Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Work

I had just finished my first week of orientation at my new job. I thought it was progressing well. I haven't been having any pains at all in the groin or inguinal area. Very positive start to say the least. Then something happened on Sunday morning...I got the dreaded stomach virus that has this part of the country in its nasty, messy grip.

Lots of liquid exiting my system in just about every direction; not a pretty sight. I became most dehydrated and had to get an IV and some meds to turn the tide, as it were. So I'm laying there in the ER writhing as the next wave of stomach cramping churns through my gut, when all of a sudden, BOOM! PVPS came for the show. I guess it was all that convulsing, cramping, guarding, etc., as those nerves down there became quite active and reminded me that I was not free of the syndrome.  There would be no rest for this weary cat.

It was so surreal, like waking up from a bad dream. You think you are still dreaming, but you know you're awake, but you can't get your mind where it needs to be, to shut off the images warping across your brain. The pains were sharp and primarily located in the left inguinal and testicular area, although the right side did participate every once in a while. I was so miserable, the PVPS pain didn't really make a dent, other than to remind me that it could strike at will at a time of its pleasing.

Now the green is gone from my gills and I'm feeling better. Still some occasional stomach cramping, but nothing too serious. The PVPS symptoms are gone too, for now. I go back to work in a couple of days. Hopefully, no permanent damage was done by my retching this week.

Here's hoping you don't get the stomach virus or the flu this year. Because man, it sucks.

Why Won't This Go Away - A Prayer

So I was feeling better, over a goodly period of time...probably a couple of weeks. I thought my blogging about post vasectomy pain syndrome might be coming to a quiet end. Then something happened. I'm not sure what it was, but it has been bad ever since. Last Thursday or Friday, I went to walk on the treadmill as I was feeling better. I only stretched out my hamstrings, which never seems to trigger my scrotal/inguinal pain. But while I was stretching, I decided to do try the pec-deck. I didn't use very much weight, in fact, it was so easy of an exercise, I felt kind of foolish even doing it. I didn't feel anything straining at all.

Well, the next morning, I was feeling a very strange pain in my right inguinal area. Yep, another NEW pain, almost 12 months post reversal. This one hurt like nothing ever else has. The pain was both hurtful and bothersome, because it brought fear with it. Real fear. Like get on your knees and pray to God kind of fear.

I couldn't sleep very well. Every time I would lay on my side, the pain would be to excruciating. Rate it about a 5-6 that, if I didn't return to lay on my back, would have continued to escalate to some number much higher. At 6:30, I got up and sat down on the sofa and tried to adjust the pillows so I was reclining. That seemed to help and I was able to get to sleep. I felt better in the morning, but not by much. The fear was still gripping and the pain was still reminding me it was there. I took some Tylenol, hoping for the best.

Well, now it's Sunday night and the pain is not as intense or frequent, but it is still there. A new twinge to be sure. But there's something about this one that scares me. I've prayed to God about it and I just don't know what to make of it. It almost feels like my mesh (from my 20 year old inguinal surgery) is coming loose or ripping away.

Needless to say, I'm a little shell shocked. I'm trying to forget it and focus on Christmas, reading a new book, praying, etc. But in the back of my mind, I have this fear. Even now as I type, my inguinal area on my left side is starting to feel very similar to the right side from a couple days ago.

I don't think the new exercise had anything to do with the pain. But perhaps I'm walking too fast on the treadmill? Next time I walk, I'm going to try to slow it down a bit. See if that doesn't help. I'm also not going to lift anything heavy or strain or squat. I need to keep moving, keep living, I can't just shut it down, even though that's what my mind is telling me to do. My whole life has been about shutting down when the pain became too intense or the trouble seemed to insurmountable. I know I can't do it this time.

This seems to be the lesson God is trying to teach me lately. "Don't shut down, keep plugging away. Life goes on and I have work for you to do." Now what that work is exactly, I'm still not sure. But I can't just implode, withdraw from the family or my faith. God loves me and my family loves me. I can't let this pain keep me from being available to them. Funny how pain makes you shut down. Yet I see football players play with cracked ribs, sprained knees, etc. and they're just plugging away. What makes them persevere when adversity and pain strikes, while I (and others, I'm sure) simply crater?

God, please help me to have strength. Please give me wisdom and understanding. I've prayed for this pain to go away, and it has gotten better, overall. I praise you for that. Yet, here I am with new pains and new fears. Build my faith and help me to trust you, even when the pain gets extreme. Help my unbelief. Help me to live for you, despite having this thorn in my flesh. I pray your will be done and your name be glorified because of what I'm going through. I know my strength is lacking, I want to succumb to the fear, to withdraw from everything and everyone...to feel sorry for myself. No one would blame me. But help me to put those days behind me. Grant me new life and joy. Fill me with joy I pray. Fill me with zest for life and the ability to cope and move past what I fear I cannot move past. Remove the fear and replace it with joy. Joy in your son, Jesus the christ. My savior and Lord. Thank you God, thank you. Amen

Getting Over a Cold

As if nerve pain, lower back pain, chest palpitations wasn't enough, now I've still got this cold. I've been so tired and my activity level has been in the pits. Today though, I'm doing better. Still tired, but no constant coughing, sniffling, nose blowing, etc. It seems like my body tries to give me a break and only allows one set of symptoms at a time.

For example, this weekend, my cold dominated and I didn't really have nerve pain. My lower back was pretty good too. Now today, my cold is better, but my left inguinal nerve pain has made its presence felt a couple of times. On Sunday, my cold was getting a little better, but to compensate, I started having nerve pain in my "johnson". It was very disturbing. I hate that pain a lot. Luckily, it doesn't last very long and isn't too severe, but disturbing, none-the-less. Interesting, I had a nocturnal emission last night (although I don't remember, which is unusual, because I always remember). I'll be curious to see what happens to my symptoms because of it.

So, here I am, a shambles of a man, but joyful. Joyful, I still have my God watching over me. Joyful that he continues to bless me. Joyful that he helps me with my pain. Read the story of Job sometime. I could never identify with that story before this whole post vasectomy symptoms started. Now, I kind of get it. No matter what happens, we need to trust God. For only the good and perfect gifts we receive come from him. I'm not saying our faith won't be tested from time to time, but we must remain steadfast in our faith and understand that he loves us no matter what.

That gives me comfort and peace, that is, when I actually stop to think about it. The problem is, I don't stop to think about it as much as I should. There's a lesson in there somewhere for all of us.

Good Cycle Ending?

Well, I've had a nice little run of good days in a row. I think it's about two weeks long now. But there are signs that it may be coming to an end. For example, during church on Sunday, my right inguinal side felt pretty bad. No knifing nerve pain, but rather, it felt like someone was twisting my insides with a pair of pliers. I had to stand up and walk around before it finally went away. Then, the rest of the day was okay.

Meanwhile, last night, I had a nocturnal emission. I haven't had an E.J. for quite a while, so maybe this was God's way of helping me out. However, now I'm having various sensations in my inguinal areas. I just finished taking a hot bath, hoping that helps. I will probably also take a tylenol. I have a stye on my eyelid too, so maybe the tylenol will help with that pain too. I'm only going to take 1 500 mg tablet though. I want to see if that works as well as the 1000 mgs.

I'll also go for a walk today after I get done blogging. See if that doesn't help too. The last time my good cycle ended, I had a lot of pain and I was quite miserable. But maybe the walking and proactive hot baths will postpone the end or at least make it not as bad as last time.

Tough Couple of Days

So today I woke up in tremendous pain in my scrotum. I've had intermittent nerve pain on my left and right inguinal sides. I feel like my scrotum is about to explode and there's nothing that can be done about it. I think I'm just going to have to handle up on my own business because there is a real part of me that feels this is all congestion related symptoms.

I'd like to be patient and wait for my wife, and let that area of things progress naturally. But in talking with her, it doesn't look like she's much in the mood these days - as she's stressed out because she started a new job that is not entirely in her specialty or rather, comfort zone. So as much as I'd like to be with her or have her help me out, I don't think it's going to happen for another couple of weeks. So in the shower I go, I suppose.

Today, the tylenol helped quite a bit. It brought the pain down to tolerable levels. Thank God, the tylenol works for me. Some guys have to take major prescription kind of drugs just to get through. So I'll take that blessing any day of the week. I also used a heating pad, as I haven't been able to take hot baths like I did before. This rental house has a very small water heater, so the water doesn't get hot or deep enough to do the job. I did get some relief from the heating pad though. I was surprised. That or maybe the tylenol had kicked in. One or the other.

Anyway, this is the first I've sat down - which has probably also helped. I hope to have a good night's sleep with no straining. Tomorrow will be a new day and I pray it will be a good one...for us all. God Bless.

About As Expected

The hiking yesterday went as expected. I wore a jock just in case and took the tylenol just to be safe. By around 1 or 2, the tylenol had worn off and the nerve pain was back. I took off the jock and changed into some gym shorts from my jeans. I felt a little better afterwards, but not much. My wife had to drive us home.

Last night, I woke up around 2 a.m. having significant nerve pain on my left inguinal side. Today, my right side just kind of aches and my left side seems ok. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe a hot bath, maybe my wife and I need to be together more frequently (or should I take things into my "own hands" sort of speak?).

I'm kind of at a lost. Perhaps there is nothing I can do. Maybe it's just a cycle that I need to go through. The storm before the calm. Kind of backwards, I know, but that's all I got.

It Was Inevitable

Last weekend I had that burning sensation and now today I am having just flat out regular old fashioned right inguinal nerve pain. This time though, I can't pinpoint any one thing that might have irritated my nerves. Maybe it's just a cyclic thing. I know I saw some kind of a cycle in the early summer, but I was hopeful to have put that behind me.

Interestingly, I woke up this morning with nerve pain on my left inguinal area. However, it stopped pretty quickly. Then this right sided pain started around 10 am or so and then got progressively worse. I haven't had a hot bath in a while, maybe I'll try those again. I'll keep you posted.

It Didn't Take Much

My left side was teetering on the verge of hurting all day yesterday. I had that racking sensation earlier in the day and was nervous something bad might happen. Well, I shouldn't have been nervous...because something did happen. When I feel like I did yesterday morning, I should KNOW something bad will happen, rather than be nervous about it. I just need to accept the fact and move past it.

We are in the middle of packing up our house to move. All I wanted to do was move a couple boxes into an empty room to get them out of the way. Then it hit me. I could feel something kind of wriggle in my left inguinal area as I picked up a box. So I dropped the box. The wriggling pain didn't stay. So I picked up another box and it happened again. I should have stopped there, but the boxes had to be moved. However, I was very cautious and used proper technique. My physical therapist wife would have been proud of me.

But it was too late. The wriggle turned into a case of full on nerve pain and the racking sensation became more intense. I took some tylenol and went to bed. I had a good night's sleep, but today I still have some remnant pain.

This bites, because we have a lot of boxes to move. I was hoping to have some people from church help out with the bigger items, but it looks like I'll need them to do the entire loading of the truck for me. I just hate to ask them to do it. I'm sure they won't mind, but I still hate to ask. After all, I'm a 44 year old man, in the supposed prime of my life or at least on the down hill slope of the prime.

We'll see. On the good side, my friend from church is coming over today to talk with me about chronic pain. I want to ask him more about the physiology, as that has me pretty curious. Maybe if I can understand it more from a physiological standpoint, I can better protect myself from its affects.

I Know This Won't Come as a Shock to Anyone...

Okay, my wife and I got together Sunday morning. Finally, after three weeks since my last episode of horrible pain. Everything went without a hitch. No pain and no apprehension, which kind of surprises me as I was very concerned that pain was some how going to be involved. Okay, so the nerve pain on my right side is getting a little bit better, but...(and here comes the part that shouldn't surprise anyone), now my left side is starting to ache this nerve-like inguinal ache.

I swear, this gets you coming and going. Once you think one thing, something else happens. Then the whole cycle seems to just repeat itself. Part of the frustration I suppose that comes with any chronic condition. I still have to say that if I measure my progress in terms of months, this has been a better month than last. I didn't have to dip into the tylenol or ibuprofen as much, although I did have 2 fairly bad episodes early in the month that required me taking my post-op surgery pain medicine.

My hope is that every month will continue to show improvement in some way. Someone from my church had a heart attack and died this last week, so I know it could be worse and I don't want to sound whiney in this blog. Rather, it is a journal of my symptoms, so it's part therapy and part history. I want to be completely honest in this blog so I can check my progress.

Oh, I almost forgot, I went walking last night. If I read my journal correctly, I've had nerve pain after walking twice in the last 7 days. However, it still feels good to walk. The motion of moving my legs for an extended period of time is very gratifying. I hope the pain isn't related to the walking. I guess I'll try to keep tabs on that to see if there is a correlation. I need to start stretching out again, as that seemed to help before.

Inguinal Nerve Pain Persists

Well, the pain on my right side is still there. It feels like there is a knot where my scrotum connects to my groin on the right side. That's where the reversal took place. If I so much as look at it, it feels like something inside my scrotum is going to explode. Almost like there's a piece of scar tissue that's hanging on by a thread and it wants to tear off, but the thread is too strong and won't let it.

Ah, the joys of vasectomy pain, scrotum pain, reversal pain or whatever you want to call it. I told my wife that I was feeling very regretful over having my vasectomy in the first place. That feeling kind of hits me from time to time. Usually, when I see pictures of my former healthy self playing around without a care in the world. But as my friend always says, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Even though, it's hard to put out of your mind, permanently anyway. So I just keep praying the Lord will help me and that I'll be able to move forward, either healed or at least to the point where I can live a 90-95% normal life. Of course, that's my prayer for all of us who suffer from this or any other syndrome.

So, I'm sorry if you're sick. I'm sorry if you are struggling with pain or fear. I can certainly identify with you, on some levels anyway. I hope you get better and can trust in the Lord God, to help you get through it. I know He helps me.

Horrible Pain

Yesterday was terrible. I got home from church and started having this right inguinal pain again. But this time something was different. The pain didn't just ache. It also wasn't just a flash of nerve pain then lasted a few seconds and went away. This pain was becoming stronger in intensity. It felt like someone was twisting my vas deference with pliars and not letting go.

I would rate the pain a 7 on a 1-10 scale. It did not respond to tylenol or ibuprofen. I thought I might have needed a release because my wife and I had not been together after flirting around with each other a lot the night before. So in the shower I went, thinking that might help. It was painful in the lead up, but then I felt better - briefly. I took a very hot bath afterwards for about 10 minutes. However, nothing  seemed to help. I laid down in bed for about 2 hours, fell asleep. The nap was very restless as I felt I was about to have a real bad case of nerve pain.

Once I stood up, the pain started again. As the evening progressed, I found myself with increasing pain intensity. Finally, around 7:30 it peaked. I was actually crying and screaming because it was so painful. I wish I were joking here, but I'm not. It was one of the worst nights of my life. It felt like something was moving through my vas deference, akin to passing a kidney stone. Not that I've ever had a stone before, but something wasn't/isn't right. I had a bit of swelling on my right side, but now this morning, it seems to look like it has the last couple of months.

I finally had to take some of my post-surgical pain medicine to get some relief. I went to bed wondering how the night would go. I woke up this morning feeling okay. Okay that was, until I stood up. When I got out of bed, I felt the inguinal ache again. Not as bad as yesterday, but it's there. Then I bent my head downward to see if there was any swelling in the region and that made my inguinal pain worse.

So as long as I stand perfectly straight or lay down, I'm good. But if I bend over or look down, the inguinal pain intensifies. I think I'll be calling the doc for some advice.

Might it be my old inguinal hernia repair failing?
Is my vas becoming obstructed?
Is this some crazy new nerve pain?

I don't know the answers. I'm going to ask the people on the forum and see if they have any answers. I'll touch base later if I find out anything.


I finally had to take my post-op pain medicine to get some relief. But before I could take that medicine, I went through a literally "gut-wrenching" 5 minutes.