Time with the Wife

A lot of people wonder what it must be like to have this PVPS and then at the same time, be intimate with the wife. There are a lot of guys who have pain when they are in the act of intimacy. I haven't experienced that yet (thank the Lord). I say 'yet', because pains associated with PVPS can come out of nowhere and without warning.

Last night though, I probably had the closest thing to what I just described. When we were done, I began to have this intense sharp pain in the posterior area of my scrotum. It felt like someone sticking a pin in the back of my scrotal sack. It was very peculiar and not at all what I would like to experience again.

The pain level would probably rate a 3 on a 1-10 pain scale. It passed after about 10 minutes. It almost felt like I needed some scrotal support, as gravity did not make it feel any better.

Another point to make about intimacy with your wife is this, ejaculations do seem to help with the inguinal pain symptoms. I think it's because the prostate gets to release and shrink a little in size, and if there is any build up of sperm, it gets a chance to release as well. I have no science on this, just a theory for how it does seem to help with pain. But I know I can't push this too much. For example, if we are very active in a short period of time, I will actually experience more inguinal pain. So there is a certain degree of pacing that I need to practice in this area. It seems a steady pace works better for me (from a pain standpoint). Of course, other guys may and are probably different.

Mr. Johnson's Pain Is Gone, For Now

Thank goodness the pain in my...you know what (johnson), is finally gone. I had it for about 3-4 days. It wasn't bighting pain, but it was disturbing and uncomfortable. Enough that I took tylenol a couple of times to try to get rid of it. Now I've been essentially pain free for 2 days. I have little twinges in my right inguinal area for very brief periods, but that is it. I know I'm not out of the woods, probably just going through a good cycle. The pain in my penis may return at any moment as well.

My wife and I haven't been together at all since I last mentioned it, seems like several weeks ago. But when the weather is cold and the house is cold, there isn't a lot of lovin' going on in the house. It's like a hibernation period for her. I can't complain though, with all the aches and pains, it's hard for me to be in the mood too.

Long Overdue

Wow, a lot has happened since I posted last. I think it's been a couple of days since my last post. It's official, we've started homeschooling. Yep that's right, we're homeschooling. We gave the public school a chance, but it just wasn't working out. They're too worried about their statewide testing rather then making sure our kids are being challenged in the classroom. So we pulled them out and now I guess I have that "teaching" job I was hoping for.

I was right about teaching. It has a nice mix of standing and sitting. A little too much computer time, printing off worksheets and such, but I hope that will lessen as we move further into school and my ordered workbooks arrive. Right now, I'm having to create a lot of worksheets on the computer, which makes my nerves down there a little jumpy.

My wife and I have rediscovered our intimacy. We've been together twice this week, Monday and last night (Thursday). That makes three times since last Saturday. This would be considered a world-wind six days of togetherness for us. So I've had 3 E.J.s in six days and I've experienced a little bit of pain behind my testicles. It feels like a paper cut behind my testicles where they attach in the perianal area. I've had this sensation/pain before. It feels like my vas deference is in spasm. It comes and goes. This feeling is painful after a while, because it just seems to build and build. I've taken tylenol twice because it is kind of aggravating.

I've also had intermittent inguinal nerve pain on my left side. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night several times because of this inguinal nerve pain on the left side. But I rolled onto my side and the pain seemed to have gone away. Not sure why?

I've been walking pretty regularly. I even added a little running this last week. Not very far, just about 20 yards, but it felt really good. At least, while I was running. So I'm not sure if this paper cut feeling/spasm thing and nerve pain is a result of making love to my wife or from the little bit of running I've done. I think I'll stop the running and see what happens with the pain.

I haven't taken any hot baths in a while, I may try that too. So, this post is a little long and a little revealing, but I think it's important to document everything that happens in this online journal of mine, so I can track what impacts my pain levels and how. I had been in a good way the last time I posted. I can see little signposts ahead that look like a bad cycle is on it's way. But I hope it doesn't last very long. Lord willing. Lord willing.

Wife and I Test the Waters

We finally had our first relaxing weekend since moving to the NW. What I mean by that is we didn't have any activities planned and there wasn't really anything to do except just plow through the weekend. I had my bible study on Saturday morning and then we went shopping later on, had dinner out at Red Robin, then went home and put the kids to bed. Then my wife and I stayed up and talked, laughed and went to bed.

It had been a long time since my wife and I have been intimate - like 2 months. With the move and new job and all the stress, it just wasn't in the cards. But then there was last night. We were able to relax and settle in to our new life up here in the NW. It was kind of nice, like a new normal for our family, since leaving the hectic pace of Dallas, Texas. So my wife and I were able to reconnect last night. I was a little nervous, if you can believe it. But that was more about wondering whether my boys would be in pain afterwards. I have such a great run of good days lately, I thought having an E.J. might jeopardize that good streak.

Afterwards, I was a little sore down there. But the sensation passed. When I woke up this morning, I felt pretty good, except for a mild inguinal ache on the right side. It was short lived and went away after lunch.

Hopefully, things will continue to remain pain free and my wife and I can become a little more acquainted with each other in the coming days/weeks. It would be nice if we could. I love her dearly and have missed being with her in a close way. I always find our marriage is so much better when we are close, physically. I suppose it's the whole "the two shall be one" thing.

New Sensation Out of Nowhere

I'm now almost a full 10 months since my vasectomy reversal and I just had a new sensation/pain last night. My left teste felt "weird". Sorry, that's the best I can do to describe it. It only lasted about 1 minute and it didn't really hurt as much as it was kind of uncomfortable. But, that's all I have to report since my last post, so I'll take that as good news.

This cycle of feeling good has been wonderful. A nice departure from the bad part of the cycle. I hope it lasts a long time, but we'll see. I certainly don't want to get too high with how I'm feeling, because that just means I'll fall pretty far when I start having pain again.

My wife and I haven't been together yet, so I'm a little worrisome about what might happen when we do get together. Her work situation is calming down a lot and her hours are returning to a kind of normal now. So hopefully, she'll be less stressed out and we can return to our normal intimacy frequency. Again, we never set a lot of records in that area anyway. But this drought has been a little excessive - thanks to her new job.

Who knows, with the weekend coming up, maybe something nice will happen.

Good to Talk With the Wife

My wife and I had a nice little talk about where I am these days, last night. It was just one of those nice talks that you get with your wife every so often that reconnects you. Even though I wasn't enjoying the subject matter, vasectomy reversal pain, it was nice to know she is interested in how I feel. So check mark last night as a good night.

I'm still waiting for the other foot to drop, but it hasn't yet. So, I will stop waiting for the nasty monster to come out of the closet. Instead, I'm going to just keep living life and if the bad cycle comes, then so be it. I don't want to appear cavalier or over-confident. Rather, I think you just can't live your life thinking something bad is going to happen, because guess what, it probably will. But if it doesn't, then you've wasted all that time worrying. These are tough lessons for me, because I am by my very nature, a worry-wart. I'm not proud of it, mind you.

So, I'm going to go buy some camping gear and plan our camping trip, regardless of where the pain is. Then if it comes, I can deal with it then, otherwise, I'll just try to enjoy the good days I have.

Regarding pain, I had some dull right inguinal nerve pain when I woke up this morning. Nothing painful yet, it feels more like a pulled muscle. I also just had a wave of pain in my left teste, that was like a racking sensation. It hurt, but only for a second. Again, might just be the power of suggestion as I think about pain. Or it could be this dad-blamed computer chair. Even with an extra pillow on it, I can't stay seated in it for very long.

Steep Hike Was Rough

I just had something clarified yesterday. Walking good, steep hiking bad! Just when I thought my walking program was helping me to get in shape, I had an experience which humbled me quite a bit. My wife and I went fishing yesterday, but couldn't find a private spot, so we decided to go hiking instead. We wanted to take advantage of her day off from work and the weather was gorgeous, mid 60's with lots of sunshine.

We found a trail that had the right distance (2 miles) but was a little steep (20%), er make that a lot steep. We got about 12 minutes into the hike and I was huffing and puffing, my heartrate was somewhere around 120. Meanwhile my wife, who works out all the time, is yawning as we walk up the steep trail. What a contrast. I finally had to tell her, with wounded pride, that I couldn't go up any more and that it was time to turn back.

There were two reasons I needed to turn around. The first was my pitiful physical shape. That is directly related to the pain I've had related to my reversal. I haven't been able to be very (aerobically) active because of my previously described nerve pain. My aerobic threshold is still pretty low, despite the increased activity recently. I can tell I have a long way yet to go. Lord willing, I'll be able to get to the point where I can tolerate these kind of hikes in the future.

The second reason I was struggling on the hike was due to the groin pain I was experiencing with every climbing step. I remember when I started an exercise program in June with my kids, that squats seemed to cause me a lot of nerve pain. Well, picture this climb so steep that every step was like a semi squat. It felt great to use my leg muscles, but my groin was not enjoying itself.

I'm just glad I didn't let my pride get the best of me. I probably could have pushed through and then I'm sure I would have been in tremendous pain today. If this hike had occurred last year, then I know I would have let my pride hang me out to dry. So I think I'm make progress with my pride, thanks to God. He has really been showing me that pride is at the root of so many bad decisions.

So as it turns out, I had just a little left inguinal nerve pain last night when I laid on my left side. Then today, when I sat down, my left inguinal area experienced some more nerve pain. So lesson learned. I'm going to stick to flat surface walking/hiking for the time being. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to get my heart in shape, and by then, perhaps, my inguinal area will be less sensitive to such experiences.

Physical Therapy for Vasectomy Symptoms and Pain

Something has fascinated me about my vasectomy symptoms and pain, would physical therapy help or maybe even a chiropractor? Like, is something out of whack that is causing all this pain? And whatever is out of whack, can it get put back into proper placement. I spoke to a chiropractor friend of mine who said the likelihood of him being able to help me would be fairly remote. He did teach me some acupuncture that helps with pelvic pain in general, but beyond that, he said his hands were tied. I appreciated his honesty.

My wife is a physical therapist. So you might be thinking she may have some tricks up her sleeve to help me out. First of all, she's not one of those kind of physical therapists who work in an outpatient clinic. She's always been a hospital PT, you know, the ones who help patients get out of bed and start moving around. However, since we've moved up here, she has not been working at a hospital - they didn't have any jobs. She did hire on with an outpatient clinic.

Well, long story short, she was talking to one of those well experienced PTs who do a lot of what they call "manual therapy". It's the hands on, myofascial release type of stuff. Most of what they talk about goes completely over my head, and I'm in healthcare. Anyway, this PT had some very interesting manual techniques that she was showing my wife. That got us talking last night about whether PT might help my pelvic pain out. Perhaps there are some techniques that would work.

I know that pelvic floor exercises are supposed to be beneficial for PVPS. But I'm not entirely sure what those are. The next time my wife works with this lady, she's going to ask her some questions about my condition and whether PT would be helpful. So I guess, stay tuned for updates on this later.

Meanwhile, I slept pretty good and only have a little inguinal sensation on both sides if I sit too long. So you should know what that means by now, I need to stop sitting. I've actually set the kitchen timer to go off every 15 minutes. This forces me to get up and move around a bit, without having extended periods of constant sitting. As everyone knows, when you get on the computer, the time just flies, perceptually anyways. The timer has already gone off twice. So I walk around the house, climb the stairs, etc., when the timer goes off. Then I come back to the computer for another 15 minutes. It seems to be working so far. Until I get my laptop, I think I'll keep using this system.

Plowing the Field

Day 3 of walking and eating right is going well. I'm having a lot of nerve pain though. I think that might be related to the stretching I've been doing after my walk. It seems like stretching makes the nerve pain worse. I may skip that step today. But, I'm going to keep walking even if I continue to have pain. That's a hard thing for me to say and I guess, my resolve on this matter will be tested at some point.

Besides having post vasectomy pain syndrome, I also have cardiomyopathy - or at least I did. My heart seems to have rebounded nicely, according to my cardiologist. But with my extreme inactivity related to my PVPS, I've noticed that I get short of breath with very little activity. This makes me think that I've got to get my heart back in shape. Especially, if we want to be the outdoors family - hiking, camping, fishing, etc.

I spoke to my wife last night about what I've been going through: regarding my pain. I try not to bum her out too much with this kind of update, but it's important for her to know what I'm going through. So we usually have an update session once every month. She was very supportive of my intention to walk and become active again. She feels, as do I, that the nerve pain may be a barrier to my activity for a while, but it may get better over time. The more I walk, perhaps the less pain I'll have. The theory is the pain fibers will be freed up with the walking motion instead of being entrapped from all my sitting around.

The stretching is a key piece for me, because I love to stretch out. Oddly, it is my favorite part of exercise. I may try to perform the stretches that I know don't cause any pain at first. Then slowly add gentle stretches which incorporate my core/abdominal/lower back/groin muscle groups.

As far as my pain goes, I had a lot last night. I woke up a couple of times. This morning has been okay. The occassional nerve like groin pain and slight feeling of discomfort where my scrotum attaches to my body. I pray today will be a good day for me and all others who suffer from this dreaded syndrome.

I'm Not Proud

Well, I did it - reluctantly, the deed has been done. I had an E.J. in the shower this morning. I wrestled with this idea all night and wasn't sure about what to do. I had a little pain this morning on the right side and my right teste seemed pretty firm, so I decided to go through with it. Like the title says, "I'm not proud". I know most guys wouldn't care about handling up on their own business, but I'm not like most guys I guess. At least, not as I get older.

So, we'll see what happens today. Hopefully, the natural order of things with my wife will be restored as her stress level calms down in the coming days about her new job. I do miss the intimacy we usually have. There is always this disconnection we have if we aren't together for a while. Then once we reconnect, it's like this tremendous door is opened in our relationship and we simply walk through together with joy - like God intended, I'd imagine.

Too many people get hung up on too many things in their marriage. A lot of guys aren't willing to admit their wives are their best friend, but mine is. She's just terrific. A blessing from the Lord to be sure. But I digress.

As I said, I hope our normal lives kick-in here in our new home in the NW. It will be nice to have a "normal" life again.

A Day Without Pain

These are rare, but always enjoyable - days without pain. Coincidentally, I didn't do much driving or sitting on a hard surface. My wife and I were also together yesterday morning, which couldn't have hurt. It was nice to reconnect with her in an intimate way. Luckily I don't have any pain when we're being close, like many who have PVPS. I still have a little fear when we get close, but the emotional connection usual takes my mind off of it pretty quickly.

I love my wife so much. We have a strong friendship which has helped during this process. There were times when things became strained. I'd be lying if I didn't say that. I think with any chronic syndrome the relationships become strained, it's only natural. But here we are some 7 months post reversal and 6 years post vasectomy, and we've been through a lot. This last year was especially challenging, but I think it's made our marriage stronger. The Lord truly blessed me with the one woman who could be by my side during all this stuff.

Well, since we had our intimate morning, I've felt better down there. One theory is the congestion theory. This says that sperm congests in the epididymous which is then felt upstream as an ache. The nerves are exacerbated as the congestion gets worse. I think my epididymous also becomes inflamed, but once the release occurs, the congestion lessens. Many in the support group state that men should have an E.J. every couple of days. In my case, I think that is true. But everyone is different.

Anyway, no real pain or sensations today so thank God for that! Just in time as we'll be road warriors in a couple of days.

Very Little Pain for last 5 Days

Here I go again. It's been a few days now and I haven't had a lot of pain. I've been taking warm/hot baths every morning. I'm not sure if that's helping or maybe I'm just in that cycle of not having pain for a while. It does seem to cycle like that. However, I personally feel that prayer helps too. I'm feeling much better (physically and emotionally) since my prayer on June 25th. Having the guy from church over also helped, as he prayed with me too.

Okay then...I do feel like I'm learning more about what exacerbates the pain and what helps. Sitting is terrible, but not just any kind of sitting. Sitting on a hard surface or leaning forward while sitting, even for short periods of time, seem to hurt.

Hot baths seem to help. Avoiding bending over seems to help too. I'm going to try walking again, if the weather will cooperate. I'll avoid the vigorous stretching, as that seems to hurt me.

My wife and I were together a couple of times this week also. Maybe that helps too. But as usual, this thing keeps you on your toes. I will say this...I'm looking forward to my visit with the guy from church next Wednesday. It will be nice to visit with him some more and share what's been going on.

Still in a Holding Pattern

Not much has changed since my post yesterday. Still having weird sensations in the scrotal area - tingling or prickly feeling, but not a lot of pain. My wife and I connected last night which was nice. No problems, but I'll be curious to see how the next day or two progress.

I tried to stay off my butt yesterday and I think it helped quite a bit. I'm trying to do the same today, so I'll be signing off for now. Our house looks like it will close in July, so we've got a lot to do between now and then to get ready for the move out of state.

Then the Pain Returned

Do I sound like a broken record yet? Sometimes you have pain with PVPS and other times you are simply threatened with the pain. When you don't have pain, you're just waiting for it to creep around the corner. Thus, why should today be any different?

I woke up in the middle of the night with a burning or tingling sensation behind my scrotum, where it attaches to your body, I think they call that the 'perianal' region. I've had this sensation before, but it was so subtle, I just hoped it was a temporary thing and would go away. Last night though, it woke me up. I reached down there to adjust the boys and the sensation went away.

Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night because of the PVPS symptoms, I know the next day is going to be tough, either physically or mentally. Okay, so I woke up feeling okay, but then I noticed another subtle pain on my left side, like a racking sensation. Not too bad, light at first. But then the pain grew and grew, so now when it hits, I would rate it a 2 on a pain scale. While taking my shower, my right side started to act up. Something in the right of my scrotum started to feel all tied up and firm. Kind of like when I've had my epididymitis scares.

Then my mind started racing. Was this because of my walk yesterday? Was it because I was sitting last night before I went to bed? Was it because my wife and I haven't been together since that horrible pain I had almost 2 and a half weeks ago. Do I need an e.j.? Am I having a little congestion? Should I have a release or wait for my wife and I to hook up 'ala naturale'?

Your mind will drive you crazy with scenarios about what to do and what not to do. To be honest, I'm afraid to be with my wife because I fear the pain that might rear it's ugly head. But, I think I should be with her because: 1) I like to be with her and, 2) physically I should probably have a release.

Hopefully, we'll hook up tonight and all will be well. But this is just another example of how post vasectomy pain syndrome messes with your head. I just keep praying for all of us who suffer from this syndrome that our pain will be lessened, taken away even, and that we can all move forward, leading productive, pain-free lives.

Thoughts of Getting Happy with the Wife

The kids are at their uncle and aunts. This mean my wife and I have the house to ourselves. We always joke about how liberating that makes it for us to be "together". The entire house is available to us: the living room, den, heck even the kitchen table (just kidding). We thought we had time before we were supposed to meet with her sister for a dinner out. That moment suddenly turned into us not having enough time.

My body was all ready for a release (E.J.) but it didn't happen. Then when we got back from dinner, I thought, "okay, now it'll happen". But she was too tired from our house projects earlier in the day. So I'm curious how my boys will handle the frustrations. So far this morning, I've had a little nerve pain on the left and my right side continues to be achey. Not sure if it's because they were all fired up to go last night but then was called off by mission control.

Hopefully, we'll have some together time today before we get the kiddos and I can have a release. I think I need one. If not from my wife, then ...I guess I'll have to take things into my own hands, sort-of-speak.

Before I had a vasectomy, this would have been no big deal. A little frustrating, but it wouldn't cause pain. Just one more way post vasectomy pain makes your life crazy. It causes your brain to be all consuming about your pelvis region. Little things affect it in really bad ways. It basically sucks!

Vasectomy Related Pain Starting to Settle Down

I'm still taking the Rapaflo. I received word from my cardiologist that I can take this medicine. I guess that's good. I still had remnants of nerve pain from my overdone weekend yesterday. Last night, I was in a little pain while sitting down in the recliner. Usually, it doesn't hurt when I'm in the recliner, but for some reason, my left side was pretty upset with me and was giving me little sharp nerve pains. Again, nothing I needed pain medicine for. After having those 3-4 good days of no nerve pain, it was a little weird to start having nerve pain again. It brought back a lot of emotion, regret and overall self-pity about my decision to have the vasectomy in the first place.

I did have an E.J. two nights ago, which seems to really make my right side feel a lot better. However, it does seem to make my left side ache a little more. Probably has something to do with that spermatocele. Hopefully, it will go away on its own in the next month or so.

Today though, I feel pretty good. No aches or pain that I can notice, although, it's still early. I have to help the kids with their homework all day today and I'll probably be doing a lot of sitting today. It's also my wife's birthday, so here's a shout out to her.

"I love you honey, thanks for supporting me and trying to make my life easier while I suffer these vasectomy side effects. You are doing just about everything around the house because I can't do much. Thanks for going above and beyond the call of duty. You're the best. Happy birthday."

Helpful People on the Forum

Yesterday evening was a better day than Sunday. I had a constant ache on the left side of my scrotum. My left teste structure is once again crescent shaped and it seems like when that happens, it is hurting. It could always be crescent shaped, but this is a very exaggerated shape, almost banana-like. Interestingly, my right side didn't really hurt at all.

Well, I took it easy yesterday - or at least I thought I was. We had some rain the night before which makes it very easy to pull weeds. Simply reach down and pull them out with no straining whatsoever. But I found out that the innocent act of stooping and bending causes testicular pain. I promise, I had no idea that would hurt, but it did. Even without straining. So I stopped at the first sign of pain and came back indoors.

Later in the evening, I spoke to one of the support group wives about our insurance challenges. She was very insightful and gave us some great advice regarding how to appeal the denied claim. I can't express to her and her husband how thankful I am for their input and help. She strongly believes that God works in the lives of us humans, as I do. Perhaps I'll blog about that some time soon, because my faith is such a huge part of this and any other part of my life.

After speaking to her, my wife and I had a very nice conversation about this situation. Anyone close to our situation will tell you this has been hard on my wife. Not because she convinced me to get the vasectomy, but rather, she just hates to see me in pain and there's nothing she can do about it. She feels helpless. She's also concerned that this loss in activity is going to kill me. You see, I also have cardiomyopathy which means my heart is weaker than it should be. I've been taking a med for this for a few years now and my cardiac stress tests all look normal. But since I haven't been able to be active since last August, she's concerned that my heart isn't getting the exercise it should and thus might become weak again.

I do get short of breath with just a little bit of activity, but I keep telling myself that it's more of a function of being out of shape, rather than my heart acting up. I do get chest pains, but I'm not sure those are cardiac related.

Anyway, I think I've decided to get expert advice about my situation. There is a PVPS doctor in Houston, which is only about 5 hours away. I think I'll find out more about him and then have him check me out. I'm just not confident that my uro is experienced enough with my type of syndrome to be any more help.

I really think I need another ultra-sound of my scrotum to check out the change in anatomy and to address the crescent shaped testicle. I also want to discuss options to control the nerve pain, so I can get a little more active, for my heart health. I spoke to my wife and she supports me on this next step. But now, we have to get ready for Tennessee - we leave tomorrow and it's a 12 hour drive (yikes!). That's a lot of sitting!

There won't be much journaling in the next several days until we get back. I pray we have a comfortable and productive trip.