It's almost been two years since my vasectomy reversal surgery. It just kind of dawned on me a few moments ago that I have some noticeable physical changes to my boys down there. When I first had my reversal, I noticed my epididymous was still a little swollen. Although nothing like it had been for the previous three months prior to my reversal. However, as of today, it is still a little swollen. I guess that swelling will never go down. It used to scare me because I'd look down there and wonder if my epididymitis was returning.
On my left side, there was this "horizontal line" indentation going straight across my testicle. I never really knew what it was. Strange, but it really is a perfectly straight horizontal line. I'm not sure what my reversal doc did inside there to make the skin kind of fold like that, but it certainly isn't natural. Again, it is still there to this day.
So there are two weird physical changes that are still present almost two years after the surgery. So if you have a reversal surgery, don't be surprised if your boys physically look different from that day forward.
My wife and I had some intimate times and all seems well. No pain to speak of, except for a mild inguinal ache on the right side, that is hardly noticeable. But that could be due to me spending so much time sitting, on-line at my computer trying to put the finishing touches on my book publishing (see link on tab above). I sent my book to a guy at the forum and so far he likes it. I hope lots of people will take a look at it before they decide to have a vasectomy.
Showing posts with label testicle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label testicle. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sharp Pinching Sensation and a Prayer
Today I was laying in bed on my left side, with my typical pillow between my knees. This is how I sleep most of the time, or on my back. Anyway, I've been straitening out my left leg (the one under the pillow) for a while now. So basically, my right leg (on top of the pillow) is the only one in the fetal position. It's a nice change of pace and hasn't been painful in any way at all...until this morning that is.
I'm not sure what the deal was. Interestingly, it all started when I had to get up 3 times to pee last night. And by pee, I don't mean dribble, dribble. Nope, I had to go. So it wasn't like a prostate thing, like you see on the TV commercials. Rather, it was as if someone had slipped me a diuretic before bedtime; I had to go and go badly.
Finally, around 6:15 am, I woke up and turned to my side to sleep as I described above, left leg straight, right leg in the fetal position. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had this pinching, almost burning pain in my right testicle, on the back side. This is where your epididymous is located. I felt down there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I hadn't smashed my testicle or anything like that. There was plenty of room for maneuvering down there. So I straightened out my right leg and the pain disappeared.
I reconnoitered and brought my right leg up again, and sure enough, the pinching pain returned. I repeated this about 5 times, with the same result. With every fetal curl, my right testicle would feel like someone was burying a needle into it, about an inch deep. I tried to just toughen it out, but eventually had to relent, too much pain.
I rolled back over to my back and laid there. No snoozing for me this morning. I stayed awake the remainder of the morning until I got up. I noticed I was a little sore down there during breakfast, so I took 1 Tylenol, just in case it wouldn't go away.
It's pain like that which causes my anxiety level to increase. Random pains down there which seem positional in nature, make me think that anatomically, something is not quite right post vasectomy reversal. I really wish I had a video tape of my reversal.
But more likely, there is probably just some scar tissue down there that is rubbing against something or pinching something it shouldn't. When I think about this, I start to get fanciful ideas about having another surgery to "clean up" the area, kind of like when an athlete gets their knee cleaned out. But I don't dare have another surgery down there, if I can help it.
This is the roller coaster thinking you do when you have PVPS. Your mind play out numerous scenarios back and forth with a slew of "would of", "could of", and "should of" 's. Very tiring thinking and frustrating.
I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa. She talks about trusting in God for all things and then expecting him to come through in the clutch. I think that's where I struggle, the "expecting him to come through" part. But I think this is part of the master's plan for my spiritual growth. Or rather, not part of his initial plan, but since it's happened, he'll use it to that end.
So I guess it's back to just trusting God through all of this. Not letting myself get on that emotional roller coaster.
"Lord, please help me to trust in you. To expect that you'll help me. To absolutely count on it. You've done it before, with my marriage, my family, my career, etc. So why should I expect anything to change. You are the creator of the universe and you can do all things. Help me to trust you and to give it all to you. Not leaning on my own strength and understanding, but yours and yours alone. Speak to me with that still, small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. Lead me through this and whatever else you know lies in my path. May you receive the glory and honor forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen."
I'm not sure what the deal was. Interestingly, it all started when I had to get up 3 times to pee last night. And by pee, I don't mean dribble, dribble. Nope, I had to go. So it wasn't like a prostate thing, like you see on the TV commercials. Rather, it was as if someone had slipped me a diuretic before bedtime; I had to go and go badly.
Finally, around 6:15 am, I woke up and turned to my side to sleep as I described above, left leg straight, right leg in the fetal position. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had this pinching, almost burning pain in my right testicle, on the back side. This is where your epididymous is located. I felt down there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I hadn't smashed my testicle or anything like that. There was plenty of room for maneuvering down there. So I straightened out my right leg and the pain disappeared.
I reconnoitered and brought my right leg up again, and sure enough, the pinching pain returned. I repeated this about 5 times, with the same result. With every fetal curl, my right testicle would feel like someone was burying a needle into it, about an inch deep. I tried to just toughen it out, but eventually had to relent, too much pain.
I rolled back over to my back and laid there. No snoozing for me this morning. I stayed awake the remainder of the morning until I got up. I noticed I was a little sore down there during breakfast, so I took 1 Tylenol, just in case it wouldn't go away.
It's pain like that which causes my anxiety level to increase. Random pains down there which seem positional in nature, make me think that anatomically, something is not quite right post vasectomy reversal. I really wish I had a video tape of my reversal.
But more likely, there is probably just some scar tissue down there that is rubbing against something or pinching something it shouldn't. When I think about this, I start to get fanciful ideas about having another surgery to "clean up" the area, kind of like when an athlete gets their knee cleaned out. But I don't dare have another surgery down there, if I can help it.
This is the roller coaster thinking you do when you have PVPS. Your mind play out numerous scenarios back and forth with a slew of "would of", "could of", and "should of" 's. Very tiring thinking and frustrating.
I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa. She talks about trusting in God for all things and then expecting him to come through in the clutch. I think that's where I struggle, the "expecting him to come through" part. But I think this is part of the master's plan for my spiritual growth. Or rather, not part of his initial plan, but since it's happened, he'll use it to that end.
So I guess it's back to just trusting God through all of this. Not letting myself get on that emotional roller coaster.
"Lord, please help me to trust in you. To expect that you'll help me. To absolutely count on it. You've done it before, with my marriage, my family, my career, etc. So why should I expect anything to change. You are the creator of the universe and you can do all things. Help me to trust you and to give it all to you. Not leaning on my own strength and understanding, but yours and yours alone. Speak to me with that still, small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. Lead me through this and whatever else you know lies in my path. May you receive the glory and honor forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen."
Monday, October 22, 2012
Colder Weather Returns
I forgot how much colder it is up here in the pacific NW. But I am adjusting without too much difficulty. I was concerned the cold weather might affect my boys a little bit (boys being a euphemism, not my children). When it's colder, they tend to hug the body a little bit more. Sometimes, the cramped conditions can spur on some racking paid, especially on that left side.
But so far so good. No problems yet with that. However, I still can't bring myself to wear tight fitting trousers. I do have a pair of tighter jeans and the last time I wore them, I must have accidentally racked myself at least two times. So I try to stick with looser slacks, kacki's or sweat pants.
One thing I've learned, once you have PVPS or probably any type of testicular pain, you don't want to crowd them too much.
My pain lately has been improved, since my "Indian-style" sitting mishap. I had a slight twinge of racking pain Saturday morning, but a day of hiking cured that. Like I've said throughout this experience, walking seems to help. Probably a blood flow thing or a nerve entrapment thing. Regardless, walking is good...at least for me it is good.
Interestingly, my lower back has hurt more than anything else lately. Sometimes there seems to be a connection between back pain and PVPS pain. I've heard some guys on the forum relate some type of vague connection. But my PVPS hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, despite the lower back aches.
We're going to join some kind of a gym up here today. In case it gets too cold to get activity outdoors, I'll have some place inside to turn to. They have a gymnasium and the usual treadmills, etc. I'm hoping to mix it up a little bit instead of just getting on the treadmill. We'll see.
But so far so good. No problems yet with that. However, I still can't bring myself to wear tight fitting trousers. I do have a pair of tighter jeans and the last time I wore them, I must have accidentally racked myself at least two times. So I try to stick with looser slacks, kacki's or sweat pants.
One thing I've learned, once you have PVPS or probably any type of testicular pain, you don't want to crowd them too much.
My pain lately has been improved, since my "Indian-style" sitting mishap. I had a slight twinge of racking pain Saturday morning, but a day of hiking cured that. Like I've said throughout this experience, walking seems to help. Probably a blood flow thing or a nerve entrapment thing. Regardless, walking is good...at least for me it is good.
Interestingly, my lower back has hurt more than anything else lately. Sometimes there seems to be a connection between back pain and PVPS pain. I've heard some guys on the forum relate some type of vague connection. But my PVPS hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, despite the lower back aches.
We're going to join some kind of a gym up here today. In case it gets too cold to get activity outdoors, I'll have some place inside to turn to. They have a gymnasium and the usual treadmills, etc. I'm hoping to mix it up a little bit instead of just getting on the treadmill. We'll see.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sudden Pain in Left Testicle and Needing a Prayer
Last night when I went to bed, I had a burning like pain inside my left testicle. I changed sleeping positions and the pain eventually went away. This morning, my left testicle had a pretty good little itch toward the back of it. After a little scratch here and there, it was fine.
Then today, several hours after the itch/scratch, I had this terrible pain on my left side. I wasn't doing anything but just standing. No heavy physical activity, just standing. It felt like pliars were twisting something in my left groin, between my left testicle and my inguinal area. The pain came on suddenly and was extremely painful. This, after several weeks of hardly any pain at all. I tried everything to make the pain go away. I sat on the commode and let the boys hang, hoping that might help. I tried cupping them in my hands, thinking that a little support might be helpful. Then I "shook" my inguinal area on the left, why, I don't really know, it just seemed like something to do. Well, that seemed to help, as the pain then disappeared.
All told, the pain lasted about 20 minutes and I'd rate it at about a 5 or 6 on a 1-10 pain scale. This is particularly upsetting given the lack of pain I've had for the last several weeks. Add to this, the fact that I'll be driving a Pensky truck half way across the country tomorrow. I'm not real excited about the prospects of being pain free during the drive. Hopefully, my buddy will be able to drive a lot for me.
Although the pain is gone, the remnant ache remains. I'll probably get some ibuprofen at dinner time in hopes of calming it down. We'll see.
Anyway, that's my tale. I felt like I was really getting better until about a few hours ago. But, I guess I should look at it with a "cup is half full" mentality, rather than my usual negative way. I just pray the reversal worked and these pains are just random things, rather than a symptom of something going wrong.
Lord, Please continue to be with me as I travel across country. Give me a safe trip and keep me from having nerve pain. I pray for your continued mercy and your favor as I drive. You know it won't be comfortable for me and you know the chance of pain is pretty high, but please give me peace and pain-free days. Lord, I can't get there without you. I need you everyday to help me and to comfort me and to heal me.
I pray you'll be merciful and send your comforter to be with me. May your Holy Spirit rest upon me and give me a good trip to Washington. Please Lord, I need you so much - more and more with each passing day. May you be glorified by our move and may people know of your grace.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Then today, several hours after the itch/scratch, I had this terrible pain on my left side. I wasn't doing anything but just standing. No heavy physical activity, just standing. It felt like pliars were twisting something in my left groin, between my left testicle and my inguinal area. The pain came on suddenly and was extremely painful. This, after several weeks of hardly any pain at all. I tried everything to make the pain go away. I sat on the commode and let the boys hang, hoping that might help. I tried cupping them in my hands, thinking that a little support might be helpful. Then I "shook" my inguinal area on the left, why, I don't really know, it just seemed like something to do. Well, that seemed to help, as the pain then disappeared.
All told, the pain lasted about 20 minutes and I'd rate it at about a 5 or 6 on a 1-10 pain scale. This is particularly upsetting given the lack of pain I've had for the last several weeks. Add to this, the fact that I'll be driving a Pensky truck half way across the country tomorrow. I'm not real excited about the prospects of being pain free during the drive. Hopefully, my buddy will be able to drive a lot for me.
Although the pain is gone, the remnant ache remains. I'll probably get some ibuprofen at dinner time in hopes of calming it down. We'll see.
Anyway, that's my tale. I felt like I was really getting better until about a few hours ago. But, I guess I should look at it with a "cup is half full" mentality, rather than my usual negative way. I just pray the reversal worked and these pains are just random things, rather than a symptom of something going wrong.
Lord, Please continue to be with me as I travel across country. Give me a safe trip and keep me from having nerve pain. I pray for your continued mercy and your favor as I drive. You know it won't be comfortable for me and you know the chance of pain is pretty high, but please give me peace and pain-free days. Lord, I can't get there without you. I need you everyday to help me and to comfort me and to heal me.
I pray you'll be merciful and send your comforter to be with me. May your Holy Spirit rest upon me and give me a good trip to Washington. Please Lord, I need you so much - more and more with each passing day. May you be glorified by our move and may people know of your grace.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Left Sided Squeeze
Now that the right side of my scrotum has calmed down, my left side has decided to start its own party. It started a couple days ago, I think I even recorded it in my blog.
Today I had a couple bouts of nerve pain that were pretty intense. They only lasted for a few seconds, thank goodness, but they scared me so much I almost wrecked the car I was driving. Then my left testicle started feeling like it was being slowly squeezed and released, then squeezed again and released. This has been going on all day.
Ugh, I really hate this thing. That's about all I have to say today.
Today I had a couple bouts of nerve pain that were pretty intense. They only lasted for a few seconds, thank goodness, but they scared me so much I almost wrecked the car I was driving. Then my left testicle started feeling like it was being slowly squeezed and released, then squeezed again and released. This has been going on all day.
Ugh, I really hate this thing. That's about all I have to say today.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Take Two Tylenol and Call Me in the Morning
Before I went to bed last night, my left side was continually aching. So I decided to take a couple of tylenol before bedtime. I also had a slight twinge of nerve pain on my right side, but it was very brief. I also did some stretching out before bedtime to see if that would help in some way.
After spending so much time in the car, the stretching felt good. I'm not sure if it helps my testicular pain, but my legs and back felt better afterwards. I woke up this morning and my left side didn't hurt, although, I can "sense" both testicles. What I mean by that is, they don't necessarily hurt, but rather I can tell they're both there.
Now as I type this, I am having a prickly sensation where my scrotum meets my groin on the right side. It feels like pins and needles. Yet another new pain/sensation. It is rather bothersome, like something is biting me down there. So if you needed another reason not to have a vasectomy, here it is - the never ending list of weird pains and sensations in and around your scrotum.
We'll see what this day holds for me. I'm going to go for a little walk around the neighborhood and do some stretching. Hopefully, today will be a good day, Lord willing.
After spending so much time in the car, the stretching felt good. I'm not sure if it helps my testicular pain, but my legs and back felt better afterwards. I woke up this morning and my left side didn't hurt, although, I can "sense" both testicles. What I mean by that is, they don't necessarily hurt, but rather I can tell they're both there.
Now as I type this, I am having a prickly sensation where my scrotum meets my groin on the right side. It feels like pins and needles. Yet another new pain/sensation. It is rather bothersome, like something is biting me down there. So if you needed another reason not to have a vasectomy, here it is - the never ending list of weird pains and sensations in and around your scrotum.
We'll see what this day holds for me. I'm going to go for a little walk around the neighborhood and do some stretching. Hopefully, today will be a good day, Lord willing.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Helpful People on the Forum
Yesterday evening was a better day than Sunday. I had a constant ache on the left side of my scrotum. My left teste structure is once again crescent shaped and it seems like when that happens, it is hurting. It could always be crescent shaped, but this is a very exaggerated shape, almost banana-like. Interestingly, my right side didn't really hurt at all.
Well, I took it easy yesterday - or at least I thought I was. We had some rain the night before which makes it very easy to pull weeds. Simply reach down and pull them out with no straining whatsoever. But I found out that the innocent act of stooping and bending causes testicular pain. I promise, I had no idea that would hurt, but it did. Even without straining. So I stopped at the first sign of pain and came back indoors.
Later in the evening, I spoke to one of the support group wives about our insurance challenges. She was very insightful and gave us some great advice regarding how to appeal the denied claim. I can't express to her and her husband how thankful I am for their input and help. She strongly believes that God works in the lives of us humans, as I do. Perhaps I'll blog about that some time soon, because my faith is such a huge part of this and any other part of my life.
After speaking to her, my wife and I had a very nice conversation about this situation. Anyone close to our situation will tell you this has been hard on my wife. Not because she convinced me to get the vasectomy, but rather, she just hates to see me in pain and there's nothing she can do about it. She feels helpless. She's also concerned that this loss in activity is going to kill me. You see, I also have cardiomyopathy which means my heart is weaker than it should be. I've been taking a med for this for a few years now and my cardiac stress tests all look normal. But since I haven't been able to be active since last August, she's concerned that my heart isn't getting the exercise it should and thus might become weak again.
I do get short of breath with just a little bit of activity, but I keep telling myself that it's more of a function of being out of shape, rather than my heart acting up. I do get chest pains, but I'm not sure those are cardiac related.
Anyway, I think I've decided to get expert advice about my situation. There is a PVPS doctor in Houston, which is only about 5 hours away. I think I'll find out more about him and then have him check me out. I'm just not confident that my uro is experienced enough with my type of syndrome to be any more help.
I really think I need another ultra-sound of my scrotum to check out the change in anatomy and to address the crescent shaped testicle. I also want to discuss options to control the nerve pain, so I can get a little more active, for my heart health. I spoke to my wife and she supports me on this next step. But now, we have to get ready for Tennessee - we leave tomorrow and it's a 12 hour drive (yikes!). That's a lot of sitting!
There won't be much journaling in the next several days until we get back. I pray we have a comfortable and productive trip.
Well, I took it easy yesterday - or at least I thought I was. We had some rain the night before which makes it very easy to pull weeds. Simply reach down and pull them out with no straining whatsoever. But I found out that the innocent act of stooping and bending causes testicular pain. I promise, I had no idea that would hurt, but it did. Even without straining. So I stopped at the first sign of pain and came back indoors.
Later in the evening, I spoke to one of the support group wives about our insurance challenges. She was very insightful and gave us some great advice regarding how to appeal the denied claim. I can't express to her and her husband how thankful I am for their input and help. She strongly believes that God works in the lives of us humans, as I do. Perhaps I'll blog about that some time soon, because my faith is such a huge part of this and any other part of my life.
After speaking to her, my wife and I had a very nice conversation about this situation. Anyone close to our situation will tell you this has been hard on my wife. Not because she convinced me to get the vasectomy, but rather, she just hates to see me in pain and there's nothing she can do about it. She feels helpless. She's also concerned that this loss in activity is going to kill me. You see, I also have cardiomyopathy which means my heart is weaker than it should be. I've been taking a med for this for a few years now and my cardiac stress tests all look normal. But since I haven't been able to be active since last August, she's concerned that my heart isn't getting the exercise it should and thus might become weak again.
I do get short of breath with just a little bit of activity, but I keep telling myself that it's more of a function of being out of shape, rather than my heart acting up. I do get chest pains, but I'm not sure those are cardiac related.
Anyway, I think I've decided to get expert advice about my situation. There is a PVPS doctor in Houston, which is only about 5 hours away. I think I'll find out more about him and then have him check me out. I'm just not confident that my uro is experienced enough with my type of syndrome to be any more help.
I really think I need another ultra-sound of my scrotum to check out the change in anatomy and to address the crescent shaped testicle. I also want to discuss options to control the nerve pain, so I can get a little more active, for my heart health. I spoke to my wife and she supports me on this next step. But now, we have to get ready for Tennessee - we leave tomorrow and it's a 12 hour drive (yikes!). That's a lot of sitting!
There won't be much journaling in the next several days until we get back. I pray we have a comfortable and productive trip.
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