Thoughts About a Life Filled With Chronic Pain

"Hey, turn that frown upside down!". I can still hear those words spoken to me by my 1st grade elementary school teacher, almost 38 years ago. What's another idiom, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Those are great sayings. They designed to help you get out of the bad mood you're in. I find that bad moods can be a comforting blanket you wear when you have chronic daily pain. After all, who can blame you? You're in pain all the time or at least severe pain part of the time. You have every right to be blue and regretful. But being sad, angry or dispondent doesn't do you any good now does it?

Trust me, I've felt all those things. But I'm realizing that you can't let it - the pain - tell you how to live your life. I've had lots of well intentioned people try to help me understand that. When I heard them, all I really heards was "blah, blah, blah". Because they didn't know what I was going through. The only person who really helped me, and I mean - REALLY - was my buddy from my old church. The one I went to before we moved up here to the pacific northwest. Seeing him deal with his pain, was inspiring. But even then, I still was only making baby steps torward this idea. I think that is just something you kind of have to get to yourself.

I believe I am finally gettting to the point now where I see that I can still have a fruitful and abundent life, in spite of my circumstances. My faith in Jesus has helped me with this growth. Just knowing that he's there for me on a moment by moment basis; very reassuring and comforting.

I've had a busy moring with little sitting so my report is a good one. My right groin is a little sore, but I think it's actually from walking yesterday and is a muscular type of pain. Wow, what a switch. It is still tender, but in a good way - if that makes any sense.

My Vasectomy Pain Testimony

I sit here thinking about what has helped my pain the most and it's an easy runaway. But before I reveal this, I need to get the business of journaling my pain out of the way. Yesterday was okay, despite mowing the lawn the day before. That really caused a lot of strain Tuesday night. But like I said, yesterday was good. I had a little pain when I did a lot of prolonged standing. And I didn't get my walk in which probably didn't help. But today I plan to walk. I am having that little spasm feeling behind my right testicle again today. So I don't think my bad cycle is quite over yet, but Lord willing, I'll get through this. Day by day, prayer by prayer.

Okay, now you may not agree with me on this and you may think I'm an ignorant so-and-so for saying this...but God has truly helped me the most. It seems like the older I get the more I realize how much I need him in my life. I don't want to get preachy, rather, I just want to explain how I've been able to deal with all this "stuff" in my life.

If there wasn't any hope for something better, then I would probably just go crazy. I would be consumed by "self", which is never a good thing. I've learned that the hard way over my lifetime. But having an eternal perspective coupled with real life experiences with God, makes one realize that his presence is very real; despite the naysayers.

I heard it put this way before:  when a hunting dog is on point, he is the only one that knows the bird is in the bush over there. The hunters can't see the bird because the brambles are too thick and dense. But just because everyone else can't see it, it doesn't mean the bird isn't there. Because the dog is in tune with the bird and knows how to sense it. So the hunters instruct the dog to flush the bird so then everyone can see it.

That's how I feel with my faith. I feel like I'm in company with a bunch of other people who are in tune with the creator of the universe. We've adjusted our senses to see the signs and experience his presence. But we live with a bunch of other people who aren't tuned in and just think we're barking up the wrong tree. That doesn't make them bad people, just not tuned in people.

Well, I have had tons of experiences with God to know he's real. Everything from relationships to work. Even our move to the NW was filled with things that only God could work out. Despite my pain, I know he's there for me. To comfort me and lift me up. Trust me, there are days when I'm not sure I want to be comforted, but there he is anyway.

So if you want to know how I deal with all this pain and anguish, it's simply knowing that I have a loving God who cares for me. So much that he sent his only son, Jesus, to take my punishment for all the bad stuff I've done. The grace and love and mercy I've been shown by God is unbelievable.

I wasn't going to blog about this particular subject today, I was going to blog about vitamins, but it just seemed like maybe there is someone out there who needs to hear this. So if you are that one, remember God loves you. Jesus loves you. You will get through this. Maybe not the way you'd like or the way you hope, but you'll get through it. All courtesy of the Lord above who is just waiting for you to be tuned in to ask him for help.

Home From Church

I'm back from church. As expected, it was filled with pain. Not because I didn't get a lot out of it, but rather, sitting down for so long after a busy Saturday. I think I've learned my lesson.

No more heavy work around the house, no matter what. In church today, the pastor talked a lot about how Jesus lifts your burden. Take home message was, he wants our church to be a place that lifts the burdens of people, just like Jesus does. So, I think I'll take them up on it. I think I'll ask some men around the church to help us out as we try to get our house ready for sale.

I've got to stop letting my silly pride think I am invincible when right now I just need to be taking it easy. The simple convention that says, you are fully recovered after a standard surgery after 6-8 weeks, just does not apply to scrotal surgery. Too many nerves involved. Not to mention it's in your core, so everything seems to be connected to it.

I took tylenol twice yesterday and felt great, but I knew there would be fall out today. I have been in constant pain since I woke up this morning. Coincidentally, my wife and I were together last night. As usual, my right side feels great after we're together, but my left side gets quite an ache. However, it is probably because I over did it yesterday. My left testicle feels like it is constantly getting squeezed and released every 30 seconds or so. I've taken some more tylenol and am hopeful it will resolve my pain.

The rest of the day will be spent on the computer as I've been putting off doing our taxes. But I can't put it off any longer. We also have a driving trip planned  to Tennessee to see if that's where we want to move. My poor wife will probably have to drive most of the way though. Again, I'll have to keep my pride in check and let her do that for me, even though I feel a ton of guilt about it.