The Pain Continues

This epididymitis continues on my right side. I've taken a couple of weeks worth of ibuprofen, mixed with some tylenol which has helped the day to day pain. However, I was hoping the swelling would go down a little bit more than it has.

Surprisingly, my wife and I have been intimate a few times since this began. I wasn't sure what would happen if I had an E.J. But, it doesn't appear to have made it worse and perhaps, it has helped a little bit (I'm not really sure, because of all the OTC pain meds I'm taking).

The real problem is when I have a day at work that involves a lot of sitting. Sitting is just a killer for me right now. Then again, so is standing for long periods of time (like when I umpired my son's 2-hr baseball game yesterday).

The pain in my scrotum definitely puts a damper on just about everything in my day. But I think I can tolerate it as long as it doesn't get any worse. Now the likelihood of it not getting worse is pretty slim, I know. But that is my approach now. If other people can live with chronic pain, then so can I. I don't like it, but what are you going to do...it's not like I have a lot of options at this point. More surgery is out of the question and I'm not taking anymore antibiotics or steroids. That just leaves prayer and living with it. Thankfully, Jesus gives me the strength and patience to do that. Again, I don't like this option, but as I said before, my options are pretty few and far between. At least this option has paid dividends and is more reliable than anything I have tried before.

So faith in a loving God and savior, along with my eternal perspective is all I have left. That should be enough for anyone.

Vasectomy Reversal Update - Two Year Anniversary

Merry Christmas to everyone! It has been 2 years since my vasectomy reversal. So I thought I'd provide an update as to where I am these days.

With regards to the inguinal knifing pain. I only get that pain if I have been sitting too long or have been inactive for days at a time. The pain usually registers at a 2-3 on a 1-10 pain scale (10 being intolerable). This pain is mostly bothersome, but rarely so painful that it prohibits me from doing anything. Tylenol seems to address this pain rather well.

What about the congestive or full feeling on my right side. It is hard to distinguish this pain from the knifing pain, since the knifing pain has dulled in the last year. However, the congestive pain seems more centered in my scrotum and radiates out into my inguinal area. Frequency of ejaculations (e.j.) seems to regulate this pain. It seems that if I have at least 2 e.j.'s per week, the pain doesn't ever bother me. I visualize my epididymis emptying regularly, and therefore, not allowing any build up of pressure, which causes the full sensation.  

Interestingly, if my wife and I talk about plans to be intimate during the day only to have those plans fall through, I experience a significant up swell in pain. It doesn't feel like 'blue balls', but it is certainly a similar phenomenon. The knifing inguinal and congestive pain will both be present. It's like the anticipation of excitement does something at the physiologic level, which then creates the pain scenario.

The racking pain on my left side will come and go for the same reasons listed above, sitting and inactivity. Although, jumping (like when playing basketball) and lifting something over 15 pounds will cause this sensation to rear its ugly head. It king of feels like something is pushing into my scrotum, like a hernia maybe? However, I have had this checked and apparently I do not have a hernia. This pain registers the same 2-3 on a pain scale. Tylenol doesn't affect it though, only ibuprofen works.

Random burning sensations. These still come and go at random and are independent of any activity, as far as I can tell. I will get these in all areas of my nether region, from my scrotum, "johnson", inguinal area, etc. These are a little un-nerving, because they feel so weird. They range from sharp pains to burning, to spasm-like sensations to twinges. The pain can be anywhere from a 1-5 and don't really respond to pain medicine with just one exception. The johnson pain does respond to tylenol.

I find that lifestyle really makes a difference. The more active I am, the better. The more my mind is distracted, the better. As long as I remember my coping techniques and try not to behave like a 20-30 year old, I'm okay.

Independent of anything I've listed above, there does seem to be a cycle of pain. When the pain first struck, I remember having a few good days followed by a few bad. Then a week or two of good, followed by the same of bad. This cycle has progressively lengthened itself over the last two years. Most recently, I identified a cycle of good times lasting about 2 months, followed by a single bad week of pain. I am currently nearing the end of a two month good spell, so I should probably plan on something changing here pretty soon.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about what helps me. Sure tylenol and ibuprofen are good for the pain. Not sitting for long periods of time is helpful too. But the thing that helps me the most is my God. I'm sure many non-Christians are rolling their eyes at me right now. I would ask that you just hear me out.

Having this PVPS thing happen to me is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Yet, I can see how God has used this to grow me. My outlook and perspective on life has all been sharpened as a result of this stupid syndrome. I would not be the man I am today, if it weren't for my PVPS (and I mean that in the best of ways). My faith is far stronger, my expectation that God will work in my life and the lives of others is higher, and I see how he is using this syndrome to allow me to help others; it's truly been a blessing.

Now it wasn't always like this. In fact, I had a night where I basically yelled to God (not at God) about all the bad stuff that was happening to me (PVPS). From that moment on, my pain lessened dramatically, my ability to cope magnified about 100 fold, my attitude immediately changed from victim to contentment. I'd love to say that it was all me; that I some how mustard-ed up the internal fortitude and changed everything overnight. But it wasn't me. I know the Lord worked something miraculous in my life that night. I'm not going to say he "healed me from Heaven". No, no, that would be a huge leap of faith that not even I could make. Rather, he just seemed to change me somehow.

I had been playing the victim role for so long, and that had to change or I would never be any good to God. I could no longer completely focus on myself, which is exactly what was happening. I was ignoring my wife and two young children; not to mention my community and church.  I know I'm doing a poor job of explaining how the Lord God worked in my life, but read through my blog and you'll get the idea. Maybe some day I'll be able to clearly state it, but right now, I'm just so overjoyed to be where I am and feeling how I feel. I can't help but to praise my Lord and my God - especially as we celebrate the gift of his only son Jesus, who is the Christ, the one who shall save us from our sins.

So on that note, I'll wish you all a Merry Christmas. I hope you find peace and everlasting joy.  

Time with the Wife

A lot of people wonder what it must be like to have this PVPS and then at the same time, be intimate with the wife. There are a lot of guys who have pain when they are in the act of intimacy. I haven't experienced that yet (thank the Lord). I say 'yet', because pains associated with PVPS can come out of nowhere and without warning.

Last night though, I probably had the closest thing to what I just described. When we were done, I began to have this intense sharp pain in the posterior area of my scrotum. It felt like someone sticking a pin in the back of my scrotal sack. It was very peculiar and not at all what I would like to experience again.

The pain level would probably rate a 3 on a 1-10 pain scale. It passed after about 10 minutes. It almost felt like I needed some scrotal support, as gravity did not make it feel any better.

Another point to make about intimacy with your wife is this, ejaculations do seem to help with the inguinal pain symptoms. I think it's because the prostate gets to release and shrink a little in size, and if there is any build up of sperm, it gets a chance to release as well. I have no science on this, just a theory for how it does seem to help with pain. But I know I can't push this too much. For example, if we are very active in a short period of time, I will actually experience more inguinal pain. So there is a certain degree of pacing that I need to practice in this area. It seems a steady pace works better for me (from a pain standpoint). Of course, other guys may and are probably different.

Increased Activity

Let's face it. It can get a little chilly up here in the pacific NW. The enjoyable summer is now a distant memory for locals and a steady stream of rainy and cold days has become what seems like the permanent forecast. But we did have some breaks here and there. We finally got outside and hiked around a bit. It felt great to stretch the legs and get some activity outside the house.

Meanwhile, I had something interesting happen after my wife and I shared some intimate time. I began having pain in my "you know what". It started a few hours afterward. Thank goodness it didn't occur while we were together. I hear from some men who experience that. I just can't imagine (and don't want to imagine) how that must be. I'd say this was just about the most significant pain I've had in my Johnson. I remember having twinges and little sensations that came and went, but this was ever present, ever painful and wasn't going away.

I figured it to be some kind of nerve pain. So when I have nerve-like pain, I reach for the Tylenol. I took 1000 mgs and hoped for the best. About an hour later, the pain was gone and hasn't returned. I also haven't had anymore E.J.'s since then. I'll be curious if this is going to be a regular occurrence or just a one time deal. I'm obviously hoping for the one time deal.

Outside of that little experience, things are pretty stable. An ache here and there, but nothing to write home about.

Regarding my big announcement: I've just about got the final touches done. One more little thing to finish and then I'll be able to tell you all what is going on, so stay posted. There will be a nice little companion to the Vasectomy Side Effects blog which I think everyone will enjoy.

Interestingly, some other man on the PVPS forum started a website/blog to help get the word out. So far, he's had quite a few visitors too. It seems like more people are coming out of the closet with their vasectomy pain and side effects. That's good to hear. I think there is a silent minority of people out there who suffer everyday and just don't know where to turn. Now there are several resources available to get your questions answered. I just hope I can help you in some way as well.

Good luck.

Update and a Look to the Future

It's been a while since my last blog here and I'm not sure entirely why. There have been lots of things going on...perhaps I'm just a little burned out on the subject. Everytime I blog, it puts the problem square in my face again. But here is a rundown on what's been going on.

My wife and I were intimate. Yea! It had been a long time. Turns out, she was afraid to be close to me for fear of hurting me more. So as a result, I had a 2-3 month period of celibacy. After our time together, I started having random pain in my groin:( - very disappointing to be sure. Now, a week later, things are settling down. I took a day or two off with the athletic supporter and I believe I'll stop wearing it to bed and see what happens. It is pretty restricting and uncomfortable.

I've had to take a lot of ibuprofen and tylenol in the last 10 days. It seems like I'm taking something every two days to help with the chronic nagging pain.

I've noticed a change in my PVPS since it first started. I no longer get those extreme knifing pains as regularly as I did before. That's a plus. However, this constant racking pain and myriad of sensations in my groin, which never stop, is quite annoying and new. It's like the acuity of the pain has gone down, but the chronic nature of it has gone up. I can't say which I like better or worse.

I've really been giving a lot of thought to having targeted neurolysis done. That is where they cut the nerves to your groin that cause all the pain. Problem is, it isn't always successful in getting rid of the pain.

But first things first. I need to see a urologist and get this racking pain evaluated because I haven't really heard of PVPS sufferers having this type of pain. Makes me think it's mechanical in nature rather than nervey.

That's the update and what's going on with me and my constant struggle with PVPS.

Not Much Has Changed

As you can tell by my title, I'm pretty status quo. I have pain, I don't have pain, I take tylenol, I cope, I hurt, I feel sorry for myself. It's a regular day at Disney World.

I bought one of those inflatable donuts to sit on. It helps me sit on hard surfaces better.

My wife and I were close last week after a real long time off. I found out she was afraid to be with me because she thought she might hurt me. I was having a lot of pain before we were together. Now I'm having a lot of pain afterwards. So I don't think ejaculations really affect me one way or another. Although, I could be wrong. I might be better to say, it didn't affect me this last time.

I spoke to my pain mentor a couple days ago. It was good to hear his voice. He provided some more insight, as usual. He's really helped me a lot.

Lately I've been considering a nerve surgery. It is supposed to deaden the nerves so you don't feel the pain anymore. But someone on the forum had an injection (which would be the preliminary step to the surgery) and now he has more pain than before the injection.

So I guess I am what I am. I probably won't have anymore surgeries, Lord willing. Also Lord willing, I hope I'll be able to have less pain. But it's been over a year now and that just doesn't seem like it's going to be a reality. But the Lord can heal me and make it easier. He's done it before. I would love it if he would do it for me. Wouldn't we all!

God does get me through the days though. I thank him for that. I hate having PVPS. I wish I had never had a vasectomy. But you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, can you? So I'll just keep relying on Jesus and coping and dealing. I guess that's it for now.

Peace be with you and yours. May God bless you.

In the Pit of Despair

One of our favorite movies is the "Princess Bride". In it the heroic lead is taken to the pit of despair. There he prepares to be tortured and relies on his own strength to get himself through the imminent pain. In the end, the pain wins and the scene cuts away with him crying. That's how I feel today.

I know my own strength is not sufficient, God seems to be teaching me that everyday. Only in him can I get through this desperate time. To say the least, I'm really bummed! I woke up this morning to a nocturnal admission. I don't like those, but always think that maybe an E.J. will help the pain. This morning, I took my shower and then sat down to start home school with the kids. I was sitting down for all of 15 minutes when I started to experience severe inguinal nerve pain on my left side. I stood up and started teaching - lecture style, pacing back and forth with a sure grimace on my face. I also took some tylenol.

When will this thing stabilize to the point where setbacks either occur months apart or won't be so intense? Someone asked me the other day if I regretted having the reversal. I told them no. But one solid week's worth of pain later, I might have to rethink that answer.

I've even debated having another surgery to "clean out" the scar tissue that I am sure is causing this nerve pain. But will a third surgery in my scrotum make things better, or just cause more scar tissue in the long run? I simply don't have the answer to that question. I'm not sure anyone does.

So I'm just praying and coping and hoping for the best.  

Why You Should Not Have a Vasectomy

My left testicle is still reminding me that it's there. Yesterday, I picked up a pumpkin to put it in the mini-van. Three minutes later, I had that vice grip feeling on the left side. I can't believe that by picking up a 15 pound pumpkin, my boys would hurt. But that's the nature of vasectomy pain syndrome. It doesn't seem to take much to aggravate them.

My wife and I were intimate again last Saturday night. I didn't have any pain or discomfort while we were together, thank the Lord. I've heard other people say they have extreme pain with ejaculation. I think I'd turn into a monk if that were the case. My right side still has some referred pain, into my right abdomen, over by my side. I'm also having that spasm feeling behind my right testicle. I sometimes call it a burning or paper cut sensation. That seems to show up after ejaculations. Like the vas deference is refilling with sperm and it doesn't like it. Hard to explain, but it's there none-the-less.

It seems like ejaculations make my right side have this referred pain more often too. At least that's the case this time around. Interestingly, my left side has a horizontal line impression in it. It's weird. A perfectly straight line, completely horizontal. I'll have to ask the guys on the forum about that. You know, I saw the line before, but hadn't noticed how perfectly horizontal it was, nor how pronounced it was. I just thought it was a weird looking wrinkle in my scrotum.

So I guess that's it for today. I'm now 10 months and 1 week post op from my reversal and if I measure my outcome in terms of months, I'd say I am getting better with each month. But I also have more coping mechanisms than before this journey started. I just keep praying that God will continue to be with me on this journey and that I'll have a great outcome. I also keep praying that God will use my situation to help men make the decision to NOT have a vasectomy. There really is a lot of wisdom that many doctors have, which is God designed us to be a certain way and when we start having surgies to mess with that design, we're asking for trouble.

Long Overdue

Wow, a lot has happened since I posted last. I think it's been a couple of days since my last post. It's official, we've started homeschooling. Yep that's right, we're homeschooling. We gave the public school a chance, but it just wasn't working out. They're too worried about their statewide testing rather then making sure our kids are being challenged in the classroom. So we pulled them out and now I guess I have that "teaching" job I was hoping for.

I was right about teaching. It has a nice mix of standing and sitting. A little too much computer time, printing off worksheets and such, but I hope that will lessen as we move further into school and my ordered workbooks arrive. Right now, I'm having to create a lot of worksheets on the computer, which makes my nerves down there a little jumpy.

My wife and I have rediscovered our intimacy. We've been together twice this week, Monday and last night (Thursday). That makes three times since last Saturday. This would be considered a world-wind six days of togetherness for us. So I've had 3 E.J.s in six days and I've experienced a little bit of pain behind my testicles. It feels like a paper cut behind my testicles where they attach in the perianal area. I've had this sensation/pain before. It feels like my vas deference is in spasm. It comes and goes. This feeling is painful after a while, because it just seems to build and build. I've taken tylenol twice because it is kind of aggravating.

I've also had intermittent inguinal nerve pain on my left side. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night several times because of this inguinal nerve pain on the left side. But I rolled onto my side and the pain seemed to have gone away. Not sure why?

I've been walking pretty regularly. I even added a little running this last week. Not very far, just about 20 yards, but it felt really good. At least, while I was running. So I'm not sure if this paper cut feeling/spasm thing and nerve pain is a result of making love to my wife or from the little bit of running I've done. I think I'll stop the running and see what happens with the pain.

I haven't taken any hot baths in a while, I may try that too. So, this post is a little long and a little revealing, but I think it's important to document everything that happens in this online journal of mine, so I can track what impacts my pain levels and how. I had been in a good way the last time I posted. I can see little signposts ahead that look like a bad cycle is on it's way. But I hope it doesn't last very long. Lord willing. Lord willing.

Wife and I Test the Waters

We finally had our first relaxing weekend since moving to the NW. What I mean by that is we didn't have any activities planned and there wasn't really anything to do except just plow through the weekend. I had my bible study on Saturday morning and then we went shopping later on, had dinner out at Red Robin, then went home and put the kids to bed. Then my wife and I stayed up and talked, laughed and went to bed.

It had been a long time since my wife and I have been intimate - like 2 months. With the move and new job and all the stress, it just wasn't in the cards. But then there was last night. We were able to relax and settle in to our new life up here in the NW. It was kind of nice, like a new normal for our family, since leaving the hectic pace of Dallas, Texas. So my wife and I were able to reconnect last night. I was a little nervous, if you can believe it. But that was more about wondering whether my boys would be in pain afterwards. I have such a great run of good days lately, I thought having an E.J. might jeopardize that good streak.

Afterwards, I was a little sore down there. But the sensation passed. When I woke up this morning, I felt pretty good, except for a mild inguinal ache on the right side. It was short lived and went away after lunch.

Hopefully, things will continue to remain pain free and my wife and I can become a little more acquainted with each other in the coming days/weeks. It would be nice if we could. I love her dearly and have missed being with her in a close way. I always find our marriage is so much better when we are close, physically. I suppose it's the whole "the two shall be one" thing.

Vitamins and Nerve Pain and a Prayer

More of the same. The bad cycle continues to makes its prescence felt, in spades! Yesterday, the pain was so intense, it buckled my knees, literally. Every time the pain hit, it rated a 9 on the 1-10 pain scale, with 10 being the worst imaginable pain. It was coming from inside my scrotum on the right, behind the teste, where that dreaded burning sensation resides. The pain came in waves and was unbearable. I eventually took a hot bath and a tylenol before I went to bed.

The inguinal nerve pain was persistent yesterday and today. The highly rated pain hasn't hit yet today - thank you Jesus! However, the pain I am having isn't hitting me and then going away. It's sticking around. I haven't taken any pain meds today. I did walk though. I'm covering about 2 miles in thirty minutes, or 4 mph. My heartrate gets up to about 120, which is a good aerobic spot for me. I did feel some pulling down below while I was walking though. I also felt fairly winded, more so than normal.

I just finished dinner and I think I'll take another hot bath and tylenol. As my mentor told me, you got to get ahead of the pain when using medications. We'll see what happens.

I'm curious if my activity yesterday had anything to do with the severity of my pain. I threw a nerf football around the front yard with my boy for about 20 minutes. I noticed the twisting motion in my torso when I would throw the ball. I'm curious if that twisting motion contributed to the pain? I know aggressive stretching of my torso will increase my pain levels, but I didn't think this twisting would.

I read today about how vitamins may help nerve function and repair. The experts, whomever they are, say that Vitamin C, E, B6 and B12 might be beneficial for those with nerve pain. So I took a multi-vitamin today. I know a lot of guys in the support group take vitamins. I guess I'll try the vitamins for the nerve pain and see if there is any help. I'll give it a good couple of weeks and report back on the blog.

My wife stops working her 10 hours shifts this week. Yea!! Now maybe I'll see her more at night. And...maybe she'll be less tired, if you know what I mean. Perhaps I'm not having enough intimate times with her. The guys on the support group say those with reversals should be having 2 ejaculations per week. I'm averaging 1 per 3 weeks since we moved up here. I've thought a lot about just taking things into my own hands, in that area, but I'm conflicted about that. As strange as it sounds, I even prayed about that this morning. I asked God if I should masturbate to see if that helped to alleviate the pain. I didn't feel convicted to do it, so I didn't. I am hopeful that my natural relationship with my wife will begin to tic up a bit now that her hours are going to be more normal.

Sorry for the long post. But lots going on in my brain and prayer life right now. Have a lot of stuff to sort through. Lord willing, he'll guide me and help me like he has so far. It's easy to forget about God when things are going great and then demand miracles when things go bad. Like my mentor told me, I need to be more level-minded both emotionally and spiritually.

When my pain goes away for a day or so, I begin to think, "hey, I'm healed. I've got no worries because this thing is behind me now." Then I have a day or two like yesterday and I remember how sucky this syndrome is.

Lord God, continue to be with me in the good and bad times. Help me to continously rely on your word to get me through the difficult times. I know you love me and want the best for me. Please use this syndrome for your glory and may I some how shine your light in my life as I deal with this. Grant me good days, I pray and make the bad days, not so bad. Help the other guys who have this problem too. May you be sought during their desperate times and may they find you not lacking in mercy and grace. May the peace of Jesus be with us all and may you remain our King and Lord. Amen.

Good Cycle Ending?

Well, I've had a nice little run of good days in a row. I think it's about two weeks long now. But there are signs that it may be coming to an end. For example, during church on Sunday, my right inguinal side felt pretty bad. No knifing nerve pain, but rather, it felt like someone was twisting my insides with a pair of pliers. I had to stand up and walk around before it finally went away. Then, the rest of the day was okay.

Meanwhile, last night, I had a nocturnal emission. I haven't had an E.J. for quite a while, so maybe this was God's way of helping me out. However, now I'm having various sensations in my inguinal areas. I just finished taking a hot bath, hoping that helps. I will probably also take a tylenol. I have a stye on my eyelid too, so maybe the tylenol will help with that pain too. I'm only going to take 1 500 mg tablet though. I want to see if that works as well as the 1000 mgs.

I'll also go for a walk today after I get done blogging. See if that doesn't help too. The last time my good cycle ended, I had a lot of pain and I was quite miserable. But maybe the walking and proactive hot baths will postpone the end or at least make it not as bad as last time.

Ask Your Doctor About Vasectomy Side Effects

I wish someone would have told me to ask my doctor about vasectomy side effects. I'd been curious about his response. The more I read on the forum, the more I'm understanding how urologists don't typically warn their patients about PVPS before the procedure. It seems that would be something the patient would want to know about.

I'm not sure if I would have changed my mind, but at least I would have known about it beforehand. Some how, that makes it seem better. We all want to make intelligent decisions and we rely on the experts to help us with those decisions.

Next time you go for a physical or check up, ask your doc if they've ever heard of PVPS. It will be the rare doc who is familiar with it I'm sure.

Anyway, my wife and I were together last night - YEA!! That was about 5 days after my last E.J. I have to say, the pain has been better since my EJ and this morning, I feel pretty good. I do not have pain during sex, thank goodness. There are some on the forum who report pain, which I find unimaginable. The bad thing is my wife is back on the pill after a 10 year lay off. But a small price to pay I guess in comparison to the pain that many men and women have from surgical interventions like vasectomy or hysterectomy.

I just have a little pain when I sit in a scrunched over position in this dreaded computer chair. Otherwise, not much to report. Thank God. I hope I'm in another long cycle of no pain. I can only pray that is the case. God bless you for reading this blog and I pray you don't have to experience the pain many of us face. If you are undecided about having a vasectomy, then read some of these blogs or read on the forum. You'll quickly come to a good decision you can live with.

...if it aint broke, don't fix it.

I'm Not Proud

Well, I did it - reluctantly, the deed has been done. I had an E.J. in the shower this morning. I wrestled with this idea all night and wasn't sure about what to do. I had a little pain this morning on the right side and my right teste seemed pretty firm, so I decided to go through with it. Like the title says, "I'm not proud". I know most guys wouldn't care about handling up on their own business, but I'm not like most guys I guess. At least, not as I get older.

So, we'll see what happens today. Hopefully, the natural order of things with my wife will be restored as her stress level calms down in the coming days about her new job. I do miss the intimacy we usually have. There is always this disconnection we have if we aren't together for a while. Then once we reconnect, it's like this tremendous door is opened in our relationship and we simply walk through together with joy - like God intended, I'd imagine.

Too many people get hung up on too many things in their marriage. A lot of guys aren't willing to admit their wives are their best friend, but mine is. She's just terrific. A blessing from the Lord to be sure. But I digress.

As I said, I hope our normal lives kick-in here in our new home in the NW. It will be nice to have a "normal" life again.

Irritating Burning Sensation

I've talked about this burning sensation I get behind my scrotum on the right side. It still persists and comes and goes with seemingly no reason. It is very disconcerting because it makes me wonder if something is not quite right. I've only had this sensation for a few months so I worry about it, even more than the nerve pain. However, it could just be a different kind of nerve pain. I don't know.

My wife and I were able to get together last night after a 3 week lay off. Not the ideal situation, I know, but our intimacy times have never been what you'd call very regular. Kind of comes in waves with regular breaks. But I do feel a little bit better, because that full feeling tends to go away after I have an E.J.

But this burning sensation is still around. It doesn't seem dependent on intimacy or exercise or activity or anything. I can't say it really hurts a lot. I'd put it at a 1 or 2 on a pain scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being the worst imaginable pain possible. I am hopeful it's just a nerve-like pain rather than a sign that something is wrong.

I guess that's it for now.

A Day Without Pain

These are rare, but always enjoyable - days without pain. Coincidentally, I didn't do much driving or sitting on a hard surface. My wife and I were also together yesterday morning, which couldn't have hurt. It was nice to reconnect with her in an intimate way. Luckily I don't have any pain when we're being close, like many who have PVPS. I still have a little fear when we get close, but the emotional connection usual takes my mind off of it pretty quickly.

I love my wife so much. We have a strong friendship which has helped during this process. There were times when things became strained. I'd be lying if I didn't say that. I think with any chronic syndrome the relationships become strained, it's only natural. But here we are some 7 months post reversal and 6 years post vasectomy, and we've been through a lot. This last year was especially challenging, but I think it's made our marriage stronger. The Lord truly blessed me with the one woman who could be by my side during all this stuff.

Well, since we had our intimate morning, I've felt better down there. One theory is the congestion theory. This says that sperm congests in the epididymous which is then felt upstream as an ache. The nerves are exacerbated as the congestion gets worse. I think my epididymous also becomes inflamed, but once the release occurs, the congestion lessens. Many in the support group state that men should have an E.J. every couple of days. In my case, I think that is true. But everyone is different.

Anyway, no real pain or sensations today so thank God for that! Just in time as we'll be road warriors in a couple of days.

Aleve Didn't Help the Nerve Pain

As the day went on yesterday, I developed more and more right sided inguinal nerve pain. My cardiologist suggested I take Aleve - I think because it is supposed to be better for the heart, but not sure. Anyway, I tried it and had no real substantial pain relief. So I took an ibuprofen and woke up this morning feeling better.

Coincidentally, I also had a "nocturnal emission" last night. Haven't had one of those in years. I am grateful for it though, because it has been quite some time since my wife and I have been together. I'm not sure if it was the ibuprofen or the nightime event that made my right side feel better?

To add to this, I haven't been able to take hot baths since I got back from my cross country trek. I really think those hot baths help in some way. Either it kills the sperm in my scrotum or gets everything kind of loose inside there, so maybe the scar tissue doesn't get trapped in an area it shouldn't be. Whatever the case, I'm looking forward to having normal relations with my wife and getting a good hot soak. Living out of a suitcase has never been my favorite thing to do. But we have 2 more weeks of it before we arrive in our northwest home.

Very Little Pain for last 5 Days

Here I go again. It's been a few days now and I haven't had a lot of pain. I've been taking warm/hot baths every morning. I'm not sure if that's helping or maybe I'm just in that cycle of not having pain for a while. It does seem to cycle like that. However, I personally feel that prayer helps too. I'm feeling much better (physically and emotionally) since my prayer on June 25th. Having the guy from church over also helped, as he prayed with me too.

Okay then...I do feel like I'm learning more about what exacerbates the pain and what helps. Sitting is terrible, but not just any kind of sitting. Sitting on a hard surface or leaning forward while sitting, even for short periods of time, seem to hurt.

Hot baths seem to help. Avoiding bending over seems to help too. I'm going to try walking again, if the weather will cooperate. I'll avoid the vigorous stretching, as that seems to hurt me.

My wife and I were together a couple of times this week also. Maybe that helps too. But as usual, this thing keeps you on your toes. I will say this...I'm looking forward to my visit with the guy from church next Wednesday. It will be nice to visit with him some more and share what's been going on.

Strength in Numbers

A gentlemen from my church came over yesterday to talk to me about chronic pain. He has had chronic, debilitating back pain since 1998. The conversation was very insightful and enlightening. It was nice to talk to someone who knows what I'm kind of going through, mentally.

He's coming over again next Wednesday just to talk. I can't tell you what a nice feeling it is to know he'll be coming over. Even though I post on a PVPS forum and have gained valuable info and support from them, it was so wonderful to speak to someone one on one. Even though his pain was different from mine. Suddenly, I don't feel like I'm on an island anymore.

As far as the pain goes, I've been with my wife twice this last week. I had a touch of nerve pain on the right, but it went away when I readjusted the boys. It seems like when the cremaster muscle moves my right testicle up, I get the nerve pain. Perhaps, there is scar tissue that pushes up on a nerve that causes the pain. I'm not for sure.

We're moving to Washington state soon. There are a couple docs up there that specialize in PVPS. I think I'll see one of them, maybe both and get their input. Maybe I just need to have some scar tissue removed? Maybe it will get better with time. Who knows.

Still in a Holding Pattern

Not much has changed since my post yesterday. Still having weird sensations in the scrotal area - tingling or prickly feeling, but not a lot of pain. My wife and I connected last night which was nice. No problems, but I'll be curious to see how the next day or two progress.

I tried to stay off my butt yesterday and I think it helped quite a bit. I'm trying to do the same today, so I'll be signing off for now. Our house looks like it will close in July, so we've got a lot to do between now and then to get ready for the move out of state.