I always knew in the back of my mind that my vasectomy reversal may not work. If the symptoms I am experiencing and visualizing can be believed, than I believe my epididymitis has returned. I really thought the vasectomy reversal was the answer to my problems, but it has caused way more problems that it solved, especially since it seems to not have solved anything.
So I return to square one, chronic epididymitis. I really don't want any more surgery for fear of making the nerve-like pain worse. But then, what do I do about a chronically inflamed epididymis? I guess I return to the old stand-by's: hot soaking baths, ibuprofen and I suppose steroids if it gets too bad.
The challenge is this, I am not supposed to take a lot of NSAIDs (ibuprofen) because of my cardiomyopathy (heart weakness). So I guess I am to suffer my remaining days with a swollen scrotum - by the way, I'm only 45 years old. Kind of sucks, that's true, but what can you do.
I made the decision to have a vasectomy several years ago and now I have to live with the consequences. I feel like I have grown as a person because of the ordeal I've gone through. I also believe my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is much stronger as well. I just wish I didn't have to continue to suffer. But Jesus gives me the strength to continue and he's there when I cry out asking "why" and seeking "help".
So from someone who is in the medical field and wound up suffering this unimaginable fate, please take a word of advice from me - get the facts before you have a vasectomy; ask yourself why you want the vasectomy (is it just for convenience). :Let's face it, if conventional birth control has worked thus far, then why can't it continue to work in your later years? Just something to think about.
Showing posts with label vasectomy reversal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vasectomy reversal. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Working After Vasectomy Reversal
It has taken over two years since my reversal, but I am now employed! That may not seem like a big deal to most readers of this blog, as it wasn't the reversal which kept me from working, rather our personal choices with regards to our family. However, as a result of those choices, I have been unemployed for these last two years.
I'm not sure I could have been working with these PVPS pains that I had been experiencing since my reversal. Oh, I probably could have gotten by, with pain killers and the like. But I'm guessing it would have made a miserable time even more miserable. My heart goes out to those men who have jobs and various responsibilities that become compromised as a result of PVPS. I've heard many horror stories of men losing jobs because of their PVPS. I'm not sure why I was able to plod through this situation without that added burden. I'll say this, I've never been very thick-skinned. What I mean by that is, I've never been able to handle adversity with much grace. If things got a little overwhelming, and I mean just a 'little', I had a history of cratering. It really has never taken much to throw me off my game, to borrow a sports cliche'. I have always hated that about myself. But as a kid, I never had any adversity - so I guess I never learned the skills necessary to handle it when it came.
I know I get a little preachy, okay, a lot preachy, here sometimes but this is just another example of how the Lord works in my life. I last posted about cycles of pain. How I go through longer periods of relatively little pain followed by brief, short cycles of bothersome pain. I just finished up one of those longer periods without much pain. Interestingly, the brief cycle of bothersome pain, was very brief. In fact, it was only about a day long. Getting up and moving/walking is all it took to overcome it this time. I never even took a Tylenol or ibuprofen. So couple this new development with a job which will have me on my feet quite a bit, seems like a real blessing.
And I think I've grown quite a bit - mentally/spiritually/character - in the last two years. I think the Lord had to deal with me in such a way to show me that I don't have to handle the adversity on my own. I can simply turn it over to him and then trust that he'll take care of me. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. You know, looking to the future, I'm sure I'll have to adjust to a whole new set of pains that will come my way as I suddenly am thrust into the land of the living, but I am confident this job came along at just the right time, because I wasn't prepared for it before.
On a side note, while I was experiencing this past long cycle without much pain, I noticed a change in my wife and my intimacy levels. We were much more frequent in our time together. Kind of the exception for us, but it was great. I really love my wife so much and we, for whatever reason, were able to connect quite a bit. So perhaps the increased activity in the bedroom helped my pain cycle lengthen (in a good way).
I make this point because this is my journal, albeit public as it is. I write to remember, to explain, to help me figure stuff out and maybe, hopefully, to help someone else.
In any event, it looks like I'll be working after my vasectomy reversal. It only took two years.
I'm not sure I could have been working with these PVPS pains that I had been experiencing since my reversal. Oh, I probably could have gotten by, with pain killers and the like. But I'm guessing it would have made a miserable time even more miserable. My heart goes out to those men who have jobs and various responsibilities that become compromised as a result of PVPS. I've heard many horror stories of men losing jobs because of their PVPS. I'm not sure why I was able to plod through this situation without that added burden. I'll say this, I've never been very thick-skinned. What I mean by that is, I've never been able to handle adversity with much grace. If things got a little overwhelming, and I mean just a 'little', I had a history of cratering. It really has never taken much to throw me off my game, to borrow a sports cliche'. I have always hated that about myself. But as a kid, I never had any adversity - so I guess I never learned the skills necessary to handle it when it came.
I know I get a little preachy, okay, a lot preachy, here sometimes but this is just another example of how the Lord works in my life. I last posted about cycles of pain. How I go through longer periods of relatively little pain followed by brief, short cycles of bothersome pain. I just finished up one of those longer periods without much pain. Interestingly, the brief cycle of bothersome pain, was very brief. In fact, it was only about a day long. Getting up and moving/walking is all it took to overcome it this time. I never even took a Tylenol or ibuprofen. So couple this new development with a job which will have me on my feet quite a bit, seems like a real blessing.
And I think I've grown quite a bit - mentally/spiritually/character - in the last two years. I think the Lord had to deal with me in such a way to show me that I don't have to handle the adversity on my own. I can simply turn it over to him and then trust that he'll take care of me. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. You know, looking to the future, I'm sure I'll have to adjust to a whole new set of pains that will come my way as I suddenly am thrust into the land of the living, but I am confident this job came along at just the right time, because I wasn't prepared for it before.
On a side note, while I was experiencing this past long cycle without much pain, I noticed a change in my wife and my intimacy levels. We were much more frequent in our time together. Kind of the exception for us, but it was great. I really love my wife so much and we, for whatever reason, were able to connect quite a bit. So perhaps the increased activity in the bedroom helped my pain cycle lengthen (in a good way).
I make this point because this is my journal, albeit public as it is. I write to remember, to explain, to help me figure stuff out and maybe, hopefully, to help someone else.
In any event, it looks like I'll be working after my vasectomy reversal. It only took two years.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Vas Deferens Pain
I was thinking about pain in the vas deferens, can you actually feel it, is it the vas deferens that actually is hurting, etc. This brought me to an article describing the role of patency in vasectomy reversal for patients suffering from PVPS. Most guys, including me, who undergo a vasectomy reversal are hoping the reconnected plumbing will remove the back-up congestion. Thus, relieving the stress on the epididymis.
An article in the International Journal of Impotence Research in September of 2012 looked at this very issue of patency. The article is entitled, "Efficacy of vasectomy reversal according to patency for the surgical treatment of postvasectomy pain syndrome" by JY Lee, et al in Seoul, Korea.
They isolated 32 patients who underwent a vasectomy reversal for PVPS over a 10 year period. Of the 32 patients, 22 participated in the study. Patency was achieved in 68% of the men or about 15/22. The overall satisfaction with the procedure was scored categorically as follows: (a) cure, (b) improvement, (c) no change, or (d) recurrence.
There was a significant difference in this satisfaction score based on patency; those with patency reported higher satisfaction than those without patency. The authors go on to conclude that patency achievement with vasectomy reversal in PVPS patients has a direct relationship to surgical satisfaction and overall pain reduction.
So the goal for vasectomy reversal for PVPS patients should be the same as those looking to reverse their infertility, patency of sperm.
An article in the International Journal of Impotence Research in September of 2012 looked at this very issue of patency. The article is entitled, "Efficacy of vasectomy reversal according to patency for the surgical treatment of postvasectomy pain syndrome" by JY Lee, et al in Seoul, Korea.
They isolated 32 patients who underwent a vasectomy reversal for PVPS over a 10 year period. Of the 32 patients, 22 participated in the study. Patency was achieved in 68% of the men or about 15/22. The overall satisfaction with the procedure was scored categorically as follows: (a) cure, (b) improvement, (c) no change, or (d) recurrence.
There was a significant difference in this satisfaction score based on patency; those with patency reported higher satisfaction than those without patency. The authors go on to conclude that patency achievement with vasectomy reversal in PVPS patients has a direct relationship to surgical satisfaction and overall pain reduction.
So the goal for vasectomy reversal for PVPS patients should be the same as those looking to reverse their infertility, patency of sperm.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Vasectomy Reversal for Vasectomy Pain
Every once in a while, I will be posting some scientific literature that deals with vasectomy, reversals and/or PVPS. Like I've said before and pointed out in my book, there are just a scattering of articles on this subject, so when I come across one, I will do my best to share it here.
Today's article comes from the prestigious Journal of Urology, Feb. 2012 and is titled Vasectomy reversal provides long-term pain relief for men with the post-vasectomy pain syndrome - by Horovitz, et al out of Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Canada.
The authors start out by making this statement, "The post vasectomy pain syndrome is a rare but serious and debilitating complication of vasectomy." I think it's important to note that this statement of fact comes from an expert in the field of urology from Mount Sinai Hospital and not some anonymous sufferer, posting his experiences on the internet blogosphere.
Dr. Horovitz states very clearly that vasectomy reversal is a surgical choice for men with PVPS after the medical management of the syndrome has failed. The authors recognize, however, the limitations of this claim in the scientific literature, which is the reason for their article. They want to add to the knowledge-base by providing their findings to the urology scientific community.
The article goes on to describe the results of 149 vasectomy reversals performed in a ten year span. Of these 149 surgeries, 23 were done for PVPS. Sadly, only 56% (14) of these men completed a questionnaire to better understand their symptoms and course. This may give us a little bit more insight as to why it is so difficult to get a handle on this syndrome. Men just simply do not want to discuss it.
Here is what the researchers found. Testicular pain occurred on average 19 (+/- 42.5) months after vasectomy and the average age was about 43 years of age. The men suffered pain for about 50 (+/- 34.9) months before having vasectomy reversal. After the reversal procedure, pain improvement was described in 93% of the men, while 50% were completely pain free. There was a 15% recurrence of pain to baseline (2 of the men), however, 79% claimed a durable positive response to the vasectomy reversal.
The results of this study tell us two things. One, PVPS is recognized by the urology establishment as a syndrome associated with vasectomy. Two, reversal is a legitimate, albeit, poorly studied course of action for those suffering from PVPS.
I developed this nerve pain after my reversal. So it is not the slam dunk it may at first seem to appear. More study is obviously warranted. And you know, I'm sure I could undergo some type of "clean-up" surgery to help relieve my pains. But the risk/reward justification isn't quite yet there for me.
As far as my symptoms and pain go, I had a good night last night and this morning all is quiet on the southern front, sort of speak. The ibuprofen I took a couple of nights ago, seems to have helped with whatever racking/nerve pain I was experiencing.
Today's article comes from the prestigious Journal of Urology, Feb. 2012 and is titled Vasectomy reversal provides long-term pain relief for men with the post-vasectomy pain syndrome - by Horovitz, et al out of Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Canada.
The authors start out by making this statement, "The post vasectomy pain syndrome is a rare but serious and debilitating complication of vasectomy." I think it's important to note that this statement of fact comes from an expert in the field of urology from Mount Sinai Hospital and not some anonymous sufferer, posting his experiences on the internet blogosphere.
Dr. Horovitz states very clearly that vasectomy reversal is a surgical choice for men with PVPS after the medical management of the syndrome has failed. The authors recognize, however, the limitations of this claim in the scientific literature, which is the reason for their article. They want to add to the knowledge-base by providing their findings to the urology scientific community.
The article goes on to describe the results of 149 vasectomy reversals performed in a ten year span. Of these 149 surgeries, 23 were done for PVPS. Sadly, only 56% (14) of these men completed a questionnaire to better understand their symptoms and course. This may give us a little bit more insight as to why it is so difficult to get a handle on this syndrome. Men just simply do not want to discuss it.
Here is what the researchers found. Testicular pain occurred on average 19 (+/- 42.5) months after vasectomy and the average age was about 43 years of age. The men suffered pain for about 50 (+/- 34.9) months before having vasectomy reversal. After the reversal procedure, pain improvement was described in 93% of the men, while 50% were completely pain free. There was a 15% recurrence of pain to baseline (2 of the men), however, 79% claimed a durable positive response to the vasectomy reversal.
The results of this study tell us two things. One, PVPS is recognized by the urology establishment as a syndrome associated with vasectomy. Two, reversal is a legitimate, albeit, poorly studied course of action for those suffering from PVPS.
I developed this nerve pain after my reversal. So it is not the slam dunk it may at first seem to appear. More study is obviously warranted. And you know, I'm sure I could undergo some type of "clean-up" surgery to help relieve my pains. But the risk/reward justification isn't quite yet there for me.
As far as my symptoms and pain go, I had a good night last night and this morning all is quiet on the southern front, sort of speak. The ibuprofen I took a couple of nights ago, seems to have helped with whatever racking/nerve pain I was experiencing.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Physical Changes After Vasectomy Reversal
It's almost been two years since my vasectomy reversal surgery. It just kind of dawned on me a few moments ago that I have some noticeable physical changes to my boys down there. When I first had my reversal, I noticed my epididymous was still a little swollen. Although nothing like it had been for the previous three months prior to my reversal. However, as of today, it is still a little swollen. I guess that swelling will never go down. It used to scare me because I'd look down there and wonder if my epididymitis was returning.
On my left side, there was this "horizontal line" indentation going straight across my testicle. I never really knew what it was. Strange, but it really is a perfectly straight horizontal line. I'm not sure what my reversal doc did inside there to make the skin kind of fold like that, but it certainly isn't natural. Again, it is still there to this day.
So there are two weird physical changes that are still present almost two years after the surgery. So if you have a reversal surgery, don't be surprised if your boys physically look different from that day forward.
My wife and I had some intimate times and all seems well. No pain to speak of, except for a mild inguinal ache on the right side, that is hardly noticeable. But that could be due to me spending so much time sitting, on-line at my computer trying to put the finishing touches on my book publishing (see link on tab above). I sent my book to a guy at the forum and so far he likes it. I hope lots of people will take a look at it before they decide to have a vasectomy.
On my left side, there was this "horizontal line" indentation going straight across my testicle. I never really knew what it was. Strange, but it really is a perfectly straight horizontal line. I'm not sure what my reversal doc did inside there to make the skin kind of fold like that, but it certainly isn't natural. Again, it is still there to this day.
So there are two weird physical changes that are still present almost two years after the surgery. So if you have a reversal surgery, don't be surprised if your boys physically look different from that day forward.
My wife and I had some intimate times and all seems well. No pain to speak of, except for a mild inguinal ache on the right side, that is hardly noticeable. But that could be due to me spending so much time sitting, on-line at my computer trying to put the finishing touches on my book publishing (see link on tab above). I sent my book to a guy at the forum and so far he likes it. I hope lots of people will take a look at it before they decide to have a vasectomy.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Vasectomy Reversal is No Day at the Beach
Yesterday was really like a day at the beach for two reasons. 1) I didn't have any pain to speak of and, 2) we were really at a beach. The day started out pretty good. I did have a full feeling on the left side of my scrotum which never really materialized into anything. Around lunch time I started to get these little intermittent headaches above my right eyebrow. I took some tylenol for it.
So the lack of pain, probably had something to do with the tylenol I took. Hey, I'm okay with that after the last week or so of more intense sensations and pain. Today is Sunday and we're about to go to church. Luckily, their chairs are nice and comfy which helps quite a bit. Although yesterday was a relatively good day for me regarding my post vasectomy reversal pains and symptoms, my reversal has been anything but a day at the beach.
I read on the forum where someone had a vasectomy reversal about one year ago and they didn't really feel any better. Another person replied with some facts. Apparently vasectomy reversals are about 75% effective in PVPS men. That leaves 25% of us in the other category. My one year vasectomy reversal anniversary comes up in December. I am hopeful that I'll be able to report better progress from my reversal at 1 year than this other gentleman.
So the lack of pain, probably had something to do with the tylenol I took. Hey, I'm okay with that after the last week or so of more intense sensations and pain. Today is Sunday and we're about to go to church. Luckily, their chairs are nice and comfy which helps quite a bit. Although yesterday was a relatively good day for me regarding my post vasectomy reversal pains and symptoms, my reversal has been anything but a day at the beach.
I read on the forum where someone had a vasectomy reversal about one year ago and they didn't really feel any better. Another person replied with some facts. Apparently vasectomy reversals are about 75% effective in PVPS men. That leaves 25% of us in the other category. My one year vasectomy reversal anniversary comes up in December. I am hopeful that I'll be able to report better progress from my reversal at 1 year than this other gentleman.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Pain After Vasectomy Reversal
I wanted to take the time to reiterate the difference between post vasectomy pain syndrome and post vasectomy reversal pain syndrome. Basically, the symptoms are not different. The actual physiological causes are probably not different. It's the primary surgery which causes the pain that is different. In my case, I only had epididymitis after my vasectomy. The actual pain didn't come along until after my reversal last December.
I say this because I say that I have PVPS in my postings. I don't really consider the pain I have any different than those who started off with pain after their vasectomy.
I guess the point is, anytime a doctor does surgery on your boys down there, you run the risk of pain. There are just a ton of nerves down there and so the surgeon has to be careful during the procedure. This is why many with pain are so hesitant to have further surgery down there. It's not because of the cost, although, that certainly plays a role. Instead, the idea of potentially further injuring your testicles is what keeps many from exploring surgical options. It is also difficult to predict success from surgery which also keeps sufferers from exploring the invasive solutions.
So do everyone a favor, including yourself. Just don't have the surgery in the first place. Condoms are kind of clumsy, but nobody ever got put on disability because of them.
Today, I have almost no pain. Just the rare "full" feeling on the right side. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.
I say this because I say that I have PVPS in my postings. I don't really consider the pain I have any different than those who started off with pain after their vasectomy.
I guess the point is, anytime a doctor does surgery on your boys down there, you run the risk of pain. There are just a ton of nerves down there and so the surgeon has to be careful during the procedure. This is why many with pain are so hesitant to have further surgery down there. It's not because of the cost, although, that certainly plays a role. Instead, the idea of potentially further injuring your testicles is what keeps many from exploring surgical options. It is also difficult to predict success from surgery which also keeps sufferers from exploring the invasive solutions.
So do everyone a favor, including yourself. Just don't have the surgery in the first place. Condoms are kind of clumsy, but nobody ever got put on disability because of them.
Today, I have almost no pain. Just the rare "full" feeling on the right side. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Cycles of Emotion with Post Vasectomy Pain
This syndrome is not unlike any other in that there are cycles. Cycles of pain, cycles of regret, cycles of self-pity, etc. I'm in a bad cycle right now. The pain has been very annoying and I'm not getting a lot of rest from it. I wake up feeling good. Then, within 10 minutes, I start having any number of 30 or 40 different pains and sensations and various locations in and around my scrotal/pelvic area.
Because of this, my emotional state has been pretty unstable. It finally came to a head yesterday as I sat here and cried to my wife because I felt the syndrome was just overwhelming me. There never seems to be a long, rest from the pain/sensations/etc. I have now had my 6 month anniversary since my reversal and I have to say, I might be worse off after my reversal than I was before my reversal.
I still hope that will change. I haven't had epididymitis since my reversal, but all these nerve pains are far worse than what I was experiencing before. At least I could be active without feeling the threat of constant pain.
Post vasectomy pain or in my case, post vasectomy reversal pain just plain sucks. Which brings up the whole cycle of regret again. I just can't tell you how horrible of a decision it was to have my vasectomy. Ughhh!!! I hate how my life has turned out.
Lord God, please don't forsake me as I cry out to you. Please give me strength and a season of freedom from this pain and anguish that I'm in. Allow me to be the active dad I long to be with my kids. Please don't turn away from my cries for mercy and relief. Help me please. You're the only one who can. In Jesus name, amen.
Because of this, my emotional state has been pretty unstable. It finally came to a head yesterday as I sat here and cried to my wife because I felt the syndrome was just overwhelming me. There never seems to be a long, rest from the pain/sensations/etc. I have now had my 6 month anniversary since my reversal and I have to say, I might be worse off after my reversal than I was before my reversal.
I still hope that will change. I haven't had epididymitis since my reversal, but all these nerve pains are far worse than what I was experiencing before. At least I could be active without feeling the threat of constant pain.
Post vasectomy pain or in my case, post vasectomy reversal pain just plain sucks. Which brings up the whole cycle of regret again. I just can't tell you how horrible of a decision it was to have my vasectomy. Ughhh!!! I hate how my life has turned out.
Lord God, please don't forsake me as I cry out to you. Please give me strength and a season of freedom from this pain and anguish that I'm in. Allow me to be the active dad I long to be with my kids. Please don't turn away from my cries for mercy and relief. Help me please. You're the only one who can. In Jesus name, amen.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Fear and Faith
The last 24 hours have been an emotional roller-coaster. I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good. That is until I stood up, looked downward or bent over. The pain wasn't as bad on my right side as the horrible experience, but I could tell that I'd been through something unpleasant. I got dressed and put on an athletic supporter at my wife's suggestion. I then drove 45 minutes to pick up my kids from their aunt's house.
The drive was okay. While I was at my sister's house, my right side would intermittently hurt in flashes of pain. Again, nothing like the terrible pain I had the night before. I stayed there about 3 hours before driving home. No problems on the drive home.
When I got home, I started feeling pretty good. I didn't dare do anything though, for fear of hurting myself. I eventually started dinner and we all had a decent evening together. But I needed to go to Lowes to look at their carpet. I removed the athletic supporter and drove to Lowes. By the time I came home, I was in pain on the right side, probably a level 3. I put the supporter back on again, took another hydrocodone and the pain subsided. I went to bed without the supporter and this morning has been like yesterday morning. As long as I have the supporter on, the pain isn't as bad (level 1).
I can walk and sit without too much discomfort. I'm really getting tired of this PVPS. I don't know how people with chronic pain survive over the long haul. I know God will get me through this, but I'm tired of always being the person who has something bad happen. In my early 30's I developed lower back problems. In my late 30's I developed heart failure and had my vasectomy/epididymitis problems. In my early 40's I'm now having nerve pain issues from my reversal. During all the time, my mother was dying from Alzheimers and my dad died from a heart attack, while caring for my mom.
I think I'm ready for a season of good stuff. Will it ever happen? Am I destined to be in pain my whole life? I hope not. I think God can still use me, despite all the bad stuff that has happened to me. You'd think I would be angry at Him for all the bad stuff I've had to deal with, but I'm not. I get angry at myself sometimes and it spills over into my prayer time with God. But it's more like me complaining about my decisions and why I can't get out of my own way, not because of anything He's done. If I had a "redo button" I'd make lots of different decisions. Number one on that list would have been never having the vasectomy.
I can't even imagine how different a person I would be right now if I had just said "NO" to the idea of a vasectomy. But sadly, I can't cry over that spilt milk. I just have to keep plowing forward, despite the regret I feel. If it means I have to wear a jock strap the rest of my life, then so be it. If it means I have to take a pill to handle the pain, then so be it. I can't change how the dice come up. It is what it is. I just have to trust God to get me through it. It would be easier to blame him and I know that's what many who read this blog might think. But I can't do that. He's too good. He doesn't want this bad stuff to happen to me. But we live in a fallen world where bad stuff happens to good people. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but that doesn't change the fact.
I feel like I was supposed to have this reversal. Even though I'm now having nerve pain, I still feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I don't necessarily like it, but it is what it is. Something good will come of it. I just need to stay focused on the Lord and He'll get me through this season. Like I said before, my faith in Jesus is all I have left. If I didn't have that, I'd probably look for an easy way out or I'd turn to addiction or who knows what.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to be pain free. I would love to be a healthy 43 year old husband and dad. But since I'm not, I just have to make the best of it. Everyone suffers, why should I be any different.
The drive was okay. While I was at my sister's house, my right side would intermittently hurt in flashes of pain. Again, nothing like the terrible pain I had the night before. I stayed there about 3 hours before driving home. No problems on the drive home.
When I got home, I started feeling pretty good. I didn't dare do anything though, for fear of hurting myself. I eventually started dinner and we all had a decent evening together. But I needed to go to Lowes to look at their carpet. I removed the athletic supporter and drove to Lowes. By the time I came home, I was in pain on the right side, probably a level 3. I put the supporter back on again, took another hydrocodone and the pain subsided. I went to bed without the supporter and this morning has been like yesterday morning. As long as I have the supporter on, the pain isn't as bad (level 1).
I can walk and sit without too much discomfort. I'm really getting tired of this PVPS. I don't know how people with chronic pain survive over the long haul. I know God will get me through this, but I'm tired of always being the person who has something bad happen. In my early 30's I developed lower back problems. In my late 30's I developed heart failure and had my vasectomy/epididymitis problems. In my early 40's I'm now having nerve pain issues from my reversal. During all the time, my mother was dying from Alzheimers and my dad died from a heart attack, while caring for my mom.
I think I'm ready for a season of good stuff. Will it ever happen? Am I destined to be in pain my whole life? I hope not. I think God can still use me, despite all the bad stuff that has happened to me. You'd think I would be angry at Him for all the bad stuff I've had to deal with, but I'm not. I get angry at myself sometimes and it spills over into my prayer time with God. But it's more like me complaining about my decisions and why I can't get out of my own way, not because of anything He's done. If I had a "redo button" I'd make lots of different decisions. Number one on that list would have been never having the vasectomy.
I can't even imagine how different a person I would be right now if I had just said "NO" to the idea of a vasectomy. But sadly, I can't cry over that spilt milk. I just have to keep plowing forward, despite the regret I feel. If it means I have to wear a jock strap the rest of my life, then so be it. If it means I have to take a pill to handle the pain, then so be it. I can't change how the dice come up. It is what it is. I just have to trust God to get me through it. It would be easier to blame him and I know that's what many who read this blog might think. But I can't do that. He's too good. He doesn't want this bad stuff to happen to me. But we live in a fallen world where bad stuff happens to good people. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but that doesn't change the fact.
I feel like I was supposed to have this reversal. Even though I'm now having nerve pain, I still feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I don't necessarily like it, but it is what it is. Something good will come of it. I just need to stay focused on the Lord and He'll get me through this season. Like I said before, my faith in Jesus is all I have left. If I didn't have that, I'd probably look for an easy way out or I'd turn to addiction or who knows what.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to be pain free. I would love to be a healthy 43 year old husband and dad. But since I'm not, I just have to make the best of it. Everyone suffers, why should I be any different.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Vasectomy Reversal Insurance Coverage
Before I tell everyone what happened with my insurance coverage for my vasectomy reversal, let me tell everyone how I'm feeling first. Last night was a decent night. I can't say I have any complaints about pain. I had various sensations yesterday, but no nerve pain and nothing so serious that it bothered me. I did notice that the sensations I did have on my right side, just below my abdomen, were constant. As a side note, I had 2 E.J.s yesterday. That makes 3 in 24 hours. That probably sets a personal record for me in the last 6 years. I'll be curious to see if that has any impact on my sensations or pain.
Also, I'm not taking the rapaflo anymore. I didn't wake up to pee last night, which is good. Hopefully, I'll feel okay without it, because I really didn't like the way it made me feel, in general. But, if I have to take it, then so be it. I'll keep you posted how I feel without it.
I'm trying to adopt the philosophy that the continuous pains I have are like when you work out too hard and have that lactic acid build up. So, if I can just trick myself into thinking that, then I think it helps me deal with it better. Now that I'm pretty much recovered from my weekend of sod, I'm going to try to get back on the treadmill. Nothing too strenuous, just get back in the habit of going to the gym and getting on the treadmill.
Okay, now about the insurance. Before I had my vasectomy reversal, I called the insurance to see if they'd cover the procedure based on medical necessity. After checking with them a total of 4 times before my reversal, I was given the clear impression that it would be covered based on medical necessity. One month after my reversal, they denied the claim. Many phone calls later I found out that the pre-reversal letter of eligibility and all the info the representatives told me was given to me in error. They told me there was nothing that could be done and I would have to appeal our employer to see if they'd cover the procedure.
I was somewhat confused, but mostly furious that they would tell me it was eligible beforehand, and then say it isn't eligible afterward. Well, for whatever reason, the insurance company called me yesterday and said they had changed their mind. They would, in fact, cover my reversal as if it were any other surgery allowed by the plan! All I can say is, "Thank you God!". We've been praying for this ever since we first discovered the claims were denied.
Interestingly, this change of mind came after our first appeal with the insurance company - after they told us there was nothing more they could do. But we really feel the Lord's hand was upon this situation. Before I had made my decision to have the reversal, I actually prayed that God would help us through the decision making process and guide us as we pursued a restorative solution to my vasectomy side effects. This is the first, maybe second, time we've really ever just turned something like this over to God, asking Him to help us. Usually, we just make decisions and hope for the best. Not surprisingly, that hasn't worked out very well for us.
We've gone from what amounted to a $50K medical bill to something much more manageable. Now don't ask me why things worked out so well in this area for us when it doesn't for others. But I really think God wants me to let the world know that He's there for them too. I think He just wants people to trust Him. I'm the first to tell anybody that I'm not sure how to do that sometimes. I don't have the answers, but I do feel compelled to write on this journal every day and let people know that Jesus is a huge part of my life. I couln't get through this PVPS thing without Him. Certainly, we wouldn't have been able to get through this insurance thing without Him. Even if they decided not to pay, my wife and I feel like it all would have worked out, some way. Maybe it would have just taken longer or maybe we would have been able to negotiate a lower bill. I don't know what that would have looked like, but the hope would still be there.
I guess this was a little preachy and I apologize for that. But I wanted to share what Jesus is doing in my life. How he's helping me get through this. How there is no other explanation for the insurance changing their minds, after our appeal and after they said there was nothing more they could do for us. It's just remarkable if you think about it. That is why I wanted to share it with whomever might read this journal entry.
Also, I'm not taking the rapaflo anymore. I didn't wake up to pee last night, which is good. Hopefully, I'll feel okay without it, because I really didn't like the way it made me feel, in general. But, if I have to take it, then so be it. I'll keep you posted how I feel without it.
I'm trying to adopt the philosophy that the continuous pains I have are like when you work out too hard and have that lactic acid build up. So, if I can just trick myself into thinking that, then I think it helps me deal with it better. Now that I'm pretty much recovered from my weekend of sod, I'm going to try to get back on the treadmill. Nothing too strenuous, just get back in the habit of going to the gym and getting on the treadmill.
Okay, now about the insurance. Before I had my vasectomy reversal, I called the insurance to see if they'd cover the procedure based on medical necessity. After checking with them a total of 4 times before my reversal, I was given the clear impression that it would be covered based on medical necessity. One month after my reversal, they denied the claim. Many phone calls later I found out that the pre-reversal letter of eligibility and all the info the representatives told me was given to me in error. They told me there was nothing that could be done and I would have to appeal our employer to see if they'd cover the procedure.
I was somewhat confused, but mostly furious that they would tell me it was eligible beforehand, and then say it isn't eligible afterward. Well, for whatever reason, the insurance company called me yesterday and said they had changed their mind. They would, in fact, cover my reversal as if it were any other surgery allowed by the plan! All I can say is, "Thank you God!". We've been praying for this ever since we first discovered the claims were denied.
Interestingly, this change of mind came after our first appeal with the insurance company - after they told us there was nothing more they could do. But we really feel the Lord's hand was upon this situation. Before I had made my decision to have the reversal, I actually prayed that God would help us through the decision making process and guide us as we pursued a restorative solution to my vasectomy side effects. This is the first, maybe second, time we've really ever just turned something like this over to God, asking Him to help us. Usually, we just make decisions and hope for the best. Not surprisingly, that hasn't worked out very well for us.
We've gone from what amounted to a $50K medical bill to something much more manageable. Now don't ask me why things worked out so well in this area for us when it doesn't for others. But I really think God wants me to let the world know that He's there for them too. I think He just wants people to trust Him. I'm the first to tell anybody that I'm not sure how to do that sometimes. I don't have the answers, but I do feel compelled to write on this journal every day and let people know that Jesus is a huge part of my life. I couln't get through this PVPS thing without Him. Certainly, we wouldn't have been able to get through this insurance thing without Him. Even if they decided not to pay, my wife and I feel like it all would have worked out, some way. Maybe it would have just taken longer or maybe we would have been able to negotiate a lower bill. I don't know what that would have looked like, but the hope would still be there.
I guess this was a little preachy and I apologize for that. But I wanted to share what Jesus is doing in my life. How he's helping me get through this. How there is no other explanation for the insurance changing their minds, after our appeal and after they said there was nothing more they could do for us. It's just remarkable if you think about it. That is why I wanted to share it with whomever might read this journal entry.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
4 Month Vasectomy Reversal Anniversary
It's hard to believe it's been 4 months since my reversal surgery. I have to say, I feel better today than I did on my 1, 2, and 3 month anniversay. I hope my 5 month anniversay is even better! Lord willing, Lord willing.
Anyway, I don't get those knifing pains too much anymore. But I still get that racking feeling on my left side. Again, I think it's because of the spermatocele. My right side is still unpredictable. I'll have days where it doesn't hurt, aches just a little, hurts pretty decently or has that sharp knife pain. I'd say it's more in the ache realm more often than not though.
So am I glad I had the reversal. I think it's still too early to say. Give me a couple of years and I'll let you know. I hope the spermatocele goes away on my left side. That's a real bugger. It's basically like having this something extra in your scrotum that doesn't belong.
Today I woke up feeling pretty good. I didn't have any real pain, except for maybe a slight "sensation" on my right side. So I started in on my chores to get the house ready for sale. I sanded some drywall mud in our kitchen and did some painting. Nothing too strenuous. I was even sitting down while I was doing the sanding.
Then it hit me. I started having some sharp right-sided inguinal pain. It was in the same place that I had my hernia repair almost 20 years ago. The pain stayed with me and I figured it wasn't going away, so I took two tylenol. That seemed to do the trick for most of the day. I was able to keep painting (touch up work really, while my wife and mother-in-law did most of the real painting). The pain came back for a second or two on the right side, then went away.
It seems like the tylenol helps with the nerve pain, while the ibuprofen seems to help with the racking pain. I wonder why the difference. Anyway, I've still been stretching out and doing some very light - and I do mean light - abdominal strengthening exercises. Basically, 10 leg lifts while I lay on my back. I've also been trying the pelvic tilts exercises where you lay on your back, raise your hips in the air and tilt your pelvis. Kind of like you're pelvic thrusting the air above you. You see a lot of this exercise in women's aerobics classes. Anyway, I may have to back off on that one. Maybe do only 10-15 tilts, rather than 30.
Easter is tomorrow. We went over Jesus's Resurrection with the kids. They like the story and it reminds me that my little problems are pretty insignificant compared to what Jesus did for me. Helps to have an eternal perspective sometimes. We talk to our kids a lot about how we'll have new bodies in Heaven. The kids are excited because they know I won't have to worry about my "boo-boo area" anymore. It kind of gives me a little peace too.
Anyway, I don't get those knifing pains too much anymore. But I still get that racking feeling on my left side. Again, I think it's because of the spermatocele. My right side is still unpredictable. I'll have days where it doesn't hurt, aches just a little, hurts pretty decently or has that sharp knife pain. I'd say it's more in the ache realm more often than not though.
So am I glad I had the reversal. I think it's still too early to say. Give me a couple of years and I'll let you know. I hope the spermatocele goes away on my left side. That's a real bugger. It's basically like having this something extra in your scrotum that doesn't belong.
Today I woke up feeling pretty good. I didn't have any real pain, except for maybe a slight "sensation" on my right side. So I started in on my chores to get the house ready for sale. I sanded some drywall mud in our kitchen and did some painting. Nothing too strenuous. I was even sitting down while I was doing the sanding.
Then it hit me. I started having some sharp right-sided inguinal pain. It was in the same place that I had my hernia repair almost 20 years ago. The pain stayed with me and I figured it wasn't going away, so I took two tylenol. That seemed to do the trick for most of the day. I was able to keep painting (touch up work really, while my wife and mother-in-law did most of the real painting). The pain came back for a second or two on the right side, then went away.
It seems like the tylenol helps with the nerve pain, while the ibuprofen seems to help with the racking pain. I wonder why the difference. Anyway, I've still been stretching out and doing some very light - and I do mean light - abdominal strengthening exercises. Basically, 10 leg lifts while I lay on my back. I've also been trying the pelvic tilts exercises where you lay on your back, raise your hips in the air and tilt your pelvis. Kind of like you're pelvic thrusting the air above you. You see a lot of this exercise in women's aerobics classes. Anyway, I may have to back off on that one. Maybe do only 10-15 tilts, rather than 30.
Easter is tomorrow. We went over Jesus's Resurrection with the kids. They like the story and it reminds me that my little problems are pretty insignificant compared to what Jesus did for me. Helps to have an eternal perspective sometimes. We talk to our kids a lot about how we'll have new bodies in Heaven. The kids are excited because they know I won't have to worry about my "boo-boo area" anymore. It kind of gives me a little peace too.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Desperate For Relief
Everyday brings a new pain of some sort or at least a twist on an old one. I never even considered I'd have nerve pain after my vasecetomy reversal. Wasn't on my radar at all. Now here I am, post reversal, with nerve pain. It comes and goes throughout the day. It has different levels of intensity. But it's always there.
Last night, my right inguinal area was throbbing. My left inguinal area began to hurt for apparently no reason, other than it felt left out. Then it went away. Then it came back. Then my scrotum started to hurt just a bit, then I had pain radiate into my abdomen. Then my right thigh started to feel tight and then the groin muscles began to hurt like I had done too many lunges or squats.
Everyday, it's like this. A plethera of different pains in different places. I think someone said the mental drain of dealing with pain is just as difficult as the pain itself. I think I over emphasize the pain sometimes because it's always there. I still hope to wake up some day and realize it's been two weeks since I had any pain. When will that day come? I hope soon.
My simple prayer -
Lord, please help me be patient. Please help me to trust you more. Please be merciful and don't turn away from me. Make us well and help other people who hurt. We need you now more than ever. In Jesus name, Amen
Last night, my right inguinal area was throbbing. My left inguinal area began to hurt for apparently no reason, other than it felt left out. Then it went away. Then it came back. Then my scrotum started to hurt just a bit, then I had pain radiate into my abdomen. Then my right thigh started to feel tight and then the groin muscles began to hurt like I had done too many lunges or squats.
Everyday, it's like this. A plethera of different pains in different places. I think someone said the mental drain of dealing with pain is just as difficult as the pain itself. I think I over emphasize the pain sometimes because it's always there. I still hope to wake up some day and realize it's been two weeks since I had any pain. When will that day come? I hope soon.
My simple prayer -
Lord, please help me be patient. Please help me to trust you more. Please be merciful and don't turn away from me. Make us well and help other people who hurt. We need you now more than ever. In Jesus name, Amen
Friday, March 25, 2011
Vasectomy Side Effects and Vasectomy Reversal Surgery
Yesterday brought with it a return of the nerve pain on my right side. I had a good night sleep and this morning I feel only a slight little twinge on the right side. We have some landscaping to do tomorrow and I have a lot of errands to run today (that means lots of car time), so we'll see how I'm doing on Monday.
Someone asked me the question if I was happy that I had the vasectomy reversal surgery. I told them I wasn't sure yet. The new pains are just as worrisome as the pre-surgery symptoms of swelling and pain. My activity levels are still dictated by pain. But I feel better mentally. They say your testosterone levels drop off with vasectomy surgery. My level two years ago was 441, which might be on the low side for someone who is 41 years old.
So perhaps my levels are higher than before my surgery and that is causing my energy to perk up a little bit. I won't know for sure unless I get it tested. Still not sure I'm going to do that yet.
Just remember, before you have that vasectomy, there is a chance you can have horrible nerve pain which can manifest as the following: continuously, when you ejaculate, intermittently, every once in a while and the pain can be anywhere from a dull ache to such intensity, you want to cry all the time. I've heard stories of people who have suffered all the above.
Or you could have epididymitis like I did. That means your epididymous swells and you feel like you have a third testicle. The pain radiates into your stomach region and makes it very uncomfortable. This swelling can be intermittent or continuous. Mine was intermittent and then turned continuous after 5.5 years. It also was one sided and then became bilateral after 5 years.
So, have a vasectomy if you are willing to take the risk. I would say that if you've had a previous pelvic surgery (hernia repair, appendix removal, etc.) or if you have had lower back pain, you definitely don't want to have the vasectomy. Lots of guys in my support group have had these, however, lots haven't. So there may not be a correlation, but nobody knows. That's the problem, it isn't studied in the urology community, despite it being such a devastating syndrome.
Imagine, your pain ranking an 8-9 on a 1-10 pain scale. Imagine, the pain being continuous and you requiring a pain management doctor to help you get through your life. Your activity becomes nothing, your testosterone sinks to low levels, your sex life becomes almost non-existent. And you did all this in the name of birth control. Trust me, if I had to do it over again, I'd never had the vasectomy in the first place. And neither would thousands of men who suffer various degrees of post vasectomy pain syndrome.
Please, don't have it done. I know, thousands of men have it done and nothing happens to them. But if it does happen, your life will be turned upside down and your regret will last a lifetime.
Someone asked me the question if I was happy that I had the vasectomy reversal surgery. I told them I wasn't sure yet. The new pains are just as worrisome as the pre-surgery symptoms of swelling and pain. My activity levels are still dictated by pain. But I feel better mentally. They say your testosterone levels drop off with vasectomy surgery. My level two years ago was 441, which might be on the low side for someone who is 41 years old.
So perhaps my levels are higher than before my surgery and that is causing my energy to perk up a little bit. I won't know for sure unless I get it tested. Still not sure I'm going to do that yet.
Just remember, before you have that vasectomy, there is a chance you can have horrible nerve pain which can manifest as the following: continuously, when you ejaculate, intermittently, every once in a while and the pain can be anywhere from a dull ache to such intensity, you want to cry all the time. I've heard stories of people who have suffered all the above.
Or you could have epididymitis like I did. That means your epididymous swells and you feel like you have a third testicle. The pain radiates into your stomach region and makes it very uncomfortable. This swelling can be intermittent or continuous. Mine was intermittent and then turned continuous after 5.5 years. It also was one sided and then became bilateral after 5 years.
So, have a vasectomy if you are willing to take the risk. I would say that if you've had a previous pelvic surgery (hernia repair, appendix removal, etc.) or if you have had lower back pain, you definitely don't want to have the vasectomy. Lots of guys in my support group have had these, however, lots haven't. So there may not be a correlation, but nobody knows. That's the problem, it isn't studied in the urology community, despite it being such a devastating syndrome.
Imagine, your pain ranking an 8-9 on a 1-10 pain scale. Imagine, the pain being continuous and you requiring a pain management doctor to help you get through your life. Your activity becomes nothing, your testosterone sinks to low levels, your sex life becomes almost non-existent. And you did all this in the name of birth control. Trust me, if I had to do it over again, I'd never had the vasectomy in the first place. And neither would thousands of men who suffer various degrees of post vasectomy pain syndrome.
Please, don't have it done. I know, thousands of men have it done and nothing happens to them. But if it does happen, your life will be turned upside down and your regret will last a lifetime.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Journal Entry
Well, yesterday I thought the epididymitis was going to return to my left side. I took a hot bath, which is what you're supposed to do when you feel the congestion coming on, but I didn't get a lot of relief. However, I didn't experience any swelling, which is the hallmark of epididymitis. So I went to bed and hoped for the best in the morning.
I woke up this morning and felt okay until I returned home from taking the kids to school. My left side started hurting again. I cried out to God hoping he'd hear me. I've been doing that a lot lately. He says to keep asking Him for help, so I keep doing that. I've had some interesting conversations with him lately. I hope He knows I'm not mad at him, but rather, I just want His help and mercy.
Well, I took another hot bath and then had a long nap. I woke up and felt okay. A little twing here and there, but otherwise, so far so good. I haven't had any pain, except now the right side has a little twing.
That's the crazy thing about PVPS. It keeps you guessing. I was told that after my reversal it may take up to a year to start feeling about 98% right. It's hard to keep from getting inpatient though. I just pray that everything will go well.
I really feel like I've done what I was supposed to do, by getting the reversal. But, instead of it being the magic bullet, we always hope it will be, it turns out to be another test of sorts.
By His grace and mercy I hope to get through this. There is really no other option for me at this point.
I woke up this morning and felt okay until I returned home from taking the kids to school. My left side started hurting again. I cried out to God hoping he'd hear me. I've been doing that a lot lately. He says to keep asking Him for help, so I keep doing that. I've had some interesting conversations with him lately. I hope He knows I'm not mad at him, but rather, I just want His help and mercy.
Well, I took another hot bath and then had a long nap. I woke up and felt okay. A little twing here and there, but otherwise, so far so good. I haven't had any pain, except now the right side has a little twing.
That's the crazy thing about PVPS. It keeps you guessing. I was told that after my reversal it may take up to a year to start feeling about 98% right. It's hard to keep from getting inpatient though. I just pray that everything will go well.
I really feel like I've done what I was supposed to do, by getting the reversal. But, instead of it being the magic bullet, we always hope it will be, it turns out to be another test of sorts.
By His grace and mercy I hope to get through this. There is really no other option for me at this point.
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