Life...er Rather, Pain Update

Here it is, almost 9 months since I last posted. Hum, so what's been going on you may ask? Well, it's funny you should ask.

My last post had something to do with me returning to the gym and the pain I was having. I have to admit, between working nights and having two kids in school, and buying a new house, I've been fairly busy and the gym was very hit or miss for about 2 months. Then the holidays came, and that was it. No more workouts for me. But I was feeling really good. No pain at all.

I then decided to do some burst aerobic training where you do 4-5 exercises with great intensity for 45 seconds, then rest one minute and repeat until 3-4 cycles are done and you're absolutely exhausted. The exercises  I chose to do were jumping jacks, burpees (push-ups with a jump mixed in), squats (with no weights), lunges, 10 pound kettle-bell shoulder press. Again, I started out very conservatively since I was in the worst shape of my life and I didn't want to kill myself or aggravate the PVPS. All was going well. I had done them for about 2 weeks with no pain (mainly because there was no straining in these exercises, I was taking it real slow).

Then after Christmas, I was putting a box of decorations back in the garage when it happened. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but let me try to describe it. I was carrying a very light box (~5 pounds) into the garage. I stepped down one step into the garage when something exploded in my right inguinal area. It felt like something ripped away from inside of me. The weirder thing was, it felt like a "square shaped patch" of something ripped away, it had a definite shape to the sensation. So I immediately dropped the box to the floor and stumbled back inside to the kitchen table in desperate pain - it literally took my breath away, just terrible.

A few minutes passed and the pain seemed to subside just a bit. I had that pain for the next 3-4 days before it went away. I stopped exercising again - because of the pain. Then a couple weeks later, I turned the wrong way while bending over to pick something up and then WHAM! the pain came back.

This process has now repeated itself too many times to count. I can't say I know exactly what's going on. I did have an inguinal hernia repair when I was like, 23 years old. Perhaps, the mesh has pulled away, or maybe some scar tissue has come loose. I just don't know, and I'm not sure there's a test to tell what's going on, without actually having surgery to take a look inside. 

I don't really want another surgery down there, for fear it will aggravate the PVPS. For all I know, this could be some weird sensation associated with my PVPS. I just don't know.

My wife made a comment to me back when I was 28 years old, she said, "Why don't you ever get sick, you're the healthiest person I know." Back then she had got her second winter cold, meanwhile, I was free and clear and hadn't had a cold in several years. I laughed and told her, I had just always been a very healthy person.

Since then, I ruptured a disc in my back, had a vasectomy, got diagnosed with cardiomyopathy (weak heart), had chronic epidydimitis, had a reversal, suffered from PVPS, and now can't exercise, work-out, or do any heavy lifting around the house.

I'll admit it now, to the world. "I am no longer healthy." There, I've said it. Now maybe things will turn around for me. It just sucks to be unhealthy. My wife hates it, my kids hate it and I hate it.

So now what do I do? Do I get this pain checked out? Do I suffer in silence? I really just don't know what to do next. There are no doctors up here where I live that I trust and I can't really afford to travel back to Dallas and see a doctor down there.

I know I can rely on God to get me through this, that is not the question I'm asking. Rather, it's the logistics of it all. How will it work out? Am I doomed to be one of those guys that looks healthy on the outside, but I've got a handicap sticker for my car because I can barely move without being in pain all the time? Just continued frustration over how things have turned out these last ten years. This is not how I envisioned life, to say the least.

On my knees I go, praying to the one who can make it all better and work out the details for me.  

It seems like when I try to work things it, they just fall apart. So I'm relying on you God, yet again to help me. I'm sorry I can't do it on my own, and I know, I know...you don't want me to do it on my own, but I just hate to bother you with this kind of stuff. It's very embarrassing and hits me at my core, my pride. Please forgive me for feeling this way. Guide me and lead me I pray. Amen.

Unexpected Source of Pain

So I cruised through the summer and almost, I said, "almost" forgot I even had PVPS. I would get a few reminders from time to time, but this was by far my best 3 months since my reversal. With that being said, I did what any other normal guy would do when they're feeling better, I became more active. I returned to the gym 2-3 weeks ago and started slow and easy. The treadmill and recumbent stationary bike were the two pieces of equipment I used for cardio. That was it, just these two. No weights, no long endurance routines, just simple low intensity cardio.

I spent all of about 5 minutes on the bike for a warm up and then crawled my way to a 35 minute treadmill workout at a very slow mph. It felt good to get up and move again. I really felt reinvigorated. The next day, I did notice a little inguinal ache on my right side, but didn't think much about it. Then I noticed the ache didn't go away, but continued into the next day.No big deal I thought. Probably just a random thing.

Two days later, back to the gym for a repeat of the previous workout. I had the same ache the next two days. Then I took 3-4 days off because of work and a busy life before returning to the gym. During that 3-4 days, I began to feel good again - no pain! This time I ramped up the warm up and the mph on the treadmill. The next day, I was in even more discomfort and pain which lasted a full two days. Well, I guess you can see where I'm going with this.

It appears that when I do my rather pedestrian cardio workout at the gym, my PVPS gets aggravated. This really surprises me because I've heard other guys say that working out helps them. Increases blood supply and all that.

I suppose I have a choice to make. Do I keep working out in spite of the pain or just try to push through; maybe incorporate some light stretching to see if that helps. I believe I'll opt for that last option. Part of the challenge with PVPS is loosing the feeling of normalcy and riding the roller-coaster of pain and frustration. Veering away from activities you normally love to do because the pain is too much or the threat of pain is too daunting.

My mindset is going to need a shift as I try to move forward. I believe I'll tell myself the pain I'm experiencing is just 'normal' muscle pain that everyone gets after they work out, you know, from the build up on lactic acid. For all I know, that could be exactly what is happening in my inguinal region. So with this potential excuse to return to the sidelines banished from my thinking, I will return to the treadmill and suffer through the normal consequences of a workout, pain.

Consistent Workouts

I've said this before, but exercise workouts help my PVPS. Whether it's walking, hiking or some type of aerobic activity, it just makes everything feel better. My thoughts are there is an increase in blood flow to the affected area, which helps in some way. Not sure how, but that's just my working theory.

I got on the treadmill yesterday and noticed very little pain in the afternoon and evening. This morning, I have had a little twinge, but only after sitting on rock hard bleachers while my son went to basketball try-outs. Once I got walking around, the pain went away.

You'd think that knowing this would cause me to walk or exercise all the time. But human nature being what it is, means that I do what I don't want to do, and don't do what I should do. I think Paul says that same thing in the bible. Anyway, there are none truer words for me than those.

I'm hoping that junior basketball for my son and the normal daily activities of life will begin an uptick in activity for me. I'll probably help out at practices and games, which means I won't want to embarrass myself by having jello legs on the court.

I suppose I have no choice now, walking and running, seem to be in my immediate future, and that can only help calm my vasectomy side effects.

Depression and Testicular Pain

I think anyone suffering from chronic pain struggle with depression. Especially when everyone else seems to be doing so well. The "why me" syndrome begins to play itself out. But you can't let it get you down. You can't let your circumstances dictate your mood. Granted, this is easier said than done. I've been there.

I have had my personal bouts with depression, and frustration has so completely overwhelmed my abilities to cope at times that I really wondered what type of future I'd have. But then I remember "to count all things as joy". This is a difficult concept, joy. It doesn't mean you're happy. It doesn't mean life is going great. Rather, it means you have to remember to put it all in perspective.

Pain cannot be at the top of the pyramid of important things in your life. For me, my savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, holds that place. He then helps me put things in an order that makes sense and helps me to keep my sanity. So I can still have joy, despite having a bad pain day.

Now I'm sure this will get put to the test in many other ways in my life, kind of like Job in the Bible. He had many reasons to take God off the top spot and replace it with pain. But the Lord reminded him of his place in the universe.

Today, I heard that we must be humble (Latin: humus) . To illustrate the point, the speaker ate some humus or 'dirt'. He said, you can't get much lower than dirt. I think having this perspective of our place in God's universe, actually helps us handle adversity. Those people who buy into the commercialism of "deserving the best" likely struggle the most with this idea. But as we all know, the universe does not revolve around us. There are lots of people in pain in the world, why should my response to the pain be anything other than humility.

So when I'm feeling bad, which happens a lot with PVPS, I just remember my place in God's universe. I am one of his children and so grateful for anything he gives me. If I have pain, than I have pain. But my joy is created from a sense of thankfulness and stays with me whether I have racking pains or knifing nerve pains or whatever.

Last night was a good night. Still wearing the athletic supporter (going on over a week now). Still exercising and trying to eat better. Something that may or may not be significant, if I eat a lot of sugar (chocolate, candy, ice cream, etc.) I notice an uptick in my pain. Not sure why, but there it is. I'm also eating walnuts every day. They are loaded with Omega 3's which are supposed to promote healthy nerves. We'll see how this experiment goes. I'll post about it in a few weeks I'm sure.

Again, have a good Thanksgiving holiday and remember why we have this holiday in the first place.

Metabolic Workout

Despite having pain issues, life must continue. Two days ago, I decided to get in some cardio. As you may remember, I have heart disease, so sitting around all day is a bad, bad thing. I've done some walking, but haven't been able to get my heart rate up where it should be.

Enter in the metabolic workout. This is basically a circuit type of workout with very little rest. Needless to say, my heart rate jumped up into the 140's after no time at all. That should tell you what terrible shape I'm in, thank you PVPS.

I wondered how my PVPS would react to this type of high intensity 20 minute workout. Much to my surprise, the racking pain subsided for a few hours immediately afterwards. I can't say I've really noticed that much in the way of additional pain, until this morning.

Today, I now have pretty significant abdominal/inguinal pain. However, I feel it's more related to muscle soreness than anything else. Sadly though, it is right where my normal knifing nerve pain would be, so it does catch me off guards sometimes, before I realize it's muscle pain.

I only did 5 exercises and none of them should have worked my abdominal/inguinal area, which again shows you how bad of shape I'm in. These muscles, even used indirectly, hurt. The exercises I did were...

Seated shoulder press
Jump squats
Front/back runs
Side to side shuffling
Seated bicep curls

I know this doesn't sound like much, but for someone whose greatest activity levels consists of walking for 30-40 minutes once or twice a week, that was a lot. I've heard people on the PVPS forum talk about how working out has helped them with their pain, specifically kettle bells and swimming.

I would like to see if I can repeat their pattern of success, but I know I have to take it slow. Especially if two days ago is any indication - I almost threw up and passed out during that 20 minutes metabolic workout. But I suppose you have to start somewhere. I also got a membership to a gym that has a pool, basketball court and cardio equipment. I am going to employ that in my workouts as well.

Hopefully this muscular pain will pass; because I hope it is, in fact, muscular pain and not something else new to worry about. I'll keep you posted.

Colder Weather Returns

I forgot how much colder it is up here in the pacific NW. But I am adjusting without too much difficulty. I was concerned the cold weather might affect my boys a little bit (boys being a euphemism, not my children). When it's colder, they tend to hug the body a little bit more. Sometimes, the cramped conditions can spur on some racking paid, especially on that left side.

But so far so good. No problems yet with that. However, I still can't bring myself to wear tight fitting trousers. I do have a pair of tighter jeans and the last time I wore them, I must have accidentally racked myself at least two times. So I try to stick with looser slacks, kacki's or sweat pants.

One thing I've learned, once you have PVPS or probably any type of testicular pain, you don't want to crowd them too much.

My pain lately has been improved, since my "Indian-style" sitting mishap. I had a slight twinge of racking pain Saturday morning, but a day of hiking cured that. Like I've said throughout this experience, walking seems to help. Probably a blood flow thing or a nerve entrapment thing. Regardless, walking is good...at least for me it is good.

Interestingly, my lower back has hurt more than anything else lately. Sometimes there seems to be a connection between back pain and PVPS pain. I've heard some guys on the forum relate some type of vague connection. But my PVPS hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, despite the lower back aches.

We're going to join some kind of a gym up here today. In case it gets too cold to get activity outdoors, I'll have some place inside to turn to. They have a gymnasium and the usual treadmills, etc. I'm hoping to mix it up a little bit instead of just getting on the treadmill. We'll see.

One Week of Consistent Exercise

I am closing in on my first week of resistence and treadmill training. I know my exercise is nothing that will turn me into Hans n' Frans from SNL, but everyone has to have their own goals and start from somewhere. I just happen to be starting at the bottom of the fitness barrel.On a good note, I haven't been sore from my workouts, which probably means I'm not really working out. However, a good testing of the waters and balance are the two aims I am trying to achieve at this point. So the fact I'm not sore is probably a good thing. Next week, if all holds and I'm not in terrible nerve pain, I'll probably up my reps or sets. I want to keep the weight the same a I cautiously move forward.

The treadmill has gone well this week. I wear an athletic supporter to make sure there's as little jiggling taking place as possible. I am very methodical in my treadmill approach too. It takes me a good 7-8 minutes to work out of my self-imposed warm up period. I do not want to advance too quickly and suffer a set back. Set backs are not good for my outlook on life. So I may be resembling the tortoise in the famous race with the hare, but I don't really care.

My pain levels have increased slightly during this week of exercise. But it is still manageable, thank God. I believe this is a time in my life when God is teaching me patience, real patience. Not the kind where you get in a hurry behind a slow driver, but rather the kind where you have to be smart and slowly move forward with a game plan or suffer disasterous consequences. I have always been inpatient and wanting things yesterday. So this is a real change for me; a good change I think. Again - thank you God.

As far as describing my pain today, I have an inguinal pulling sensation on my right side. This usually comes with too much sitting. Despite the exercise implementation, I have been overall less active because the weather here has been kind of wet, cold and dreary. Our usual afternoon walks around the neighborhood have been on hold in the last week and I think that is part of my pain uptick. However, I'm sure the exercise isn't helping.

On a side note, I have not been stretching out. It seems that stretching does increase my pain drastically. So I am hoping that doing such light workouts at higher reps will provide some natural and gentle stretching, without me having to bend at the waist, hold for a minute or so, etc.

I am also doing some of those pelvic floor exercises - Kegal I think they're called. I'm not sure if they're helping, but I don't think they're hurting, so I'll continue with them. I have noticed a strengthening of my pelvic floor since I've been doing them. I suppose that's a good thing.

Well, here's hoping you have a blessed weekend. I have a men's bible study tomorrow morning. We're reading the book "Disciple" by Bill Clem. It's a great book and has provided me with a lot of insight. Highly recommend it to anyone who is interested. Then I believe I am meeting with my discipliship mentor. I really see God working in my life since we've moved to our new state. Not that he wasn't before, but perhaps I'm more open to him working in my life since we've moved. I don't think he's changed, but rather it's me.

Maybe some day I'll even be able to tell somebody why I love Jesus so much. I pray that happens because I think people can relate to my story. Anyway, I'll save that for another day. God bless and I pray you have learned something by reading this.

Resistance Exercise Attempt

The last time I lifted weights was probably 7 years ago. Once I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, I was told to avoid the weight room and stick with the treadmill. However, there seems to be a shift in that thinking within the medical community. It seems that a little resistance training isn't as bad for a sick heart as they once thought.

Since I've been having this post reversal nerve pain, I haven't even dared to think about the idea of weight training. It's been hard enough getting to the treadmill, let alone picking up weights. Nerve pain doesn't like a lot of physical activity. In fact, in my case it seems to hate it. But it also hates laying around all day too. Quite a conundrum.

Well, I've employed my wife who is a physical therapist and asked her advice. I feel incredibly deconditioned and think my heart is suffering. I actually told someone that I felt like I was dying. So there you have it. Something has to be done, right? But what?

My wife suggested some very low, trunk stable resistance/lifting exercises here at the house. We have these kettle bells from her workouts and so the idea is to use them with high repetitions. I have now performed a type of chest press, row, curl, overhead stability lift and military press twice in the last three days. My goal is to keep the weight in the 10-15 pound range, but have the reps begin at 12 per set.

I had some pain in my right groin the day after my first exercise day. But I also leaned over to pick up a rock on a beach and felt something pop down there. So I'm not sure if it was the exercise or the bending over that brought on the pain. I took some tylenol and it went away. Last night I performed another session. This morning seems okay so far. Nothing out of the ordinary.

To make things interesting, I had an E.J. this morning. That is my first one in about 4 weeks I believe. Everyone has been sick with this stinking cold thing. I'm still coughing and my wife is still sniffling. So intimacy has been a rarity.

I'll try to get to the treadmill today, since I'm feeling a little bit better (with my cold I mean). My goal is to walk on the treadmill on the one day and use the kettle bells on the next day. Maybe my body will let me continue this pattern for a couple of months! That would be exciting. Just the idea of doing some kind of exercise makes me giddy. I can't wait. I'm also going to try to eat better.

Discipline is something I have rarely had in the kitchen. But having a belly doesn't seem to help my pain. Especially when I sit down and it hangs over my belt and pushes the inguinal tissue down. That can't be good. It may not be bad, but I'm going to think it is to help me with my motivation and discipline.

I hope to continue cautiously, plodding forward without over doing it. I can't afford any setbacks. I hope to see a cardiologist in our new city in the next month or two. I want to get a good report, so that should provide the necessary motivation and discipline too.

I continue to have good days here recently, except for two days ago when I bent over at the beach. I'll be curious to see what happens in the coming weeks. I hope people continue to pray for me like they have. It's great knowing that people are supporting me in that way. I love them all dearly for it and thank God for them in my life. Lord willing, things will continue to stay stable. I pray they do.

Why Won't This Go Away - A Prayer

So I was feeling better, over a goodly period of time...probably a couple of weeks. I thought my blogging about post vasectomy pain syndrome might be coming to a quiet end. Then something happened. I'm not sure what it was, but it has been bad ever since. Last Thursday or Friday, I went to walk on the treadmill as I was feeling better. I only stretched out my hamstrings, which never seems to trigger my scrotal/inguinal pain. But while I was stretching, I decided to do try the pec-deck. I didn't use very much weight, in fact, it was so easy of an exercise, I felt kind of foolish even doing it. I didn't feel anything straining at all.

Well, the next morning, I was feeling a very strange pain in my right inguinal area. Yep, another NEW pain, almost 12 months post reversal. This one hurt like nothing ever else has. The pain was both hurtful and bothersome, because it brought fear with it. Real fear. Like get on your knees and pray to God kind of fear.

I couldn't sleep very well. Every time I would lay on my side, the pain would be to excruciating. Rate it about a 5-6 that, if I didn't return to lay on my back, would have continued to escalate to some number much higher. At 6:30, I got up and sat down on the sofa and tried to adjust the pillows so I was reclining. That seemed to help and I was able to get to sleep. I felt better in the morning, but not by much. The fear was still gripping and the pain was still reminding me it was there. I took some Tylenol, hoping for the best.

Well, now it's Sunday night and the pain is not as intense or frequent, but it is still there. A new twinge to be sure. But there's something about this one that scares me. I've prayed to God about it and I just don't know what to make of it. It almost feels like my mesh (from my 20 year old inguinal surgery) is coming loose or ripping away.

Needless to say, I'm a little shell shocked. I'm trying to forget it and focus on Christmas, reading a new book, praying, etc. But in the back of my mind, I have this fear. Even now as I type, my inguinal area on my left side is starting to feel very similar to the right side from a couple days ago.

I don't think the new exercise had anything to do with the pain. But perhaps I'm walking too fast on the treadmill? Next time I walk, I'm going to try to slow it down a bit. See if that doesn't help. I'm also not going to lift anything heavy or strain or squat. I need to keep moving, keep living, I can't just shut it down, even though that's what my mind is telling me to do. My whole life has been about shutting down when the pain became too intense or the trouble seemed to insurmountable. I know I can't do it this time.

This seems to be the lesson God is trying to teach me lately. "Don't shut down, keep plugging away. Life goes on and I have work for you to do." Now what that work is exactly, I'm still not sure. But I can't just implode, withdraw from the family or my faith. God loves me and my family loves me. I can't let this pain keep me from being available to them. Funny how pain makes you shut down. Yet I see football players play with cracked ribs, sprained knees, etc. and they're just plugging away. What makes them persevere when adversity and pain strikes, while I (and others, I'm sure) simply crater?

God, please help me to have strength. Please give me wisdom and understanding. I've prayed for this pain to go away, and it has gotten better, overall. I praise you for that. Yet, here I am with new pains and new fears. Build my faith and help me to trust you, even when the pain gets extreme. Help my unbelief. Help me to live for you, despite having this thorn in my flesh. I pray your will be done and your name be glorified because of what I'm going through. I know my strength is lacking, I want to succumb to the fear, to withdraw from everything and everyone...to feel sorry for myself. No one would blame me. But help me to put those days behind me. Grant me new life and joy. Fill me with joy I pray. Fill me with zest for life and the ability to cope and move past what I fear I cannot move past. Remove the fear and replace it with joy. Joy in your son, Jesus the christ. My savior and Lord. Thank you God, thank you. Amen

Vasectomy Pain Symptoms Are Puzzling

There's a part in "The Grinch" when the narrator tells us the Grinch "puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore". Vasectomy pain symptoms are a lot like that. They leave you puzzled. You aren't sure why you have them. You aren't sure where they originate from, although you have your suspicions. They always come in different flavors, shapes and sizes.

Yesterday, I have another one to add to the list of pains and sensations. This one, was a take on an oldie, but a goodie - the burning sensation. However, this time, the entire right scrotum was on fire. It lasted for about 1 minute...one of the longest minutes of my life. It hurt, but it wasn't painful - if that makes any sense. Then, I'd get just hints of a burning sensations on the right side during the rest of the day. In fact, I just had one a second ago, while I was typing this. "The power of suggestion", I guess??

I did walk yesterday. It had a little uphill action to it, so my lower back and abdomen had to work a little more to keep me stable. Last night, that area was pretty painful. But it was an exercise-like pain, not a nerve pain, so I was encouraged. It's amazing how just knowing the difference between pain, makes one not seem to hurt as much.

Today, my inguinal areas are hurting a little, off and on. This seems nerve related. I'll go for another walk today (on a more flat surface) and see if that helps. But I still think the bad part of the pain cycle is readying to hit. I hope it doesn't, but like I said yesterday, there's not a whole lot I can do to prevent it.

Steep Hike Was Rough

I just had something clarified yesterday. Walking good, steep hiking bad! Just when I thought my walking program was helping me to get in shape, I had an experience which humbled me quite a bit. My wife and I went fishing yesterday, but couldn't find a private spot, so we decided to go hiking instead. We wanted to take advantage of her day off from work and the weather was gorgeous, mid 60's with lots of sunshine.

We found a trail that had the right distance (2 miles) but was a little steep (20%), er make that a lot steep. We got about 12 minutes into the hike and I was huffing and puffing, my heartrate was somewhere around 120. Meanwhile my wife, who works out all the time, is yawning as we walk up the steep trail. What a contrast. I finally had to tell her, with wounded pride, that I couldn't go up any more and that it was time to turn back.

There were two reasons I needed to turn around. The first was my pitiful physical shape. That is directly related to the pain I've had related to my reversal. I haven't been able to be very (aerobically) active because of my previously described nerve pain. My aerobic threshold is still pretty low, despite the increased activity recently. I can tell I have a long way yet to go. Lord willing, I'll be able to get to the point where I can tolerate these kind of hikes in the future.

The second reason I was struggling on the hike was due to the groin pain I was experiencing with every climbing step. I remember when I started an exercise program in June with my kids, that squats seemed to cause me a lot of nerve pain. Well, picture this climb so steep that every step was like a semi squat. It felt great to use my leg muscles, but my groin was not enjoying itself.

I'm just glad I didn't let my pride get the best of me. I probably could have pushed through and then I'm sure I would have been in tremendous pain today. If this hike had occurred last year, then I know I would have let my pride hang me out to dry. So I think I'm make progress with my pride, thanks to God. He has really been showing me that pride is at the root of so many bad decisions.

So as it turns out, I had just a little left inguinal nerve pain last night when I laid on my left side. Then today, when I sat down, my left inguinal area experienced some more nerve pain. So lesson learned. I'm going to stick to flat surface walking/hiking for the time being. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to get my heart in shape, and by then, perhaps, my inguinal area will be less sensitive to such experiences.

Physical Therapy for Vasectomy Symptoms and Pain

Something has fascinated me about my vasectomy symptoms and pain, would physical therapy help or maybe even a chiropractor? Like, is something out of whack that is causing all this pain? And whatever is out of whack, can it get put back into proper placement. I spoke to a chiropractor friend of mine who said the likelihood of him being able to help me would be fairly remote. He did teach me some acupuncture that helps with pelvic pain in general, but beyond that, he said his hands were tied. I appreciated his honesty.

My wife is a physical therapist. So you might be thinking she may have some tricks up her sleeve to help me out. First of all, she's not one of those kind of physical therapists who work in an outpatient clinic. She's always been a hospital PT, you know, the ones who help patients get out of bed and start moving around. However, since we've moved up here, she has not been working at a hospital - they didn't have any jobs. She did hire on with an outpatient clinic.

Well, long story short, she was talking to one of those well experienced PTs who do a lot of what they call "manual therapy". It's the hands on, myofascial release type of stuff. Most of what they talk about goes completely over my head, and I'm in healthcare. Anyway, this PT had some very interesting manual techniques that she was showing my wife. That got us talking last night about whether PT might help my pelvic pain out. Perhaps there are some techniques that would work.

I know that pelvic floor exercises are supposed to be beneficial for PVPS. But I'm not entirely sure what those are. The next time my wife works with this lady, she's going to ask her some questions about my condition and whether PT would be helpful. So I guess, stay tuned for updates on this later.

Meanwhile, I slept pretty good and only have a little inguinal sensation on both sides if I sit too long. So you should know what that means by now, I need to stop sitting. I've actually set the kitchen timer to go off every 15 minutes. This forces me to get up and move around a bit, without having extended periods of constant sitting. As everyone knows, when you get on the computer, the time just flies, perceptually anyways. The timer has already gone off twice. So I walk around the house, climb the stairs, etc., when the timer goes off. Then I come back to the computer for another 15 minutes. It seems to be working so far. Until I get my laptop, I think I'll keep using this system.

Squats Make the Nerve Pain Worse

I've noticed that certain exercises make the nerve pain come back in spades. Squats is one that causes pain fairly quickly. I'm not sure why, other than perhaps the nerves are some how getting compressed during the maneuver. Walking on the other hand still seems to be a good exercise that I can tolerate fairly well. I went walking last night in the cool weather and didn't really feel any adverse effects.

We are planning on going to the fair today, which should involve a lot of walking. I'm glad we're doing all this activity as I have become very deconditioned as a result of my reversal surgery and subsequent development of the pain syndrome.

Every day I go walking or hiking, I feel like I'm breathing life into my body. It feels really good to be active after almost 9 or 10 months of sitting in the recliner, afraid to do anything.

Sitting still causes discomfort. When I get on the computer for too long, I notice discomfort in my groin and inguinal areas.So I'm trying to limit my consecutive computer time to 1 hour or less. I wish I could stand at the computer, but we don't have the set up for that. Maybe when we get out of this rental and into our permanent house, we'll set the computer up for standing. I may try sitting on one of those exercise balls. I tried that once before, but don't really remember if it helped.

Not much pain today or last night. Just when I did those squats on the total gym machine. But I laid down on my belly for five minutes and the pain went away. I wonder if my old inguinal hernia repair mesh has anything to do with this pain I'm having??? Maybe I'll check that out sometime.

Just Went for a Walk

Okay, I think it's safe to start getting serious about getting off my butt. I just went for a 30 minute walk (athletic supporter on, of course). I was actually short of breath for the first 15 minutes or so. As I was walking, I quickly realized just how bad of shape I had gotten into. No more though. It's time to put up or shut up.

I just chewed out my sister for not exercising and then I realized I hadn't done a blessed thing since last summer. I've let this PVPS thing define me and tell me what to do. The guys on the group seem to have been able to get passed that a little bit better than I have. So, with the Lord's help, I'm going to walk everyday. Probably at night because it's just so stinking hot here in Texas.

My belly is huge, my core is weak, my heart races and I've got to get through all that so I can be better. Exercise keeps the mind sharp too, so here I go. I'm letting the world know what I am planning so I'll have some accountability out there.

My goal is to simply walk 30 minutes everyday for 1 week. Then I'll re-evaluate my pain situation. But hopefully, I'll be able to stick with this program and get back some cardiac health, which I've lost in these last painful 9 months.

So I would appreciate your prayers on this. I haven't ended a posting with a prayer in a while, so here goes.

Lord Jesus, give me strength to exercise. I pray you'll keep me from having anymore pain. Take away the obstacles to my getting healthier and bless my efforts. May they bring glory to your name and be a blessing to others. I do this all because you strengthen and bless me. I can't do this without you. Please be merciful and let me glorify you through this endeavor. Please give healing to those who are sick and in pain, and help them to know it came from you. Draw them to yourself through your son Jesus Christ and let them know you are there for them. May you be glorified and praised by us all. Amen