Getting Ready for Long Road Trip, Part Deaux

It's de ja vu all over again as I get the suitcases ready and the GPS/cell phones all charged up. It seems like just two weeks ago that I was doing this, but then I had to look forward (not really) to driving a rather large moving truck with car in tow some 2400 miles. This time it will be my family and a mini-van. A striking contrast.

We hope to make it more of a vacation than a long drive. We hope to see some sites along the way. Our friends that live in Denver have already planned on a cook-out. They'll be grilling up some steaks for us, the road wearie. I just hope my groin isn't flaring up.

These last two days have been pretty decent as far as pain or sensations go. I believe sitting on comfy sofas and recliners has a way of protecting those nerves down there. When I do get a sensation or pain, it doesn't last for very long.

My anxiousness is starting to ramp up a tick or two as the day goes on. I believe my anxiety level has a direct correlation with my PVPS. It seems the more anxious I am, the more weird pains I have. Then, the more pains I have, the more anxiety I get. A viscious cycle to say the least. But have no fear, Xanax to the rescue. I'm sure these will help my nerves (in more ways than one) as we travel across country.

So here's probably my last post until we get settled in our new home up north.

May the Lord continue to be with us as we embark on this new chapter of our life and may he get all the glory. I truly do hope and pray He'll continue to lead us and direct us, comfort us, heal us, and show us his mercy through his son Jesus Christ, all the days of our lives.

Recovering From the Long Drive

Well I made it back to Texas and all of it's 104 degrees! Yikes, the pacific NW was so much cooler. Well, my nerve pain seems to be subsiding a little bit. Now I'm "JUST" having the prickly pain on the back of my scrotum on both the left and right side. I'm scheduled to meet with my friend from church in a little bit to discuss my mental outlook and the chronic pain. He's been such a blessing to me. I'll really miss him when we move up to the NW.

It's nice to have someone you can talk to in person about things like pain. The support group is great, but can be depressing sometimes when you hear about everyone else's problems. At first, it made me glad I wasn't having all their problems, now it just kind of overwhelms me a bit and gets me focused on my problem more. I think, that is part of my problem, I'm too keyed into my problem. I feel like I need to start viewing it as something I have, like a wart on a finger or a scar, rather than something I have to battle every day. I've discovered that is a little exhausting and makes matters worse - mentally that is.

I think that's what my friend has shown me. It just becomes a part of who you are and you deal with it and move on. Now granted, my pain isn't as bad as many in the support group, so it's probably easier for me to say that than them. I still feel bad for them and wish I could take their (and my) pain away. It's frustrating to see how this PVPS can affect so many people's lives in such a catastrophic manner, knowing there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So I pray for them and hope they'll get better.

Anyway, it feels good to be out of the moving truck and away from the moving boxes for a while. I know I'll have to drive back and unpack boxes. So I know the pain will probably come back in spades next week. But for now, I'm going to "enjoy" the little pain I'm having.

Lord, please help those men who are suffering from PVPS. Give them healing, relief from pain, and rest from the constant anxiety and frustration. None of us knew about this pain before our vasectomy, but now face the cold reality of living with it. Give us what we need to get through and may you be glorified by the process. May people come to know you because of what we're all going through. Continue to be with me as I learn to adjust and live with the challenges placed in my path. Help me to honor you and trust that you are a good father and want to give us good gifts. I pray that I'll become more aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for this ministry and thank you for your son, Jesus. It's in His name I pray...Amen.

2500 Miles

Well, I've arrived in the pacific NW. After driving in a 6 x 4 foot cell (aka: moving truck cab), 12 hours a day for the last 4 days, I have to say I'm in pain. The knifing nerve pain was very present throughout the entire road trip. I tried taking tylenol and ibuprofen, I tried sitting on my special cushion, I tried sitting on a memory foam pillow and I still had pain.

I guess I'm not overly amazed by the pain. I was just hoping I wouldn't have any. I know that having hope sets me up for disappointment sometimes, but hope is all I have.

I am looking forward to taking the next week or so off before I make the road trip again, this time with my family. It will be a little slower paced as we'll take 6 days to travel the 2500 miles rather than the 3.5 my buddy and I did this time. I'll also be in a minivan, instead of a 26 foot moving truck with car in tow.

I just thank God that we arrived safely and the pain wasn't any worse. So thank you God for helping me get here! I obviously, couldn't have done it without You.

I fly back in a couple of days so I'll post something then. Until next time, may the Lord Jesus grant you peace.