Arrived at our New Home in Washington

We arrived a couple days ago and have been spending our time doing the usual stuff - unpacking boxes, getting our services set up (including internet), making sure our mail makes it up here. The drive went pretty well. Just a little pain the first day or so, but the rest of the time went pretty well. Overall, not bad for a 7 day drive.

Yesterday, I set up our total gym. I used it a lot when my back went out, but it's been in mothballs for several years. But I was feeling so good, I thought I'd give it a try. This was also on a day when I had moved furniture and heavy boxes. All that to say...I needed some ibuprofen last night. My right side felt like I had been racked or punched in the inguinal area.

My pain has moved to a different level of frustration. What I mean is, it has gone from very sharp (like being stabbed with a knife) several times a day to little weird sensations that start off as just that, sensations. But then they escalate into a pain-like feeling. For example, this morning I was laying on the sofa, when I started getting that prickly pain in my right testicle. For the first time, the prickly pain morphed into a cutting-like pain where my epididymous is, on the back of my testicle. This pain didn't just go away, it hung around for a while. It went away, but now it's back.

So, I am encouraged by the lack of knifing pain, but I'm also frustrated because I want to see more improvement, not just a shifting of the type or intensity of pain. However, I know there are many who suffer from post vasectomy pain who would be extremely jealous of where I am right now. So I don't want to come off as a whiner or complainer. Rather, I just want to express what I'm going through. This is a personal journal first and foremost that I hope to look back on some day to see if I'm getting better or worse.

Measuring on a monthly basis, I would say this last month has been my best by far. Not sure what that means necessarily, but I feel like I've mentally overcome some hurdles and physically, developed some degree of tolerance. All this seems very directed from above. The good Lord has surely worked in my life these last several months. Not to say he doesn't always work in my life, but rather, I'm just so much more aware of his working and presence. It's very hard to explain.

But to God belongs the glory for all he does. My prayer is that I'll continue to feel better and become more active. It is so much more cooler up here than hot old Dallas. As a family, we really want to take advantage of the weather and climate available to us here in the NW. Lord willing, things will continue to improve.

Recovering From the Long Drive

Well I made it back to Texas and all of it's 104 degrees! Yikes, the pacific NW was so much cooler. Well, my nerve pain seems to be subsiding a little bit. Now I'm "JUST" having the prickly pain on the back of my scrotum on both the left and right side. I'm scheduled to meet with my friend from church in a little bit to discuss my mental outlook and the chronic pain. He's been such a blessing to me. I'll really miss him when we move up to the NW.

It's nice to have someone you can talk to in person about things like pain. The support group is great, but can be depressing sometimes when you hear about everyone else's problems. At first, it made me glad I wasn't having all their problems, now it just kind of overwhelms me a bit and gets me focused on my problem more. I think, that is part of my problem, I'm too keyed into my problem. I feel like I need to start viewing it as something I have, like a wart on a finger or a scar, rather than something I have to battle every day. I've discovered that is a little exhausting and makes matters worse - mentally that is.

I think that's what my friend has shown me. It just becomes a part of who you are and you deal with it and move on. Now granted, my pain isn't as bad as many in the support group, so it's probably easier for me to say that than them. I still feel bad for them and wish I could take their (and my) pain away. It's frustrating to see how this PVPS can affect so many people's lives in such a catastrophic manner, knowing there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So I pray for them and hope they'll get better.

Anyway, it feels good to be out of the moving truck and away from the moving boxes for a while. I know I'll have to drive back and unpack boxes. So I know the pain will probably come back in spades next week. But for now, I'm going to "enjoy" the little pain I'm having.

Lord, please help those men who are suffering from PVPS. Give them healing, relief from pain, and rest from the constant anxiety and frustration. None of us knew about this pain before our vasectomy, but now face the cold reality of living with it. Give us what we need to get through and may you be glorified by the process. May people come to know you because of what we're all going through. Continue to be with me as I learn to adjust and live with the challenges placed in my path. Help me to honor you and trust that you are a good father and want to give us good gifts. I pray that I'll become more aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for this ministry and thank you for your son, Jesus. It's in His name I pray...Amen.

Still Taking Long Hot Soaks

It's over 100 degrees here in north Texas. You'd think a good hot soak would be the last thing on my mind. But, since I've been having the soaks, my daily pain seems to have subsided. However, I'm not sure how long the affect will last. Today, for instance, my left testicle is starting to get that "racking" sensation. Nothing horrible, just that dull sensation that so many of us with PVPS get.

Also, it is interesting to note that I've had what feels like a paper cut sensation on my scrotum in various places. This was accompanied by that little prickly pain. Both sensations disappeared after my soak though.

I can't tell you why I have pain and why I don't have pain. It remains a mystery. I do hope to find an expert in the pacific NW who can give me some advice though. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I think I may pop an ibuprofen for that left sided pain. I have to do a lot of driving around town today, so I know I'll be hurting later.

Just another day in the life of someone with PVPS. Let me tell you, it kinda s-u-c-k-s. Maybe this is something I'll talk to my friend from church about tomorrow. He's a great guy, I'm sure he'll have some insight in how to handle the ups/downs associated with chronic pain.

Exhausted From Never-Ending Stimulation

I've struggled to put into words what having PVPS is like. Sure, the pain is terrible. Nobody told me pain or epididymitis was a potential side-effect of having the vasectomy in the first place. All that is true, but I am amazed at how exhausting it is to have constant stimulation in my groin. If it's not a tingling, it's a prickly feeling. If it's not sharp pain, it's a dull ache. It's in the inguinal area, it's at the base of the scrotum, it's on the left, it's on the right.

I'm just exhausted from the constant barage of stimulation. The last day has been a prickly feeling at the base of my scrotum, in the perianal region. If I sit for longer than 15 minutes, I get nerve pain. It's just frustrating.

This morning I woke up needing to stretch a lot. Whenever that happens, I know I'm going to have some kind of nerve pain. It's still early, so we'll see what happens.

Take Two Tylenol and Call Me in the Morning

Before I went to bed last night, my left side was continually aching. So I decided to take a couple of tylenol before bedtime. I also had a slight twinge of nerve pain on my right side, but it was very brief. I also did some stretching out before bedtime to see if that would help in some way.

After spending so much time in the car, the stretching felt good. I'm not sure if it helps my testicular pain, but my legs and back felt better afterwards. I woke up this morning and my left side didn't hurt, although, I can "sense" both testicles. What I mean by that is, they don't necessarily hurt, but rather I can tell they're both there.

Now as I type this, I am having a prickly sensation where my scrotum meets my groin on the right side. It feels like pins and needles. Yet another new pain/sensation. It is rather bothersome, like something is biting me down there. So if you needed another reason not to have a vasectomy, here it is - the never ending list of weird pains and sensations in and around your scrotum.

We'll see what this day holds for me. I'm going to go for a little walk around the neighborhood and do some stretching. Hopefully, today will be a good day, Lord willing.