The Pain Continues

This epididymitis continues on my right side. I've taken a couple of weeks worth of ibuprofen, mixed with some tylenol which has helped the day to day pain. However, I was hoping the swelling would go down a little bit more than it has.

Surprisingly, my wife and I have been intimate a few times since this began. I wasn't sure what would happen if I had an E.J. But, it doesn't appear to have made it worse and perhaps, it has helped a little bit (I'm not really sure, because of all the OTC pain meds I'm taking).

The real problem is when I have a day at work that involves a lot of sitting. Sitting is just a killer for me right now. Then again, so is standing for long periods of time (like when I umpired my son's 2-hr baseball game yesterday).

The pain in my scrotum definitely puts a damper on just about everything in my day. But I think I can tolerate it as long as it doesn't get any worse. Now the likelihood of it not getting worse is pretty slim, I know. But that is my approach now. If other people can live with chronic pain, then so can I. I don't like it, but what are you going to do...it's not like I have a lot of options at this point. More surgery is out of the question and I'm not taking anymore antibiotics or steroids. That just leaves prayer and living with it. Thankfully, Jesus gives me the strength and patience to do that. Again, I don't like this option, but as I said before, my options are pretty few and far between. At least this option has paid dividends and is more reliable than anything I have tried before.

So faith in a loving God and savior, along with my eternal perspective is all I have left. That should be enough for anyone.

Getting Over a Cold

As if nerve pain, lower back pain, chest palpitations wasn't enough, now I've still got this cold. I've been so tired and my activity level has been in the pits. Today though, I'm doing better. Still tired, but no constant coughing, sniffling, nose blowing, etc. It seems like my body tries to give me a break and only allows one set of symptoms at a time.

For example, this weekend, my cold dominated and I didn't really have nerve pain. My lower back was pretty good too. Now today, my cold is better, but my left inguinal nerve pain has made its presence felt a couple of times. On Sunday, my cold was getting a little better, but to compensate, I started having nerve pain in my "johnson". It was very disturbing. I hate that pain a lot. Luckily, it doesn't last very long and isn't too severe, but disturbing, none-the-less. Interesting, I had a nocturnal emission last night (although I don't remember, which is unusual, because I always remember). I'll be curious to see what happens to my symptoms because of it.

So, here I am, a shambles of a man, but joyful. Joyful, I still have my God watching over me. Joyful that he continues to bless me. Joyful that he helps me with my pain. Read the story of Job sometime. I could never identify with that story before this whole post vasectomy symptoms started. Now, I kind of get it. No matter what happens, we need to trust God. For only the good and perfect gifts we receive come from him. I'm not saying our faith won't be tested from time to time, but we must remain steadfast in our faith and understand that he loves us no matter what.

That gives me comfort and peace, that is, when I actually stop to think about it. The problem is, I don't stop to think about it as much as I should. There's a lesson in there somewhere for all of us.

Thoughts About a Life Filled With Chronic Pain

"Hey, turn that frown upside down!". I can still hear those words spoken to me by my 1st grade elementary school teacher, almost 38 years ago. What's another idiom, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Those are great sayings. They designed to help you get out of the bad mood you're in. I find that bad moods can be a comforting blanket you wear when you have chronic daily pain. After all, who can blame you? You're in pain all the time or at least severe pain part of the time. You have every right to be blue and regretful. But being sad, angry or dispondent doesn't do you any good now does it?

Trust me, I've felt all those things. But I'm realizing that you can't let it - the pain - tell you how to live your life. I've had lots of well intentioned people try to help me understand that. When I heard them, all I really heards was "blah, blah, blah". Because they didn't know what I was going through. The only person who really helped me, and I mean - REALLY - was my buddy from my old church. The one I went to before we moved up here to the pacific northwest. Seeing him deal with his pain, was inspiring. But even then, I still was only making baby steps torward this idea. I think that is just something you kind of have to get to yourself.

I believe I am finally gettting to the point now where I see that I can still have a fruitful and abundent life, in spite of my circumstances. My faith in Jesus has helped me with this growth. Just knowing that he's there for me on a moment by moment basis; very reassuring and comforting.

I've had a busy moring with little sitting so my report is a good one. My right groin is a little sore, but I think it's actually from walking yesterday and is a muscular type of pain. Wow, what a switch. It is still tender, but in a good way - if that makes any sense.