Long Day of Sitting

You know how sometimes you find yourself doing something that you shouldn't be doing? That was me yesterday. I sat around a long time at the computer and my nuts paid the price. I had a continuing education class to take on line which started me off on the wrong track. Then I checked my blogs, piddled around on the net for a while. Talked on the phone and basically just had a stationary type day. I haven't had one of those in a long long time, since we've moved out here to the pacific NW.

I suppose it was inevitable. The kids were at school all day and the wife was away to work. I should be better about going on walks during these type of days. There is still a lot to explore on foot that I haven't been able to do yet.

So I'm keeping this blog post short so I can get out, move around, enjoy some of this healthy lifestyle - which was a primary reason we moved out here in the first place.

With that said, here's my status today. No real pain to speak of, other than a feeling like I might be in pain down there. It's like how your arm feels right before the pins and needles hit, after the blood has been cut off for too long. It doesn't hurt, but you know what is coming. I guess it's the post vasectomy pain "dread". You know it's there, lurking around the corner. You just don't know when or if it will strike. I slept ok last night.

Remember the mantra - vasectomy bad, healthy scrotum good.

Looking for Normal After Vasectomy Reversal

Let's see now, I had my reversal back on Dec. 23rd of 2010. I am now 7 months post-op and I still don't quite know what my life will be like moving forward. There are still lots of sensations in my scrotum. Everything from burning to prickly pains. In a way, it feels like my reconnected Vas deference is still getting pulled and tugged, but holding on by a thread. That is a disconcerting feeling for sure. Especially after someone in the support group had a failed reversal 12 months after the surgery.

I wonder if mine will stay intact and permanent? Perhaps it will fail also. Will I get the painful, enlarged epididymitis again? Or, will the reversal work for me and my vas will stay patent forever? I surely hope the latter is what happens. Nevertheless, despite the unusual sensations in my scrotum and painful nerve feelings in my inguinal regions, I am trying to get back to normal.

As I said last time, battling this syndrome on a day to day basis can be exhausting. So I think I'll try to win the war instead. You know, take a more long term view of this thing rather than a day to day view. Too many ups and downs when you examine it under a microscope. I guess I'm finally getting to the point that a lot of chronic pain sufferers get to, you learn to just live with what you got. I'm still hopeful that it'll get better as time proceeds but I've got to start living life again. Time to be a full time husband and dad again. It won't be easy, and I'll probably fail my family from time to time. But I need to get back on the proverbial horse and start riding again.

With that in mind, I'll have to say that July has been my best month by far since my reversal. More scrotum sensations, but less nerve pain, despite my trip across country in the moving truck. But hey, as my buddy from church reminded me yesterday, I made the trip and I'm still here. I survived. He said I can hang my hat on that little fact and build from it. I guess he's right. So I'd like to give a shout out to Johnny V. who has helped me tremendously. He's taught me how to cope and how to look at the problem in a different manner. God Bless Johnny V.!!!!

Until the next installment...

The Uneasy Feeling You Get When Something Isn't Quite Right

I think the title of this is perfect. PVPS gives you that uneasy feeling. Even when it isn't flaring up, you still get little reminders throughout the day that all isn't quite right. Yesterday for instance, I was trying to find a comfortable position at the computer from which to get some continuing education - 6 hours of credit. So needless to say, sitting for 6 hours will not do my PVPS any good. I tried laying down, sitting on a bean bag, etc. Throughout the day, my pelvis and scrotum gave me little reminders that something was wrong. My body was rebelling against the idea of such prolonged inactivity and sitting. I tried to move around during those six hours. I stood, stooped, knelt, walked around, but the uneasy feeling just wouldn't leave me.

I've said it before, but PVPS is as much mental as it is physical. Little reminders are always shooting up your nervous system into your brain to remind you that yep, you still have vasectomy pain. After a while, the regret over having the vasectomy in the first place starts to creep in. Then the depression and questions about whether you'll ever get better.

It seems like we've had a new member join the support group every week for the last several weeks. I hate that because they all say the same thing. It starts with, "I had a vasectomy a few weeks ago and the pain just won't go away. The doctor tells me it's normal, but this pain seems different." My heart just goes out to each and everyone of them. Some are in the US, some are in Europe, but the symptoms and experience and sense of desparation are all the same.

Seriously, why would you want to put yourself through this. Trust me and others in the same boat as I, just don't get the vasectomy in the first place. Condoms and the pill will work just fine. Why put yourself at risk?

I believe this is why I chose to have an "online vasectomy journal". I want to get the word out to the unknowning public. Shine a spotlight on this thing so others won't make the same mistake I did. Granted, the risks of developing this are 1 in 10. But that 10% carries a debilitating lifestyle. Full of pain and doctor's appointments. Mental anguish, stress, pharmaceutical dependence and all the other "stuff" that comes with a chronic pain-like life. Hey, I'm giving you an out that you can tell your wife about. I don't think any guy wants a vasectomy in the first place, I know I didn't. So here's your excuse - PAIN spelled with PVPS: that is post vasectomy pain syndrome.

Back From Camping Weekend

My son and I had a great time camping and fishing. We're very happy that our church was able to put this up as part of their father/son ministry. We basically fished for bass and perch all weekend and mixed in a little s'mores, bonfire, snipe hunt, and the usual stuff that goes with camping.

I did a lot of walking and was surprised that my pain levels were pretty low to non-existent. Until last night, when the nerve pain woke me up out of a peaceful slumber. I don't remember nerve pain waking me up before, so yet another new pain experience to catalog. Then, as I got into the car to make the hour drive home, I had another episode of nerve pain. Both of these pains were on my left side.

Just when I think my left side won't bother me anymore, something like this happens and "pow", the remains of the vasectomy side-effects hit me like a ton of bricks. Someone posted in our group that his post-reversal time seemed like 10-12 months, but it's only been about 8. I can understand his perspective. It seems like my reversal was about 6 months ago, but it was only back in late December (about 3 months ago). I also feel like my vasectomy and subsequent reversal for pain and chronic epididymitis has aged me about 10-15 years.

That might be the lower testosterone levels or it might be because of all the worrying and frustration I've had to endure over the last 5.5 years. I think I have a better handle on what chronic pain people go through, because I've become one. Sometimes it's not always the pain that gets you, but the threat of pain. You're afraid to do stuff because it might result in terrible pain. I was very scared to go on this church campout, for fear of being in a ton of pain afterwards.

So the rest of my day will look like this. Reclining in the chair, walking around the house and fretting about doing anything else that may cause added stress to my already stressed pelvic region. That is the other devastating side effects of vasectomy - the lifestyle changes.

I'll be back tomorrow with another installment of my online post vasectomy side effects journal.