I have to say that I'm a little better than yesterday. Marginal might be a good description. I still feel like my left side is getting pushed down on from up above inside my abdomen (the hernia-like pain I described in yesterday's post). The athletic supporter may have helped or perhaps the lack of sitting down on hard surfaces. Maybe the one dose of ibuprofen helped; hard to know for sure what may have helped.
But this remains a disconcerting feeling. Hopefully, it too shall pass. More of the same today - athletic support, ibuprofen, walking and prayer. Not necessarily in that order.
Dear Lord, you know what I'm going through and what other people are going through. Please meet us in our needs. It seems silly to ask for relief from pain related to a vasectomy, but I ask nonetheless. You tell us to make all our requests known to you, so that is what I'm doing. Asking you to bring me off the roller coaster of emotion and fear. Lead me to the calm waters. Grant me peace and comfort. Please get me through this uneasy pain and anxiety.
I also pray for anyone else having pain. I pray you'd be glorified in their pain and circumstances. I pray you'd bring them healing and that your will would be done in the healing you bring. You don't need us for anything, yet we are always dependent upon you for everything. Guide us through the pain and help us to see your glory. May we be filled with your joy and spirit, may we praise your name today and tomorrow. May we trust in you, the giver of life itself. Your providence I trust and your name I honor. Amen
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sharp Pinching Sensation and a Prayer
Today I was laying in bed on my left side, with my typical pillow between my knees. This is how I sleep most of the time, or on my back. Anyway, I've been straitening out my left leg (the one under the pillow) for a while now. So basically, my right leg (on top of the pillow) is the only one in the fetal position. It's a nice change of pace and hasn't been painful in any way at all...until this morning that is.
I'm not sure what the deal was. Interestingly, it all started when I had to get up 3 times to pee last night. And by pee, I don't mean dribble, dribble. Nope, I had to go. So it wasn't like a prostate thing, like you see on the TV commercials. Rather, it was as if someone had slipped me a diuretic before bedtime; I had to go and go badly.
Finally, around 6:15 am, I woke up and turned to my side to sleep as I described above, left leg straight, right leg in the fetal position. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had this pinching, almost burning pain in my right testicle, on the back side. This is where your epididymous is located. I felt down there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I hadn't smashed my testicle or anything like that. There was plenty of room for maneuvering down there. So I straightened out my right leg and the pain disappeared.
I reconnoitered and brought my right leg up again, and sure enough, the pinching pain returned. I repeated this about 5 times, with the same result. With every fetal curl, my right testicle would feel like someone was burying a needle into it, about an inch deep. I tried to just toughen it out, but eventually had to relent, too much pain.
I rolled back over to my back and laid there. No snoozing for me this morning. I stayed awake the remainder of the morning until I got up. I noticed I was a little sore down there during breakfast, so I took 1 Tylenol, just in case it wouldn't go away.
It's pain like that which causes my anxiety level to increase. Random pains down there which seem positional in nature, make me think that anatomically, something is not quite right post vasectomy reversal. I really wish I had a video tape of my reversal.
But more likely, there is probably just some scar tissue down there that is rubbing against something or pinching something it shouldn't. When I think about this, I start to get fanciful ideas about having another surgery to "clean up" the area, kind of like when an athlete gets their knee cleaned out. But I don't dare have another surgery down there, if I can help it.
This is the roller coaster thinking you do when you have PVPS. Your mind play out numerous scenarios back and forth with a slew of "would of", "could of", and "should of" 's. Very tiring thinking and frustrating.
I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa. She talks about trusting in God for all things and then expecting him to come through in the clutch. I think that's where I struggle, the "expecting him to come through" part. But I think this is part of the master's plan for my spiritual growth. Or rather, not part of his initial plan, but since it's happened, he'll use it to that end.
So I guess it's back to just trusting God through all of this. Not letting myself get on that emotional roller coaster.
"Lord, please help me to trust in you. To expect that you'll help me. To absolutely count on it. You've done it before, with my marriage, my family, my career, etc. So why should I expect anything to change. You are the creator of the universe and you can do all things. Help me to trust you and to give it all to you. Not leaning on my own strength and understanding, but yours and yours alone. Speak to me with that still, small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. Lead me through this and whatever else you know lies in my path. May you receive the glory and honor forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen."
I'm not sure what the deal was. Interestingly, it all started when I had to get up 3 times to pee last night. And by pee, I don't mean dribble, dribble. Nope, I had to go. So it wasn't like a prostate thing, like you see on the TV commercials. Rather, it was as if someone had slipped me a diuretic before bedtime; I had to go and go badly.
Finally, around 6:15 am, I woke up and turned to my side to sleep as I described above, left leg straight, right leg in the fetal position. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had this pinching, almost burning pain in my right testicle, on the back side. This is where your epididymous is located. I felt down there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I hadn't smashed my testicle or anything like that. There was plenty of room for maneuvering down there. So I straightened out my right leg and the pain disappeared.
I reconnoitered and brought my right leg up again, and sure enough, the pinching pain returned. I repeated this about 5 times, with the same result. With every fetal curl, my right testicle would feel like someone was burying a needle into it, about an inch deep. I tried to just toughen it out, but eventually had to relent, too much pain.
I rolled back over to my back and laid there. No snoozing for me this morning. I stayed awake the remainder of the morning until I got up. I noticed I was a little sore down there during breakfast, so I took 1 Tylenol, just in case it wouldn't go away.
It's pain like that which causes my anxiety level to increase. Random pains down there which seem positional in nature, make me think that anatomically, something is not quite right post vasectomy reversal. I really wish I had a video tape of my reversal.
But more likely, there is probably just some scar tissue down there that is rubbing against something or pinching something it shouldn't. When I think about this, I start to get fanciful ideas about having another surgery to "clean up" the area, kind of like when an athlete gets their knee cleaned out. But I don't dare have another surgery down there, if I can help it.
This is the roller coaster thinking you do when you have PVPS. Your mind play out numerous scenarios back and forth with a slew of "would of", "could of", and "should of" 's. Very tiring thinking and frustrating.
I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa. She talks about trusting in God for all things and then expecting him to come through in the clutch. I think that's where I struggle, the "expecting him to come through" part. But I think this is part of the master's plan for my spiritual growth. Or rather, not part of his initial plan, but since it's happened, he'll use it to that end.
So I guess it's back to just trusting God through all of this. Not letting myself get on that emotional roller coaster.
"Lord, please help me to trust in you. To expect that you'll help me. To absolutely count on it. You've done it before, with my marriage, my family, my career, etc. So why should I expect anything to change. You are the creator of the universe and you can do all things. Help me to trust you and to give it all to you. Not leaning on my own strength and understanding, but yours and yours alone. Speak to me with that still, small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. Lead me through this and whatever else you know lies in my path. May you receive the glory and honor forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen."
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I Hate Pain
I read a story by Tony Dungy called Quiet Strength. In there he talks about how he adopted a child who was born with the inability to feel pain. A gene was missing, who would have known. They wondered if something was wrong when they noticed the kid wouldn't cry after getting shots and eye drops.
I told my wife about this and she immediately thought how great it would be if I couldn't feel pain. I thought that was a great idea, but didn't think much more about it. Mainly because I've been relatively pain free for a couple weeks/months.
Well, today I woke up in pain. It feels like that racking pain I've had before on my left side. But I also had nerve like pain on my left side too. That's new. It's so frustrating and so I went for a little walk and talked to the Lord about it.
As usual, he helped me put everything in perspective. I tend to get myself so wrapped up in the symptoms or the pain or whatever it is, that I lose perspective. I suddenly become so engrossed, nothing else matters. Talking to the Lord is a great way to remind myself we should praise him, regardless of whether things are going well or bad.
I have a bad habit of only thanking him for good stuff and not also appreciating what comes from the bad stuff, like patience, mercy, grace, understanding, and peace. When times are tough, I learn the most.
But I do hate pain. I don't like having it, no matter what I might learn. But it could be worse. I might have been born with a gene that keeps me from feeling pain. Then I'd probably really hurt myself, although I wouldn't know it.
Such are the challenges of this fickle life. So thank you God for giving me the pain. Thank you for letting yourself be glorified in it. Help me to grow from this.
I told my wife about this and she immediately thought how great it would be if I couldn't feel pain. I thought that was a great idea, but didn't think much more about it. Mainly because I've been relatively pain free for a couple weeks/months.
Well, today I woke up in pain. It feels like that racking pain I've had before on my left side. But I also had nerve like pain on my left side too. That's new. It's so frustrating and so I went for a little walk and talked to the Lord about it.
As usual, he helped me put everything in perspective. I tend to get myself so wrapped up in the symptoms or the pain or whatever it is, that I lose perspective. I suddenly become so engrossed, nothing else matters. Talking to the Lord is a great way to remind myself we should praise him, regardless of whether things are going well or bad.
I have a bad habit of only thanking him for good stuff and not also appreciating what comes from the bad stuff, like patience, mercy, grace, understanding, and peace. When times are tough, I learn the most.
But I do hate pain. I don't like having it, no matter what I might learn. But it could be worse. I might have been born with a gene that keeps me from feeling pain. Then I'd probably really hurt myself, although I wouldn't know it.
Such are the challenges of this fickle life. So thank you God for giving me the pain. Thank you for letting yourself be glorified in it. Help me to grow from this.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping....
Into the future I go. I suppose there is no where else to go. This online journal has been a great way for me to keep track of my symptoms. I was able to identify cycles of pain, look for cause and effect, and track the intensity and nature of the pain. I've been recording this data for over a year now, since my vasectomy reversal.
I've been a member of the yahoo forum for PVPS sufferers for close to a year and a half. Those guys and gals have been through so much, just like me. A lot of their stories are worse than mine. Their pain seems to be much more pronounced and debilitating, although, mine has had its moments. I continue to pray for those who suffer from PVPS. Sadly, there are new members to the forum, monthly. All have the same story, to some degree I mean. They all had a vasectomy and now their world is turned upside down.
We all frantically look for answers, solutions, tips...anything that will take the pain away. I love to read stories about how some men were able to have a procedure which enabled them to become pain free, but unfortunately, those stories are too rare. Most guys just talk about getting back to 80, 85, or even 90% of their former self.
It has been over 18 months since my reversal, so I thought I would provide an update.
Physically - I am not in the greatest of shape, because my activity still isn't normal. I have a fairly sedentary lifestyle. However, it is picking up a bit. We live in an apartment complex that has a swimming pool, exercise area, and tennis court. I've been able to get back on the treadmill, I swim at least once a week and I've played tennis once or twice - with athletic supporter in place.
My pain is confined to nondescript flashes of pain in the inguinal area that rate a 1-2 on a 1-10 pain scale. I also get a racking pain in my left testicle which rates a 4-5. This pain is triggered by E.J.s, lifting anything heavy and doing squats. I think it may be a type of hernia or it could be nerve pain. I'm not really sure. The last type of pain is a nerve pain I get on the tip of my penis. I've had it a couple of times and it is just flat out disturbing. It rates a 4-5 and can last all evening.
Mentally - I'm doing better. The pain has weighed less on me lately. I've kind of just adjusted to it. I no longer freak out when I have a blast of nerve pain. Instead, I just kind of think, "Oh, okay. Just a bit of pain." Now that would probably not be the case if I was still having those sharp knifing pains, but the last couple of months have been better. The chronic ache on my right side isn't even noticeable, most of the time. So that has helped me quite a bit on the mental side.
Spiritually - Let's face it, we're all sinners. That will never change. I still need my Lord and savior Jesus to get me through. But since I've kind of surrendered this to him, it hasn't been as bad. Coincidence? Maybe. But I like to think that God has helped me have a stronger relationship with him because I had to go through this PVPS thing. I truly believe that my faith wouldn't be nearly as strong as it is, if it weren't for PVPS.
So yes, I'm actually praising God for this syndrome. Crazy, I know. But who can argue with God. It's like this, those without faith in God, think those of us with faith are stupid. So if you don't have it, I don't expect you to understand what I'm talking about. But trust me, Jesus is the answer to so many questions.
My prayer is that your pain will go away. I also pray that you'll find Jesus in this and that he'll comfort and strengthen you, as he continually does for me. I'm not sure when I'll blog next, so until that time, may you become more aware of Jesus in your life. More aware of how he wants you to be his. God bless.
I've been a member of the yahoo forum for PVPS sufferers for close to a year and a half. Those guys and gals have been through so much, just like me. A lot of their stories are worse than mine. Their pain seems to be much more pronounced and debilitating, although, mine has had its moments. I continue to pray for those who suffer from PVPS. Sadly, there are new members to the forum, monthly. All have the same story, to some degree I mean. They all had a vasectomy and now their world is turned upside down.
We all frantically look for answers, solutions, tips...anything that will take the pain away. I love to read stories about how some men were able to have a procedure which enabled them to become pain free, but unfortunately, those stories are too rare. Most guys just talk about getting back to 80, 85, or even 90% of their former self.
It has been over 18 months since my reversal, so I thought I would provide an update.
Physically - I am not in the greatest of shape, because my activity still isn't normal. I have a fairly sedentary lifestyle. However, it is picking up a bit. We live in an apartment complex that has a swimming pool, exercise area, and tennis court. I've been able to get back on the treadmill, I swim at least once a week and I've played tennis once or twice - with athletic supporter in place.
My pain is confined to nondescript flashes of pain in the inguinal area that rate a 1-2 on a 1-10 pain scale. I also get a racking pain in my left testicle which rates a 4-5. This pain is triggered by E.J.s, lifting anything heavy and doing squats. I think it may be a type of hernia or it could be nerve pain. I'm not really sure. The last type of pain is a nerve pain I get on the tip of my penis. I've had it a couple of times and it is just flat out disturbing. It rates a 4-5 and can last all evening.
Mentally - I'm doing better. The pain has weighed less on me lately. I've kind of just adjusted to it. I no longer freak out when I have a blast of nerve pain. Instead, I just kind of think, "Oh, okay. Just a bit of pain." Now that would probably not be the case if I was still having those sharp knifing pains, but the last couple of months have been better. The chronic ache on my right side isn't even noticeable, most of the time. So that has helped me quite a bit on the mental side.
Spiritually - Let's face it, we're all sinners. That will never change. I still need my Lord and savior Jesus to get me through. But since I've kind of surrendered this to him, it hasn't been as bad. Coincidence? Maybe. But I like to think that God has helped me have a stronger relationship with him because I had to go through this PVPS thing. I truly believe that my faith wouldn't be nearly as strong as it is, if it weren't for PVPS.
So yes, I'm actually praising God for this syndrome. Crazy, I know. But who can argue with God. It's like this, those without faith in God, think those of us with faith are stupid. So if you don't have it, I don't expect you to understand what I'm talking about. But trust me, Jesus is the answer to so many questions.
My prayer is that your pain will go away. I also pray that you'll find Jesus in this and that he'll comfort and strengthen you, as he continually does for me. I'm not sure when I'll blog next, so until that time, may you become more aware of Jesus in your life. More aware of how he wants you to be his. God bless.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
A Bad Horror Movie
PVPS is like a bad movie...you know the plot before it plays out and you just can't kill the bad guy. The villain in this case is the pain and the plot is pain, pain followed by more pain. I was feeling great, as you could have guessed by the lack of posting on this blog recently. I was even working out on the treadmill regularly. I was feeling great. (That should have been my first clue that something was about to change.)
One day, I was amping up the treadmill to get a good cardio. It felt great. That night, I felt pretty good. The next day I was starting to hurt. Now for over 7 days, I've been in constant pain. Its right sided inguinal pain. As usual, I'm not sure exactly what triggered it. Maybe it was just time for it, maybe the treadmill caused it, I don't really know.
I have been taking tylenol regularly this last week. But we have a new development which may be contributing to the continued pain...we're moving again. Yep, as if one 2700 mile cross country move wasn't good enough 10 months ago, we've decided to do it again! This time, no one will help me drive the moving truck. So I'm not sure how it's going to work out. Pain will likely be more than a bit player though. Packing and moving heavy boxes downstairs has not been fun. Stacking them in the garage doesn't exactly give things a chance to settle down. Perhaps that is contributing.
I just pray that the move will go well. I pray the pain will stay away. I pray we'll make good time. Notice a new theme to the movie? We have a tendency to think we know how the movie will turn out, but we have a God who is bigger than our movie (our life). We are bit players in his story. It's not the other way around. So I trust that God will work it out for me. That his plans are better than mine. His thoughts are higher than mine. I pray that Jesus will be reflected in my story. That others will see his grace and love for them because of how he steals the scene in my life.
May God be glorified and may Jesus be reflected in my life. Thank you Lord for all you do and for how you continually amaze me and answer my prayers. I can't imagine where I'd be if you weren't with me. Amen
One day, I was amping up the treadmill to get a good cardio. It felt great. That night, I felt pretty good. The next day I was starting to hurt. Now for over 7 days, I've been in constant pain. Its right sided inguinal pain. As usual, I'm not sure exactly what triggered it. Maybe it was just time for it, maybe the treadmill caused it, I don't really know.
I have been taking tylenol regularly this last week. But we have a new development which may be contributing to the continued pain...we're moving again. Yep, as if one 2700 mile cross country move wasn't good enough 10 months ago, we've decided to do it again! This time, no one will help me drive the moving truck. So I'm not sure how it's going to work out. Pain will likely be more than a bit player though. Packing and moving heavy boxes downstairs has not been fun. Stacking them in the garage doesn't exactly give things a chance to settle down. Perhaps that is contributing.
I just pray that the move will go well. I pray the pain will stay away. I pray we'll make good time. Notice a new theme to the movie? We have a tendency to think we know how the movie will turn out, but we have a God who is bigger than our movie (our life). We are bit players in his story. It's not the other way around. So I trust that God will work it out for me. That his plans are better than mine. His thoughts are higher than mine. I pray that Jesus will be reflected in my story. That others will see his grace and love for them because of how he steals the scene in my life.
May God be glorified and may Jesus be reflected in my life. Thank you Lord for all you do and for how you continually amaze me and answer my prayers. I can't imagine where I'd be if you weren't with me. Amen
Friday, February 24, 2012
One Week of Consistent Exercise
I am closing in on my first week of resistence and treadmill training. I know my exercise is nothing that will turn me into Hans n' Frans from SNL, but everyone has to have their own goals and start from somewhere. I just happen to be starting at the bottom of the fitness barrel.On a good note, I haven't been sore from my workouts, which probably means I'm not really working out. However, a good testing of the waters and balance are the two aims I am trying to achieve at this point. So the fact I'm not sore is probably a good thing. Next week, if all holds and I'm not in terrible nerve pain, I'll probably up my reps or sets. I want to keep the weight the same a I cautiously move forward.
The treadmill has gone well this week. I wear an athletic supporter to make sure there's as little jiggling taking place as possible. I am very methodical in my treadmill approach too. It takes me a good 7-8 minutes to work out of my self-imposed warm up period. I do not want to advance too quickly and suffer a set back. Set backs are not good for my outlook on life. So I may be resembling the tortoise in the famous race with the hare, but I don't really care.
My pain levels have increased slightly during this week of exercise. But it is still manageable, thank God. I believe this is a time in my life when God is teaching me patience, real patience. Not the kind where you get in a hurry behind a slow driver, but rather the kind where you have to be smart and slowly move forward with a game plan or suffer disasterous consequences. I have always been inpatient and wanting things yesterday. So this is a real change for me; a good change I think. Again - thank you God.
As far as describing my pain today, I have an inguinal pulling sensation on my right side. This usually comes with too much sitting. Despite the exercise implementation, I have been overall less active because the weather here has been kind of wet, cold and dreary. Our usual afternoon walks around the neighborhood have been on hold in the last week and I think that is part of my pain uptick. However, I'm sure the exercise isn't helping.
On a side note, I have not been stretching out. It seems that stretching does increase my pain drastically. So I am hoping that doing such light workouts at higher reps will provide some natural and gentle stretching, without me having to bend at the waist, hold for a minute or so, etc.
I am also doing some of those pelvic floor exercises - Kegal I think they're called. I'm not sure if they're helping, but I don't think they're hurting, so I'll continue with them. I have noticed a strengthening of my pelvic floor since I've been doing them. I suppose that's a good thing.
Well, here's hoping you have a blessed weekend. I have a men's bible study tomorrow morning. We're reading the book "Disciple" by Bill Clem. It's a great book and has provided me with a lot of insight. Highly recommend it to anyone who is interested. Then I believe I am meeting with my discipliship mentor. I really see God working in my life since we've moved to our new state. Not that he wasn't before, but perhaps I'm more open to him working in my life since we've moved. I don't think he's changed, but rather it's me.
Maybe some day I'll even be able to tell somebody why I love Jesus so much. I pray that happens because I think people can relate to my story. Anyway, I'll save that for another day. God bless and I pray you have learned something by reading this.
The treadmill has gone well this week. I wear an athletic supporter to make sure there's as little jiggling taking place as possible. I am very methodical in my treadmill approach too. It takes me a good 7-8 minutes to work out of my self-imposed warm up period. I do not want to advance too quickly and suffer a set back. Set backs are not good for my outlook on life. So I may be resembling the tortoise in the famous race with the hare, but I don't really care.
My pain levels have increased slightly during this week of exercise. But it is still manageable, thank God. I believe this is a time in my life when God is teaching me patience, real patience. Not the kind where you get in a hurry behind a slow driver, but rather the kind where you have to be smart and slowly move forward with a game plan or suffer disasterous consequences. I have always been inpatient and wanting things yesterday. So this is a real change for me; a good change I think. Again - thank you God.
As far as describing my pain today, I have an inguinal pulling sensation on my right side. This usually comes with too much sitting. Despite the exercise implementation, I have been overall less active because the weather here has been kind of wet, cold and dreary. Our usual afternoon walks around the neighborhood have been on hold in the last week and I think that is part of my pain uptick. However, I'm sure the exercise isn't helping.
On a side note, I have not been stretching out. It seems that stretching does increase my pain drastically. So I am hoping that doing such light workouts at higher reps will provide some natural and gentle stretching, without me having to bend at the waist, hold for a minute or so, etc.
I am also doing some of those pelvic floor exercises - Kegal I think they're called. I'm not sure if they're helping, but I don't think they're hurting, so I'll continue with them. I have noticed a strengthening of my pelvic floor since I've been doing them. I suppose that's a good thing.
Well, here's hoping you have a blessed weekend. I have a men's bible study tomorrow morning. We're reading the book "Disciple" by Bill Clem. It's a great book and has provided me with a lot of insight. Highly recommend it to anyone who is interested. Then I believe I am meeting with my discipliship mentor. I really see God working in my life since we've moved to our new state. Not that he wasn't before, but perhaps I'm more open to him working in my life since we've moved. I don't think he's changed, but rather it's me.
Maybe some day I'll even be able to tell somebody why I love Jesus so much. I pray that happens because I think people can relate to my story. Anyway, I'll save that for another day. God bless and I pray you have learned something by reading this.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Resistance Exercise Attempt
The last time I lifted weights was probably 7 years ago. Once I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, I was told to avoid the weight room and stick with the treadmill. However, there seems to be a shift in that thinking within the medical community. It seems that a little resistance training isn't as bad for a sick heart as they once thought.
Since I've been having this post reversal nerve pain, I haven't even dared to think about the idea of weight training. It's been hard enough getting to the treadmill, let alone picking up weights. Nerve pain doesn't like a lot of physical activity. In fact, in my case it seems to hate it. But it also hates laying around all day too. Quite a conundrum.
Well, I've employed my wife who is a physical therapist and asked her advice. I feel incredibly deconditioned and think my heart is suffering. I actually told someone that I felt like I was dying. So there you have it. Something has to be done, right? But what?
My wife suggested some very low, trunk stable resistance/lifting exercises here at the house. We have these kettle bells from her workouts and so the idea is to use them with high repetitions. I have now performed a type of chest press, row, curl, overhead stability lift and military press twice in the last three days. My goal is to keep the weight in the 10-15 pound range, but have the reps begin at 12 per set.
I had some pain in my right groin the day after my first exercise day. But I also leaned over to pick up a rock on a beach and felt something pop down there. So I'm not sure if it was the exercise or the bending over that brought on the pain. I took some tylenol and it went away. Last night I performed another session. This morning seems okay so far. Nothing out of the ordinary.
To make things interesting, I had an E.J. this morning. That is my first one in about 4 weeks I believe. Everyone has been sick with this stinking cold thing. I'm still coughing and my wife is still sniffling. So intimacy has been a rarity.
I'll try to get to the treadmill today, since I'm feeling a little bit better (with my cold I mean). My goal is to walk on the treadmill on the one day and use the kettle bells on the next day. Maybe my body will let me continue this pattern for a couple of months! That would be exciting. Just the idea of doing some kind of exercise makes me giddy. I can't wait. I'm also going to try to eat better.
Discipline is something I have rarely had in the kitchen. But having a belly doesn't seem to help my pain. Especially when I sit down and it hangs over my belt and pushes the inguinal tissue down. That can't be good. It may not be bad, but I'm going to think it is to help me with my motivation and discipline.
I hope to continue cautiously, plodding forward without over doing it. I can't afford any setbacks. I hope to see a cardiologist in our new city in the next month or two. I want to get a good report, so that should provide the necessary motivation and discipline too.
I continue to have good days here recently, except for two days ago when I bent over at the beach. I'll be curious to see what happens in the coming weeks. I hope people continue to pray for me like they have. It's great knowing that people are supporting me in that way. I love them all dearly for it and thank God for them in my life. Lord willing, things will continue to stay stable. I pray they do.
Since I've been having this post reversal nerve pain, I haven't even dared to think about the idea of weight training. It's been hard enough getting to the treadmill, let alone picking up weights. Nerve pain doesn't like a lot of physical activity. In fact, in my case it seems to hate it. But it also hates laying around all day too. Quite a conundrum.
Well, I've employed my wife who is a physical therapist and asked her advice. I feel incredibly deconditioned and think my heart is suffering. I actually told someone that I felt like I was dying. So there you have it. Something has to be done, right? But what?
My wife suggested some very low, trunk stable resistance/lifting exercises here at the house. We have these kettle bells from her workouts and so the idea is to use them with high repetitions. I have now performed a type of chest press, row, curl, overhead stability lift and military press twice in the last three days. My goal is to keep the weight in the 10-15 pound range, but have the reps begin at 12 per set.
I had some pain in my right groin the day after my first exercise day. But I also leaned over to pick up a rock on a beach and felt something pop down there. So I'm not sure if it was the exercise or the bending over that brought on the pain. I took some tylenol and it went away. Last night I performed another session. This morning seems okay so far. Nothing out of the ordinary.
To make things interesting, I had an E.J. this morning. That is my first one in about 4 weeks I believe. Everyone has been sick with this stinking cold thing. I'm still coughing and my wife is still sniffling. So intimacy has been a rarity.
I'll try to get to the treadmill today, since I'm feeling a little bit better (with my cold I mean). My goal is to walk on the treadmill on the one day and use the kettle bells on the next day. Maybe my body will let me continue this pattern for a couple of months! That would be exciting. Just the idea of doing some kind of exercise makes me giddy. I can't wait. I'm also going to try to eat better.
Discipline is something I have rarely had in the kitchen. But having a belly doesn't seem to help my pain. Especially when I sit down and it hangs over my belt and pushes the inguinal tissue down. That can't be good. It may not be bad, but I'm going to think it is to help me with my motivation and discipline.
I hope to continue cautiously, plodding forward without over doing it. I can't afford any setbacks. I hope to see a cardiologist in our new city in the next month or two. I want to get a good report, so that should provide the necessary motivation and discipline too.
I continue to have good days here recently, except for two days ago when I bent over at the beach. I'll be curious to see what happens in the coming weeks. I hope people continue to pray for me like they have. It's great knowing that people are supporting me in that way. I love them all dearly for it and thank God for them in my life. Lord willing, things will continue to stay stable. I pray they do.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Prayers to the Rescue
I wrote a journal entry once before and titled it, "Athletic Supporter to the Rescue". You'll notice a huge change in today's title. But the idea of needing rescued remains. People with chronic pain want to be rescued. We want the pain to go away. Some days it really feels like you are drowning in a sea of self-pity. You desperately wait for the life preserver to be thrown your way.
In my last post, I mentioned how I had a pretty good week and then found out that I was being specifically prayed for by a very nice lady in my church. Every day she prayed for me. I find that wonderfully humbling. Well, then I found out that someone else at my church had been praying for me also.
All I can say is, "thank you God" for bringing people to my aid. A lot of people don't believe in God or Jesus or prayer. I spent the better part of 20 years praying for my mom who had Alzheimer's and she was never healed. My pain mentor, a devout christian, has had people praying for him for years and years and he's still got severe pain. I won't try to answer why some people are healed and others aren't. I still have painful reminders throughout the day that my condition still exists. Even now, sitting at the computer, I feel the impingement of something or other in my inguinal area. So, I haven't been healed. But I did have a much needed week of pain relief and I thank those who prayed for me and the God above who came to my rescue.
Like I said a time or two ago, I now thank God for this pain (still sounds weird to say it). But there is no way I could have gotten to the point - spiritually - where I am today without it. I think he's really used this to help me understand the seriousness of my faith in Jesus Christ. I have always tried to please both man and God in equal proportions. Look good for God, but also put on my best for my neighbors, friends, family, co-workers, etc. I looked the part of christian, but I also looked the part of non-christian - despite a resolute faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
I now feel compelled to let people know that faith in Christ is a serious thing. We shouldn't spend our lives thinking we should be impressing people in this world; rather, it's God we should be pleasing. Living a double life is not cool. Sadly, the lack of seriousness in my faith and belief has led me to live as a double agent. The pain I feel and the regret I have were worked by God to bring me to this realization.
The prayers of the people this last week were so humbling - literally humbling. Sure, the drop off in pain has been wonderful. But will it last? Who knows. But I'm appreciative and grateful for the prayers. Just knowing that someone loves you enough to pray to God for you is an incredible blessing. And these are just regular folks. It's not like they're my best friends at church. In fact, we have only been going to this church for a few months now. We're completely new to this area. We live 2600 miles away from any family.
But now, the people who pray for us (me specifically) feel like family. Brothers and sisters in the family of Jesus. I hope they know how much I love and appreciate them. More importantly, I hope my Lord and Savior knows how much I love and appreciate him. What a wonderful savior. My life is changed.
In my last post, I mentioned how I had a pretty good week and then found out that I was being specifically prayed for by a very nice lady in my church. Every day she prayed for me. I find that wonderfully humbling. Well, then I found out that someone else at my church had been praying for me also.
All I can say is, "thank you God" for bringing people to my aid. A lot of people don't believe in God or Jesus or prayer. I spent the better part of 20 years praying for my mom who had Alzheimer's and she was never healed. My pain mentor, a devout christian, has had people praying for him for years and years and he's still got severe pain. I won't try to answer why some people are healed and others aren't. I still have painful reminders throughout the day that my condition still exists. Even now, sitting at the computer, I feel the impingement of something or other in my inguinal area. So, I haven't been healed. But I did have a much needed week of pain relief and I thank those who prayed for me and the God above who came to my rescue.
Like I said a time or two ago, I now thank God for this pain (still sounds weird to say it). But there is no way I could have gotten to the point - spiritually - where I am today without it. I think he's really used this to help me understand the seriousness of my faith in Jesus Christ. I have always tried to please both man and God in equal proportions. Look good for God, but also put on my best for my neighbors, friends, family, co-workers, etc. I looked the part of christian, but I also looked the part of non-christian - despite a resolute faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
I now feel compelled to let people know that faith in Christ is a serious thing. We shouldn't spend our lives thinking we should be impressing people in this world; rather, it's God we should be pleasing. Living a double life is not cool. Sadly, the lack of seriousness in my faith and belief has led me to live as a double agent. The pain I feel and the regret I have were worked by God to bring me to this realization.
The prayers of the people this last week were so humbling - literally humbling. Sure, the drop off in pain has been wonderful. But will it last? Who knows. But I'm appreciative and grateful for the prayers. Just knowing that someone loves you enough to pray to God for you is an incredible blessing. And these are just regular folks. It's not like they're my best friends at church. In fact, we have only been going to this church for a few months now. We're completely new to this area. We live 2600 miles away from any family.
But now, the people who pray for us (me specifically) feel like family. Brothers and sisters in the family of Jesus. I hope they know how much I love and appreciate them. More importantly, I hope my Lord and Savior knows how much I love and appreciate him. What a wonderful savior. My life is changed.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Treating the Pain Like Any Other Pain
Every once in a while, I think of the pain I have. Well, actually I think about it all the time, but what I mean to say is, I try to think about the pain like any other pain. For instance, what if I had chronic nerve pain in my arm or calf. Would I be as annoyed by it? Would it dominate the landscape of my life? Why can't I just think of it like it's an old sport injury from college?
I think the problem is because a sports injury is an acceptable part of the game. There's a chance you might end up with a twisted knee or high ankle sprain or worse. I never knew the world of PVPS even existed. The concept of chronic pain or inflammation was never explained to me when I made the decision to have the snip or the reversal. So it's hard to keep in the same frame of mind. But I try nonetheless.
What kills me about the nerve pain is that I got it after my reversal. So in a way, I feel like I made a bad decision on top of an already bad decision. Like throwing good money after bad. This is turn creates a certain degree of beating oneself up. Not the best place to be mentally considering all the other garbage going on.
Today, I find myself recovering from a Saturday hike in the woods. Like an idiot, I tried to move a small tree that was obstructing the path of our vehicle. My wife and kids helped me, but I gave it a good strain. (Another bad decision). Anyway, I didn't feel any pain then, but I did feel a little pull in my groin yesterday evening when we arrived home.
This morning, I'm back to wearing the athletic supporter. I keep getting breath-taking pains whenever my left testicle moves forward and up within my scrotum. I have taken it easy today - to say the least. I'll probably take an ibuprofen tonight and then reboot tomorrow with a gentle walk around the neighborhood.
I've also had right sided inguinal pains, but nothing to write home about. So it's been two relatively good weeks before I screwed it all up yesterday. That's one of the tough things, when you're not having pain, you think you can do all the stuff you used to be able to do. It's a subtle trap that catches you off guard, when you're not paying attention. Then "whammo" you do something stupid like try to move a log off the road.
But, in trying to keep a little perspective, like I talked about last time, I will read a little more in my Bible and pray a little more to God. I just found out that a lady was praying specifically for me all week long last week. Not surprisingly, I had one of my best weeks in a long, long time. Time to get back on my knees and go to the Lord for some more help.
I think the problem is because a sports injury is an acceptable part of the game. There's a chance you might end up with a twisted knee or high ankle sprain or worse. I never knew the world of PVPS even existed. The concept of chronic pain or inflammation was never explained to me when I made the decision to have the snip or the reversal. So it's hard to keep in the same frame of mind. But I try nonetheless.
What kills me about the nerve pain is that I got it after my reversal. So in a way, I feel like I made a bad decision on top of an already bad decision. Like throwing good money after bad. This is turn creates a certain degree of beating oneself up. Not the best place to be mentally considering all the other garbage going on.
Today, I find myself recovering from a Saturday hike in the woods. Like an idiot, I tried to move a small tree that was obstructing the path of our vehicle. My wife and kids helped me, but I gave it a good strain. (Another bad decision). Anyway, I didn't feel any pain then, but I did feel a little pull in my groin yesterday evening when we arrived home.
This morning, I'm back to wearing the athletic supporter. I keep getting breath-taking pains whenever my left testicle moves forward and up within my scrotum. I have taken it easy today - to say the least. I'll probably take an ibuprofen tonight and then reboot tomorrow with a gentle walk around the neighborhood.
I've also had right sided inguinal pains, but nothing to write home about. So it's been two relatively good weeks before I screwed it all up yesterday. That's one of the tough things, when you're not having pain, you think you can do all the stuff you used to be able to do. It's a subtle trap that catches you off guard, when you're not paying attention. Then "whammo" you do something stupid like try to move a log off the road.
But, in trying to keep a little perspective, like I talked about last time, I will read a little more in my Bible and pray a little more to God. I just found out that a lady was praying specifically for me all week long last week. Not surprisingly, I had one of my best weeks in a long, long time. Time to get back on my knees and go to the Lord for some more help.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Keeping An Eternal Perspective
I did several things last week when I was at my wit's end. I thought I had a hernia and got it checked out. I was miserable and had to take a hydrocodone to alleviate the pain. I also started wearing an athletic supporter everyday. I read my Bible, specifically the Book of Job. I prayed a lot.
What are the results you might ask. Well, let me tell you. My pain dramatically decreased. I wore the athletic supporter for about 10 days. I stopped wearing it yesterday. Strangely, it felt better when I stopped wearing it. It's like the athletic supporter needed to brace me up a bit so my ligaments would stop being stretched or my nerves would stop being yanked around. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure what the athletic supporter does. I just know I've worn it twice since my reversal and I've felt better because of it.
Now, I'm not discounting the reading and prayer. Interestingly, after my rather lengthy talk with God a week ago Monday, I was in a much better frame of mind, spirit and body. I think he brought me to a place of understanding. Much like Job though, I'm not necessarily happy about what I understand. Rather, I'm just not experiencing as much mental strife.
If I don't continue to pray and read the Bible, I can see where I'll find myself in the same dark place of desperation. Even yesterday, I found myself getting quite angry over a twinge in my right groin. It was like, "Wow, I've had several good days and now, for no reason, I'm having this twinge. Why can't I catch a break?"
We're always looking to ask "why, why, why". I know that has been my favorite question these last 8 years. I don't really think it's our right to ask "why". I could be wrong, but I think we just need to accept what happens and realize that God will use it for his glory. A verse in Romans says something like, "...all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose."
Well, I love God. I feel called according to HIS purpose - some of the time anyway. The way I look at it these days, this will all work together for good. Some how, this nerve pain will work out to some better and higher purpose, according to Christ. Listen, I know this isn't your typical view on how to see something like chronic pain, but I really feel like this is it. It makes me sad to think about people who don't know Jesus, who don't know God as their father in Heaven. What kind of hope do they have?
If this nerve pain has twisted my spirit inside-out, and I'm a christian, what must it do to people who don't have an eternal perspective...who don't have a hope for something better? It's hard for me to conceptualize. But it doesn't mean God can't still work in their lives. It doesn't mean they have to be without that hope forever. I know that God loves all of us and wants the best for all of us, just like any good father. Unfortunately, our decisions get in his way sometimes, most of the time actually. So we suffer the consequences of our decisions. But, there's hope. We won't be confined to these bodies for eternity.
It's that hope in Christ that keeps me going...honestly. I'm not just trying to be preachy here, I really mean what I say. Without Jesus, I'm not sure what kind of bad place I'd be stuck in. Anger, resentment, depression, and self pity would be constant companions. As it is, they only come over for very brief visits. Thank God.
So today, I'm feeling a little pain in my groin. My left testicle gets that racking feeling periodically. I'm back to walking, with athletic support in place. I try to stay off the computer as much as possible. I guess that's about it. Good luck and God bless.
What are the results you might ask. Well, let me tell you. My pain dramatically decreased. I wore the athletic supporter for about 10 days. I stopped wearing it yesterday. Strangely, it felt better when I stopped wearing it. It's like the athletic supporter needed to brace me up a bit so my ligaments would stop being stretched or my nerves would stop being yanked around. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure what the athletic supporter does. I just know I've worn it twice since my reversal and I've felt better because of it.
Now, I'm not discounting the reading and prayer. Interestingly, after my rather lengthy talk with God a week ago Monday, I was in a much better frame of mind, spirit and body. I think he brought me to a place of understanding. Much like Job though, I'm not necessarily happy about what I understand. Rather, I'm just not experiencing as much mental strife.
If I don't continue to pray and read the Bible, I can see where I'll find myself in the same dark place of desperation. Even yesterday, I found myself getting quite angry over a twinge in my right groin. It was like, "Wow, I've had several good days and now, for no reason, I'm having this twinge. Why can't I catch a break?"
We're always looking to ask "why, why, why". I know that has been my favorite question these last 8 years. I don't really think it's our right to ask "why". I could be wrong, but I think we just need to accept what happens and realize that God will use it for his glory. A verse in Romans says something like, "...all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose."
Well, I love God. I feel called according to HIS purpose - some of the time anyway. The way I look at it these days, this will all work together for good. Some how, this nerve pain will work out to some better and higher purpose, according to Christ. Listen, I know this isn't your typical view on how to see something like chronic pain, but I really feel like this is it. It makes me sad to think about people who don't know Jesus, who don't know God as their father in Heaven. What kind of hope do they have?
If this nerve pain has twisted my spirit inside-out, and I'm a christian, what must it do to people who don't have an eternal perspective...who don't have a hope for something better? It's hard for me to conceptualize. But it doesn't mean God can't still work in their lives. It doesn't mean they have to be without that hope forever. I know that God loves all of us and wants the best for all of us, just like any good father. Unfortunately, our decisions get in his way sometimes, most of the time actually. So we suffer the consequences of our decisions. But, there's hope. We won't be confined to these bodies for eternity.
It's that hope in Christ that keeps me going...honestly. I'm not just trying to be preachy here, I really mean what I say. Without Jesus, I'm not sure what kind of bad place I'd be stuck in. Anger, resentment, depression, and self pity would be constant companions. As it is, they only come over for very brief visits. Thank God.
So today, I'm feeling a little pain in my groin. My left testicle gets that racking feeling periodically. I'm back to walking, with athletic support in place. I try to stay off the computer as much as possible. I guess that's about it. Good luck and God bless.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Why Won't This Go Away - A Prayer
So I was feeling better, over a goodly period of time...probably a couple of weeks. I thought my blogging about post vasectomy pain syndrome might be coming to a quiet end. Then something happened. I'm not sure what it was, but it has been bad ever since. Last Thursday or Friday, I went to walk on the treadmill as I was feeling better. I only stretched out my hamstrings, which never seems to trigger my scrotal/inguinal pain. But while I was stretching, I decided to do try the pec-deck. I didn't use very much weight, in fact, it was so easy of an exercise, I felt kind of foolish even doing it. I didn't feel anything straining at all.
Well, the next morning, I was feeling a very strange pain in my right inguinal area. Yep, another NEW pain, almost 12 months post reversal. This one hurt like nothing ever else has. The pain was both hurtful and bothersome, because it brought fear with it. Real fear. Like get on your knees and pray to God kind of fear.
I couldn't sleep very well. Every time I would lay on my side, the pain would be to excruciating. Rate it about a 5-6 that, if I didn't return to lay on my back, would have continued to escalate to some number much higher. At 6:30, I got up and sat down on the sofa and tried to adjust the pillows so I was reclining. That seemed to help and I was able to get to sleep. I felt better in the morning, but not by much. The fear was still gripping and the pain was still reminding me it was there. I took some Tylenol, hoping for the best.
Well, now it's Sunday night and the pain is not as intense or frequent, but it is still there. A new twinge to be sure. But there's something about this one that scares me. I've prayed to God about it and I just don't know what to make of it. It almost feels like my mesh (from my 20 year old inguinal surgery) is coming loose or ripping away.
Needless to say, I'm a little shell shocked. I'm trying to forget it and focus on Christmas, reading a new book, praying, etc. But in the back of my mind, I have this fear. Even now as I type, my inguinal area on my left side is starting to feel very similar to the right side from a couple days ago.
I don't think the new exercise had anything to do with the pain. But perhaps I'm walking too fast on the treadmill? Next time I walk, I'm going to try to slow it down a bit. See if that doesn't help. I'm also not going to lift anything heavy or strain or squat. I need to keep moving, keep living, I can't just shut it down, even though that's what my mind is telling me to do. My whole life has been about shutting down when the pain became too intense or the trouble seemed to insurmountable. I know I can't do it this time.
This seems to be the lesson God is trying to teach me lately. "Don't shut down, keep plugging away. Life goes on and I have work for you to do." Now what that work is exactly, I'm still not sure. But I can't just implode, withdraw from the family or my faith. God loves me and my family loves me. I can't let this pain keep me from being available to them. Funny how pain makes you shut down. Yet I see football players play with cracked ribs, sprained knees, etc. and they're just plugging away. What makes them persevere when adversity and pain strikes, while I (and others, I'm sure) simply crater?
God, please help me to have strength. Please give me wisdom and understanding. I've prayed for this pain to go away, and it has gotten better, overall. I praise you for that. Yet, here I am with new pains and new fears. Build my faith and help me to trust you, even when the pain gets extreme. Help my unbelief. Help me to live for you, despite having this thorn in my flesh. I pray your will be done and your name be glorified because of what I'm going through. I know my strength is lacking, I want to succumb to the fear, to withdraw from everything and everyone...to feel sorry for myself. No one would blame me. But help me to put those days behind me. Grant me new life and joy. Fill me with joy I pray. Fill me with zest for life and the ability to cope and move past what I fear I cannot move past. Remove the fear and replace it with joy. Joy in your son, Jesus the christ. My savior and Lord. Thank you God, thank you. Amen
Well, the next morning, I was feeling a very strange pain in my right inguinal area. Yep, another NEW pain, almost 12 months post reversal. This one hurt like nothing ever else has. The pain was both hurtful and bothersome, because it brought fear with it. Real fear. Like get on your knees and pray to God kind of fear.
I couldn't sleep very well. Every time I would lay on my side, the pain would be to excruciating. Rate it about a 5-6 that, if I didn't return to lay on my back, would have continued to escalate to some number much higher. At 6:30, I got up and sat down on the sofa and tried to adjust the pillows so I was reclining. That seemed to help and I was able to get to sleep. I felt better in the morning, but not by much. The fear was still gripping and the pain was still reminding me it was there. I took some Tylenol, hoping for the best.
Well, now it's Sunday night and the pain is not as intense or frequent, but it is still there. A new twinge to be sure. But there's something about this one that scares me. I've prayed to God about it and I just don't know what to make of it. It almost feels like my mesh (from my 20 year old inguinal surgery) is coming loose or ripping away.
Needless to say, I'm a little shell shocked. I'm trying to forget it and focus on Christmas, reading a new book, praying, etc. But in the back of my mind, I have this fear. Even now as I type, my inguinal area on my left side is starting to feel very similar to the right side from a couple days ago.
I don't think the new exercise had anything to do with the pain. But perhaps I'm walking too fast on the treadmill? Next time I walk, I'm going to try to slow it down a bit. See if that doesn't help. I'm also not going to lift anything heavy or strain or squat. I need to keep moving, keep living, I can't just shut it down, even though that's what my mind is telling me to do. My whole life has been about shutting down when the pain became too intense or the trouble seemed to insurmountable. I know I can't do it this time.
This seems to be the lesson God is trying to teach me lately. "Don't shut down, keep plugging away. Life goes on and I have work for you to do." Now what that work is exactly, I'm still not sure. But I can't just implode, withdraw from the family or my faith. God loves me and my family loves me. I can't let this pain keep me from being available to them. Funny how pain makes you shut down. Yet I see football players play with cracked ribs, sprained knees, etc. and they're just plugging away. What makes them persevere when adversity and pain strikes, while I (and others, I'm sure) simply crater?
God, please help me to have strength. Please give me wisdom and understanding. I've prayed for this pain to go away, and it has gotten better, overall. I praise you for that. Yet, here I am with new pains and new fears. Build my faith and help me to trust you, even when the pain gets extreme. Help my unbelief. Help me to live for you, despite having this thorn in my flesh. I pray your will be done and your name be glorified because of what I'm going through. I know my strength is lacking, I want to succumb to the fear, to withdraw from everything and everyone...to feel sorry for myself. No one would blame me. But help me to put those days behind me. Grant me new life and joy. Fill me with joy I pray. Fill me with zest for life and the ability to cope and move past what I fear I cannot move past. Remove the fear and replace it with joy. Joy in your son, Jesus the christ. My savior and Lord. Thank you God, thank you. Amen
Friday, November 18, 2011
Worst Day to Best Day, Sort of...
Yesterday was terrible, no denying it. Today has been pretty good, except for when I sit for too long. So I've been standing and walking around the house. That has helped. The problem is, I'm sick. Got a cold or flu or something. So I want to sit down or lay down, actually. But I know that will make my pain worse. So I've been the definition of the "walking wounded".
I haven't taken any medicine today because I've felt pretty decent. So to sum up, today hasn't been bad. I've been coping the best I can and trusting God to help me get through. I think it's the last thing that helps the most.
I haven't taken any medicine today because I've felt pretty decent. So to sum up, today hasn't been bad. I've been coping the best I can and trusting God to help me get through. I think it's the last thing that helps the most.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Back From Camping
Ah, the great outdoors. Camping in the fresh air, smores over a campfire, the sound of a rushing river. It all adds up to a good time. I wondered how I would do, with the nerve pain and all. I wondered if I would over exert myself; mis-step on a slippery rock; lift something too heavy. But I didn't. I was careful, but not overly. It wasn't like a gave a whole lot of thought to my PVPs. It was one of those times when I actually felt normal.
The only time I was reminded of my pain was when I laid down to sleep at night. I squeezed into my "mummy" styled sleeping bag, on our Coleman air mattresses. I tried to get comfortable, but I didn't bring a pillow to place between my knees. So I slept fairly uncomfortably. Woke up a lot. Had to pee like a racehorse in the middle of the night (but it was too cold to get out of the tent). But once 6 am hit and I was able to get up, go to the bathroom and start my second roaring fire of the camping trip, I was back in normal mode. Didn't give my pain a second thought.
We had a good mix of walking, standing, and sitting. It seems like when those three activities are intermingled a lot, then my pain is substantially lessened. Too much of one though and the whole balance gets messed up. Once I get done blogging, I'm going to hit the hay and get a good night's sleep (Lord willing) to make up for last night. But I'll have my pillow all set up.
Still taking the vitamin and feeling my energy level staying high along with my mental sharpness. Praying a lot. In fact, my family and I had a great little Sunday service around the campfire this morning. It was awsome. My son gave the opening pray, my daughter led us in a song, I read about David escaping from Saul and my wife closed us in prayer. Just a neat, neat time - best part of the trip to be sure.
No pain to report today - thank you Jesus. Hoping for more of the same this week.
The only time I was reminded of my pain was when I laid down to sleep at night. I squeezed into my "mummy" styled sleeping bag, on our Coleman air mattresses. I tried to get comfortable, but I didn't bring a pillow to place between my knees. So I slept fairly uncomfortably. Woke up a lot. Had to pee like a racehorse in the middle of the night (but it was too cold to get out of the tent). But once 6 am hit and I was able to get up, go to the bathroom and start my second roaring fire of the camping trip, I was back in normal mode. Didn't give my pain a second thought.
We had a good mix of walking, standing, and sitting. It seems like when those three activities are intermingled a lot, then my pain is substantially lessened. Too much of one though and the whole balance gets messed up. Once I get done blogging, I'm going to hit the hay and get a good night's sleep (Lord willing) to make up for last night. But I'll have my pillow all set up.
Still taking the vitamin and feeling my energy level staying high along with my mental sharpness. Praying a lot. In fact, my family and I had a great little Sunday service around the campfire this morning. It was awsome. My son gave the opening pray, my daughter led us in a song, I read about David escaping from Saul and my wife closed us in prayer. Just a neat, neat time - best part of the trip to be sure.
No pain to report today - thank you Jesus. Hoping for more of the same this week.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Vitamins and Nerve Pain and a Prayer
More of the same. The bad cycle continues to makes its prescence felt, in spades! Yesterday, the pain was so intense, it buckled my knees, literally. Every time the pain hit, it rated a 9 on the 1-10 pain scale, with 10 being the worst imaginable pain. It was coming from inside my scrotum on the right, behind the teste, where that dreaded burning sensation resides. The pain came in waves and was unbearable. I eventually took a hot bath and a tylenol before I went to bed.
The inguinal nerve pain was persistent yesterday and today. The highly rated pain hasn't hit yet today - thank you Jesus! However, the pain I am having isn't hitting me and then going away. It's sticking around. I haven't taken any pain meds today. I did walk though. I'm covering about 2 miles in thirty minutes, or 4 mph. My heartrate gets up to about 120, which is a good aerobic spot for me. I did feel some pulling down below while I was walking though. I also felt fairly winded, more so than normal.
I just finished dinner and I think I'll take another hot bath and tylenol. As my mentor told me, you got to get ahead of the pain when using medications. We'll see what happens.
I'm curious if my activity yesterday had anything to do with the severity of my pain. I threw a nerf football around the front yard with my boy for about 20 minutes. I noticed the twisting motion in my torso when I would throw the ball. I'm curious if that twisting motion contributed to the pain? I know aggressive stretching of my torso will increase my pain levels, but I didn't think this twisting would.
I read today about how vitamins may help nerve function and repair. The experts, whomever they are, say that Vitamin C, E, B6 and B12 might be beneficial for those with nerve pain. So I took a multi-vitamin today. I know a lot of guys in the support group take vitamins. I guess I'll try the vitamins for the nerve pain and see if there is any help. I'll give it a good couple of weeks and report back on the blog.
My wife stops working her 10 hours shifts this week. Yea!! Now maybe I'll see her more at night. And...maybe she'll be less tired, if you know what I mean. Perhaps I'm not having enough intimate times with her. The guys on the support group say those with reversals should be having 2 ejaculations per week. I'm averaging 1 per 3 weeks since we moved up here. I've thought a lot about just taking things into my own hands, in that area, but I'm conflicted about that. As strange as it sounds, I even prayed about that this morning. I asked God if I should masturbate to see if that helped to alleviate the pain. I didn't feel convicted to do it, so I didn't. I am hopeful that my natural relationship with my wife will begin to tic up a bit now that her hours are going to be more normal.
Sorry for the long post. But lots going on in my brain and prayer life right now. Have a lot of stuff to sort through. Lord willing, he'll guide me and help me like he has so far. It's easy to forget about God when things are going great and then demand miracles when things go bad. Like my mentor told me, I need to be more level-minded both emotionally and spiritually.
When my pain goes away for a day or so, I begin to think, "hey, I'm healed. I've got no worries because this thing is behind me now." Then I have a day or two like yesterday and I remember how sucky this syndrome is.
Lord God, continue to be with me in the good and bad times. Help me to continously rely on your word to get me through the difficult times. I know you love me and want the best for me. Please use this syndrome for your glory and may I some how shine your light in my life as I deal with this. Grant me good days, I pray and make the bad days, not so bad. Help the other guys who have this problem too. May you be sought during their desperate times and may they find you not lacking in mercy and grace. May the peace of Jesus be with us all and may you remain our King and Lord. Amen.
The inguinal nerve pain was persistent yesterday and today. The highly rated pain hasn't hit yet today - thank you Jesus! However, the pain I am having isn't hitting me and then going away. It's sticking around. I haven't taken any pain meds today. I did walk though. I'm covering about 2 miles in thirty minutes, or 4 mph. My heartrate gets up to about 120, which is a good aerobic spot for me. I did feel some pulling down below while I was walking though. I also felt fairly winded, more so than normal.
I just finished dinner and I think I'll take another hot bath and tylenol. As my mentor told me, you got to get ahead of the pain when using medications. We'll see what happens.
I'm curious if my activity yesterday had anything to do with the severity of my pain. I threw a nerf football around the front yard with my boy for about 20 minutes. I noticed the twisting motion in my torso when I would throw the ball. I'm curious if that twisting motion contributed to the pain? I know aggressive stretching of my torso will increase my pain levels, but I didn't think this twisting would.
I read today about how vitamins may help nerve function and repair. The experts, whomever they are, say that Vitamin C, E, B6 and B12 might be beneficial for those with nerve pain. So I took a multi-vitamin today. I know a lot of guys in the support group take vitamins. I guess I'll try the vitamins for the nerve pain and see if there is any help. I'll give it a good couple of weeks and report back on the blog.
My wife stops working her 10 hours shifts this week. Yea!! Now maybe I'll see her more at night. And...maybe she'll be less tired, if you know what I mean. Perhaps I'm not having enough intimate times with her. The guys on the support group say those with reversals should be having 2 ejaculations per week. I'm averaging 1 per 3 weeks since we moved up here. I've thought a lot about just taking things into my own hands, in that area, but I'm conflicted about that. As strange as it sounds, I even prayed about that this morning. I asked God if I should masturbate to see if that helped to alleviate the pain. I didn't feel convicted to do it, so I didn't. I am hopeful that my natural relationship with my wife will begin to tic up a bit now that her hours are going to be more normal.
Sorry for the long post. But lots going on in my brain and prayer life right now. Have a lot of stuff to sort through. Lord willing, he'll guide me and help me like he has so far. It's easy to forget about God when things are going great and then demand miracles when things go bad. Like my mentor told me, I need to be more level-minded both emotionally and spiritually.
When my pain goes away for a day or so, I begin to think, "hey, I'm healed. I've got no worries because this thing is behind me now." Then I have a day or two like yesterday and I remember how sucky this syndrome is.
Lord God, continue to be with me in the good and bad times. Help me to continously rely on your word to get me through the difficult times. I know you love me and want the best for me. Please use this syndrome for your glory and may I some how shine your light in my life as I deal with this. Grant me good days, I pray and make the bad days, not so bad. Help the other guys who have this problem too. May you be sought during their desperate times and may they find you not lacking in mercy and grace. May the peace of Jesus be with us all and may you remain our King and Lord. Amen.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Burning Sensation After Vasectomy
It's a weird thing. Once you identify a cycle and can identify the clues, you just kind of sit back and wait. You wait for the next thing to happen. Right now, I'm just waiting to go into my bad cycle after a couple of weeks of feeling pretty good. I've had a couple of hints that it is on its way. So now I'm just waiting.
Well, I'm not exactly waiting. I'm still trying to be proactive in an effort to prolong the good part of my cycle for as long as possible. I'm taking hot baths, walking, I even took a tylenol last night because it was starting to hurt before I went to bed.
Yesterday I started getting those spasms in my scrotum, or at least what I imagine are spasms. I don't know for sure. But it feels like something behind my testes are vibrating rather quickly. So much so, that it sends a "warming" or burning sensation to my brain. When I start getting these, I know what's coming...pain.
In the past, I'd have these burning sensations for a couple of days before the never-ending nerve pain appeared. But as I like to say, I am hopeful that it won't happen this time. That walking and the hot baths will stave it off. We'll see. In actuality, I know that I have no real control over this. The walking and hot baths just make me feel like I'm able to do something about it, but I know the truth - I'm not in control. But I figure the walking is good for my heart and other parts and the hot baths do relax me a bit, so it's a win-win.
So far this morning, I'm doing okay. Just the rare "sensations" in my scrotum and inguinal areas. About to go for a walk, so pray with me that the bad cycle will stay away.
Well, I'm not exactly waiting. I'm still trying to be proactive in an effort to prolong the good part of my cycle for as long as possible. I'm taking hot baths, walking, I even took a tylenol last night because it was starting to hurt before I went to bed.
Yesterday I started getting those spasms in my scrotum, or at least what I imagine are spasms. I don't know for sure. But it feels like something behind my testes are vibrating rather quickly. So much so, that it sends a "warming" or burning sensation to my brain. When I start getting these, I know what's coming...pain.
In the past, I'd have these burning sensations for a couple of days before the never-ending nerve pain appeared. But as I like to say, I am hopeful that it won't happen this time. That walking and the hot baths will stave it off. We'll see. In actuality, I know that I have no real control over this. The walking and hot baths just make me feel like I'm able to do something about it, but I know the truth - I'm not in control. But I figure the walking is good for my heart and other parts and the hot baths do relax me a bit, so it's a win-win.
So far this morning, I'm doing okay. Just the rare "sensations" in my scrotum and inguinal areas. About to go for a walk, so pray with me that the bad cycle will stay away.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
In a Good Way - Thanks Be to God
I hate to even say this, but I'm in a pretty good way. It's like when you walk in on your favorite sports team and you discover they're winning the game, so you leave real quick because you don't want to jinx them; yeah, kind of like that. But in this case, I feel like this good way is because of the Lord. Why? Well, let me tell you.
I have really felt this strong desire to walk. I normally don't have strong desires for stuff. The only times I ever get them is when the Lord is nudging me along. It seems like the walking has really helped me with my pain and my overall confidence. I've known that it would probably help in the past, but I still didn't do it. So even though I don't want to say that I'm in a good cycle right now with my PVPS, I have to give credit where credit is due.
I'm doing this mens' study right now that is talking about prayer. Kind of weird, usually those prayer studies are for the women, but I have to say, I've been especially touched by the message thus far. I think I take prayer for granted when things are going well. I think everyone does. So, I'm going to start praying all the time.
Before I go any further though, here's my update. Today, I feel pretty good. A little twinge when I first get out of bed. Last night I felt pretty good too. We're going fishing today so I won't be able to walk per se'. But we'll probably hike a little bit to the fishing spot, which will be a good substitute. I may still walk tonight with the kids after dinner.
Lord God, I want to praise you for helping me to start a walking program. I know I couldn't have done it without you. You are my inspiration and my strength. You comfort me in my affliction and show me your mercies every day through Jesus, who washes my soul clean. Please be with those other men who suffer as well. Give them your comforting hand and help them to find ways to feel better. Lord God you are king in my life and maker of heaven and earth. Nobody is before you. You alone are God and to you I sing my praises. Amen.
I have really felt this strong desire to walk. I normally don't have strong desires for stuff. The only times I ever get them is when the Lord is nudging me along. It seems like the walking has really helped me with my pain and my overall confidence. I've known that it would probably help in the past, but I still didn't do it. So even though I don't want to say that I'm in a good cycle right now with my PVPS, I have to give credit where credit is due.
I'm doing this mens' study right now that is talking about prayer. Kind of weird, usually those prayer studies are for the women, but I have to say, I've been especially touched by the message thus far. I think I take prayer for granted when things are going well. I think everyone does. So, I'm going to start praying all the time.
Before I go any further though, here's my update. Today, I feel pretty good. A little twinge when I first get out of bed. Last night I felt pretty good too. We're going fishing today so I won't be able to walk per se'. But we'll probably hike a little bit to the fishing spot, which will be a good substitute. I may still walk tonight with the kids after dinner.
Lord God, I want to praise you for helping me to start a walking program. I know I couldn't have done it without you. You are my inspiration and my strength. You comfort me in my affliction and show me your mercies every day through Jesus, who washes my soul clean. Please be with those other men who suffer as well. Give them your comforting hand and help them to find ways to feel better. Lord God you are king in my life and maker of heaven and earth. Nobody is before you. You alone are God and to you I sing my praises. Amen.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
An Oldie but a Goodie
Well, well, well. An old friend returned to my rental house yesterday evening. I wasn't sure who it was exactly last night, but this morning, the blur became more clear. The old friend is of course not an old friend, but an old symptom that I haven't seen for a while. That would be the dreaded "racking pain" in my left testicle. What made it appear out of thin air? Your guess is as good as mine.
I did walk kind of briskly yesterday and felt a muscle kind of pull in my right groin. But that is the other side from where the racking pain is. So, there you go. Just when I told a family member that I feel like I have a handle on this post vasectomy pain syndrome, I'm left to eat my words. Never fails, does it? Just when you think it is all figured out, life throws you a curve ball.
Now if I remember correctly, ibuprofen helped with the racking pain. So, if it doesn't go away here in a bit, I'll take 400 mgs of advil and see what happens.
In the meantime, I slept ok last night. Was a little "uneasy" down there while in the shower and have had a couple stabs of sharp knifing nerve pain. Basically, a frustrating morning all told. But, thanks to my friend from my old church, I feel like I can cope with days like this better. I still thank God that he put John in my life. He's been a huge help for me.
Lord God, thank you for helping me learn how to cope with this syndrome. Thank you for easing the pain and the symptoms. Please continue to be with all of us who hurt and suffer from pain and disease. Remind us that you are in control and make your presence felt in our lives. Help us to see how you work and to understand how you are using this for your good. Bring us healing and give us strength. Be with John and his family as they deal with his chronic pain. May you be honored and glorified by our response. In Jesus name, Amen.
I did walk kind of briskly yesterday and felt a muscle kind of pull in my right groin. But that is the other side from where the racking pain is. So, there you go. Just when I told a family member that I feel like I have a handle on this post vasectomy pain syndrome, I'm left to eat my words. Never fails, does it? Just when you think it is all figured out, life throws you a curve ball.
Now if I remember correctly, ibuprofen helped with the racking pain. So, if it doesn't go away here in a bit, I'll take 400 mgs of advil and see what happens.
In the meantime, I slept ok last night. Was a little "uneasy" down there while in the shower and have had a couple stabs of sharp knifing nerve pain. Basically, a frustrating morning all told. But, thanks to my friend from my old church, I feel like I can cope with days like this better. I still thank God that he put John in my life. He's been a huge help for me.
Lord God, thank you for helping me learn how to cope with this syndrome. Thank you for easing the pain and the symptoms. Please continue to be with all of us who hurt and suffer from pain and disease. Remind us that you are in control and make your presence felt in our lives. Help us to see how you work and to understand how you are using this for your good. Bring us healing and give us strength. Be with John and his family as they deal with his chronic pain. May you be honored and glorified by our response. In Jesus name, Amen.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Not Much Improvement and a Prayer
Today I woke up with the reminding ache and pain in my groin. Quickly, I realized the nerve pain was going to be with me today. It is a little bit better than yesterday, but still hurts when I drive, walk, stand, sit - all too long.
I tried a hot bath last night, but the water wouldn't get hot enough - just one of the challenges we face in this new rental house. I'll try again tonite. In the meantime, I'm trying not to get too bummed out. Easier said than done.
Part of dealing with chronic pain is not letting yourself get too high or too low. My buddy from church taught me that. However, I had so many good days in a row, I have to admit that I'm kind of reeling with this new cycle of pain. I did think of something that might have triggered the pain though. I have been throwing the football in the backyard with my son and punting it in the air. Perhaps that isn't a good combo. The straining of my torso with throwing a football could be aggravating my inguinal area and the kicking motion with my right leg might be doing the same thing. I'll stop those for a while and see what happens.
This pain has brought me to a point of realizing I'm not completely well yet. Strange how your mind works. No pain for a week and you suddenly feel like all is well and you can go live a normal life. The pain has a way of bringing you back to earth pretty quickly. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I am very grateful for every day I live and breathe, etc. The good Lord has always blessed me with good friends, family and so on. So when I was feeling so good, I kind of began to take all his blessings for granted again. Not a wise thing to do, I've noticed.
Once more, thank you Lord God for all you do in my life. I just don't know what I would do without you leading and guiding me. Thank you most of all for your son, Jesus. Thank you that I have forgiveness and life in him. I am ever dependent on you and Jesus to get me through this present life. I know I am nothing without you.
Thanks for helping me get through this PVPS thing. Thanks for using it as a blessing for other people and I pray for healing for those other men who suffer from the same pain. For rabbit, Michael, Aston, and everyone else on the support group who are in pain, seeking guidance and reaching out to help so many men like myself. They have been a blessing to so many and have been used by you to minister to me. Thank you God for being such a good God. Help them with their pain and situations. Amen.
I tried a hot bath last night, but the water wouldn't get hot enough - just one of the challenges we face in this new rental house. I'll try again tonite. In the meantime, I'm trying not to get too bummed out. Easier said than done.
Part of dealing with chronic pain is not letting yourself get too high or too low. My buddy from church taught me that. However, I had so many good days in a row, I have to admit that I'm kind of reeling with this new cycle of pain. I did think of something that might have triggered the pain though. I have been throwing the football in the backyard with my son and punting it in the air. Perhaps that isn't a good combo. The straining of my torso with throwing a football could be aggravating my inguinal area and the kicking motion with my right leg might be doing the same thing. I'll stop those for a while and see what happens.
This pain has brought me to a point of realizing I'm not completely well yet. Strange how your mind works. No pain for a week and you suddenly feel like all is well and you can go live a normal life. The pain has a way of bringing you back to earth pretty quickly. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I am very grateful for every day I live and breathe, etc. The good Lord has always blessed me with good friends, family and so on. So when I was feeling so good, I kind of began to take all his blessings for granted again. Not a wise thing to do, I've noticed.
Once more, thank you Lord God for all you do in my life. I just don't know what I would do without you leading and guiding me. Thank you most of all for your son, Jesus. Thank you that I have forgiveness and life in him. I am ever dependent on you and Jesus to get me through this present life. I know I am nothing without you.
Thanks for helping me get through this PVPS thing. Thanks for using it as a blessing for other people and I pray for healing for those other men who suffer from the same pain. For rabbit, Michael, Aston, and everyone else on the support group who are in pain, seeking guidance and reaching out to help so many men like myself. They have been a blessing to so many and have been used by you to minister to me. Thank you God for being such a good God. Help them with their pain and situations. Amen.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Recovering From the Long Drive
Well I made it back to Texas and all of it's 104 degrees! Yikes, the pacific NW was so much cooler. Well, my nerve pain seems to be subsiding a little bit. Now I'm "JUST" having the prickly pain on the back of my scrotum on both the left and right side. I'm scheduled to meet with my friend from church in a little bit to discuss my mental outlook and the chronic pain. He's been such a blessing to me. I'll really miss him when we move up to the NW.
It's nice to have someone you can talk to in person about things like pain. The support group is great, but can be depressing sometimes when you hear about everyone else's problems. At first, it made me glad I wasn't having all their problems, now it just kind of overwhelms me a bit and gets me focused on my problem more. I think, that is part of my problem, I'm too keyed into my problem. I feel like I need to start viewing it as something I have, like a wart on a finger or a scar, rather than something I have to battle every day. I've discovered that is a little exhausting and makes matters worse - mentally that is.
I think that's what my friend has shown me. It just becomes a part of who you are and you deal with it and move on. Now granted, my pain isn't as bad as many in the support group, so it's probably easier for me to say that than them. I still feel bad for them and wish I could take their (and my) pain away. It's frustrating to see how this PVPS can affect so many people's lives in such a catastrophic manner, knowing there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So I pray for them and hope they'll get better.
Anyway, it feels good to be out of the moving truck and away from the moving boxes for a while. I know I'll have to drive back and unpack boxes. So I know the pain will probably come back in spades next week. But for now, I'm going to "enjoy" the little pain I'm having.
Lord, please help those men who are suffering from PVPS. Give them healing, relief from pain, and rest from the constant anxiety and frustration. None of us knew about this pain before our vasectomy, but now face the cold reality of living with it. Give us what we need to get through and may you be glorified by the process. May people come to know you because of what we're all going through. Continue to be with me as I learn to adjust and live with the challenges placed in my path. Help me to honor you and trust that you are a good father and want to give us good gifts. I pray that I'll become more aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for this ministry and thank you for your son, Jesus. It's in His name I pray...Amen.
It's nice to have someone you can talk to in person about things like pain. The support group is great, but can be depressing sometimes when you hear about everyone else's problems. At first, it made me glad I wasn't having all their problems, now it just kind of overwhelms me a bit and gets me focused on my problem more. I think, that is part of my problem, I'm too keyed into my problem. I feel like I need to start viewing it as something I have, like a wart on a finger or a scar, rather than something I have to battle every day. I've discovered that is a little exhausting and makes matters worse - mentally that is.
I think that's what my friend has shown me. It just becomes a part of who you are and you deal with it and move on. Now granted, my pain isn't as bad as many in the support group, so it's probably easier for me to say that than them. I still feel bad for them and wish I could take their (and my) pain away. It's frustrating to see how this PVPS can affect so many people's lives in such a catastrophic manner, knowing there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So I pray for them and hope they'll get better.
Anyway, it feels good to be out of the moving truck and away from the moving boxes for a while. I know I'll have to drive back and unpack boxes. So I know the pain will probably come back in spades next week. But for now, I'm going to "enjoy" the little pain I'm having.
Lord, please help those men who are suffering from PVPS. Give them healing, relief from pain, and rest from the constant anxiety and frustration. None of us knew about this pain before our vasectomy, but now face the cold reality of living with it. Give us what we need to get through and may you be glorified by the process. May people come to know you because of what we're all going through. Continue to be with me as I learn to adjust and live with the challenges placed in my path. Help me to honor you and trust that you are a good father and want to give us good gifts. I pray that I'll become more aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for this ministry and thank you for your son, Jesus. It's in His name I pray...Amen.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Back From Traveling
I'm back from my trip to the pacific NW. The flight wasn't terrible and I didn't experience much pain. That doesn't mean I didn't have my usual sensations and weird feelings down there. My left side felt like it was being squeezed from time to time and I'd get a little bit of nervey pain every once in a while on that left side. But rest and changing my positions seemed to help.
My right side continues to not hurt. I did have one instance yesterday where it hurt for a second or two, but I'm now over 2 weeks of no significant pain on the right side. Answer to prayer for sure. Now if we could just get that left side from feeling like it's in a vice.
This is the last week in our house before we move out and travel to Washington state to start our life over, sort of speak. Neither of us have jobs lined up. We're just moving and trusting God that He'll provide a way for us. This kind of goes against my style, but time to turn the reigns over to the creator of the universe, you know what I mean?
There are a couple of PVPS docs up that way, one in Portland and another in British Columbia. There used to be one in Seattle, but it sounds like he's semi-retired and not taking new patients. We'll see how it all works out.
I've hired moving truck loaders and unloaders so I won't have to do any moving work, except for driving the truck across country. But, someone from my old church is going to drive with me! Another answer to prayer for sure. I can't imagine making that drive all by myself - all 2400 miles, with car in tow.
Until next time.
My right side continues to not hurt. I did have one instance yesterday where it hurt for a second or two, but I'm now over 2 weeks of no significant pain on the right side. Answer to prayer for sure. Now if we could just get that left side from feeling like it's in a vice.
This is the last week in our house before we move out and travel to Washington state to start our life over, sort of speak. Neither of us have jobs lined up. We're just moving and trusting God that He'll provide a way for us. This kind of goes against my style, but time to turn the reigns over to the creator of the universe, you know what I mean?
There are a couple of PVPS docs up that way, one in Portland and another in British Columbia. There used to be one in Seattle, but it sounds like he's semi-retired and not taking new patients. We'll see how it all works out.
I've hired moving truck loaders and unloaders so I won't have to do any moving work, except for driving the truck across country. But, someone from my old church is going to drive with me! Another answer to prayer for sure. I can't imagine making that drive all by myself - all 2400 miles, with car in tow.
Until next time.
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