I'm Getting Worried

This morning I woke up with a pain that I haven't had for quite a long time. The last time I had this pain was after my vasectomy reversal when I felt this hard cord like thing coming into my right testicle. Well, the hard cord thing isn't there now, well sort of, there is something firm there. I'm just not sure what. Anyway, I'm having a lot of referred pain throughout my entire right inguinal/groin area, even down into my right thigh.

This has me worried. It reminds me of congestive pain, like maybe my reversal is failing. However, I've tried very hard to put that idea out of my mind. The last thing I want to think about is my reversal failing. I've heard other guys talk about it and it isn't pretty. Not to mention you have to have another reversal and since I had nerve pain after my first reversal, I'm not too keen on the idea of having to risk another surgery. So, I just pray that it is something else. Just some kind of nerve pain is all.

Meanwhile, I've taken a hot bath and some tylenol. I've also taken it very easy today. Nothing too strenuous, just sitting around while I did homeschool with the kids. Luckily, I don't have a "real" job which would probably only exacerbate my symptoms. I suppose I should continue to thank God that I don't have a job.

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with anything. But I am no longer sitting at the computer. I've got is set up so I stand now. However, I just noticed that I lean forward when I type. I've noticed that leaning forward (like to look into a mirror up close) makes my nerves hurt more. It seems that any undue pressure on my core, even simple leaning, tends to make them angry. Maybe I'll go back to sitting down again. See if that changes anything. It's just hard to know what is causing your symptoms, you know what I mean? This makes post vasectomy pain syndrome very frustrating. But then I guess syndromes aren't meant to be cute and cuddly, otherwise they wouldn't be labeled as syndromes.

Still though, I wish someone would make a break through. Like most people in this situation, I hate living in a nebulous world where the slightest little thing can set the pain off.

Burning Sensation After Vasectomy

It's a weird thing. Once you identify a cycle and can identify the clues, you just kind of sit back and wait. You wait for the next thing to happen. Right now, I'm just waiting to go into my bad cycle after a couple of weeks of feeling pretty good. I've had a couple of hints that it is on its way. So now I'm just waiting.

Well, I'm not exactly waiting. I'm still trying to be proactive in an effort to prolong the good part of my cycle for as long as possible. I'm taking hot baths, walking, I even took a tylenol last night because it was starting to hurt before I went to bed.

Yesterday I started getting those spasms in my scrotum, or at least what I imagine are spasms. I don't know for sure. But it feels like something behind my testes are vibrating rather quickly. So much so, that it sends a "warming" or burning sensation to my brain. When I start getting these, I know what's coming...pain.

In the past, I'd have these burning sensations for a couple of days before the never-ending nerve pain appeared. But as I like to say, I am hopeful that it won't happen this time. That walking and the hot baths will stave it off. We'll see. In actuality, I know that I have no real control over this. The walking and hot baths just make me feel like I'm able to do something about it, but I know the truth - I'm not in control. But I figure the walking is good for my heart and other parts and the hot baths do relax me a bit, so it's a win-win.

So far this morning, I'm doing okay. Just the rare "sensations" in my scrotum and inguinal areas. About to go for a walk, so pray with me that the bad cycle will stay away.

Good Cycle Ending?

Well, I've had a nice little run of good days in a row. I think it's about two weeks long now. But there are signs that it may be coming to an end. For example, during church on Sunday, my right inguinal side felt pretty bad. No knifing nerve pain, but rather, it felt like someone was twisting my insides with a pair of pliers. I had to stand up and walk around before it finally went away. Then, the rest of the day was okay.

Meanwhile, last night, I had a nocturnal emission. I haven't had an E.J. for quite a while, so maybe this was God's way of helping me out. However, now I'm having various sensations in my inguinal areas. I just finished taking a hot bath, hoping that helps. I will probably also take a tylenol. I have a stye on my eyelid too, so maybe the tylenol will help with that pain too. I'm only going to take 1 500 mg tablet though. I want to see if that works as well as the 1000 mgs.

I'll also go for a walk today after I get done blogging. See if that doesn't help too. The last time my good cycle ended, I had a lot of pain and I was quite miserable. But maybe the walking and proactive hot baths will postpone the end or at least make it not as bad as last time.

Staying Positive

It's hard to stay positive when you're in pain. I don't know how people do it. The guy from my church who helped me out so much was a living example of that. He was very positive despite having pain that would cripple most people, including me. I think how weak minded or weak spirited I am to crumble when I get the little bit of pain that I do experience. But I was never taught how to keep a positive attitude when life throws you a curve ball. Thankfully, my friend from my old church helped me quite a bit.

But we've moved and I don't have that quick resource anymore. No more bull sessions on the sofa when I could pour out my feelings and frustrations. There is something to be said for having an outlet, someone to talk to who can help you over the rough patches.

I finally broke down and took some tylenol this morning. I have had constant pain for the last couple of days and I remember my friend telling me you need to break the cycle of pain. The nerves won't do it by themselves. So, I took some tylenol. We'll see if it helps.

I went for a long walk yesterday (50 minutes). Strange, but I had some chest pain while I was walking along with my usual scrotal pain. I'll have to keep an eye on this chest pain stuff. Today, I walked for 30 minutes and stretched out afterwards. I'm going to try to slim down a bit, see if that doesn't help also. Right now, I've got the 40 year old ponch above my beltline. People still think I'm skinny, but I do have some belly fat to lose. If I slim down, that may help with how much tugging takes place below the belt line. I don't know. If nothing else, the walking and diet should help my heart.

I'm good at starting things, but not finishing them. I hope I can keep this going. I think it will be a real coup if I could.

My pain today feels like my scrotum is being ripped off from my groin. Doesn't that sound like fun? Ripped might be too harsh of a description though. It's more like I feel the weight of gravity on my scrotum, like it is being pulled away from my body and the skin is being stretched about as tight as it can. But upon visual inspection, my scrotum looks "normal". The pain does make it difficult to keep a positive outlook though. With every pain, I feel like something bad is happening, rather than just realizing the nerves are being irritated as per normal. Anyway, I hope walking, stretching, hot baths and the tylenol will help break this bad cycle I've been in lately.

Becoming Mentally Stronger

Despite the racking pain I had yesterday, I decided not to take any ibuprofen. Toward the end of the day, I was still having pain, but it wasn't effecting me mentally like it usually does. Normally, I get despondent and have a little pity party for myself. Then I start wishing I had never had a vasectomy in the first place. Then I reply what my life would have been like if I had only gone with my gut and not had the vasectomy.

Yesterday was different though. I fought through the feelings of regret - it doesn't mean I didn't have them. I just didn't let them overcome me. I think the Lord has really helped me in that area. It is easy to live a life of regret, especially when your decisions are what got you in the mess you are currently in. Hopefully, I still have a whole life in front of me and that needs to be my focus, not the past 6 years.

So I had a hot bath last night. I went to bed. Took my kids to school this morning and now I've got stuff to do. I can't dwell and look back. Life is going too fast for that.

Today is still too early to say what kind of pain I'll have. So far, so good.

Still Taking Long Hot Soaks

It's over 100 degrees here in north Texas. You'd think a good hot soak would be the last thing on my mind. But, since I've been having the soaks, my daily pain seems to have subsided. However, I'm not sure how long the affect will last. Today, for instance, my left testicle is starting to get that "racking" sensation. Nothing horrible, just that dull sensation that so many of us with PVPS get.

Also, it is interesting to note that I've had what feels like a paper cut sensation on my scrotum in various places. This was accompanied by that little prickly pain. Both sensations disappeared after my soak though.

I can't tell you why I have pain and why I don't have pain. It remains a mystery. I do hope to find an expert in the pacific NW who can give me some advice though. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I think I may pop an ibuprofen for that left sided pain. I have to do a lot of driving around town today, so I know I'll be hurting later.

Just another day in the life of someone with PVPS. Let me tell you, it kinda s-u-c-k-s. Maybe this is something I'll talk to my friend from church about tomorrow. He's a great guy, I'm sure he'll have some insight in how to handle the ups/downs associated with chronic pain.