on paper (figurative) what someone goes through who has PVPS and hopefully convince lots of people not to have it done.
I saw something on a T-shirt recently that put it all together for me. It had a picture of a Squirrel in a defensive stance and it read, "You got to protect your nuts". How true!
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