Vasectomy Reversal Update - Two Year Anniversary

Merry Christmas to everyone! It has been 2 years since my vasectomy reversal. So I thought I'd provide an update as to where I am these days.

With regards to the inguinal knifing pain. I only get that pain if I have been sitting too long or have been inactive for days at a time. The pain usually registers at a 2-3 on a 1-10 pain scale (10 being intolerable). This pain is mostly bothersome, but rarely so painful that it prohibits me from doing anything. Tylenol seems to address this pain rather well.

What about the congestive or full feeling on my right side. It is hard to distinguish this pain from the knifing pain, since the knifing pain has dulled in the last year. However, the congestive pain seems more centered in my scrotum and radiates out into my inguinal area. Frequency of ejaculations (e.j.) seems to regulate this pain. It seems that if I have at least 2 e.j.'s per week, the pain doesn't ever bother me. I visualize my epididymis emptying regularly, and therefore, not allowing any build up of pressure, which causes the full sensation.  

Interestingly, if my wife and I talk about plans to be intimate during the day only to have those plans fall through, I experience a significant up swell in pain. It doesn't feel like 'blue balls', but it is certainly a similar phenomenon. The knifing inguinal and congestive pain will both be present. It's like the anticipation of excitement does something at the physiologic level, which then creates the pain scenario.

The racking pain on my left side will come and go for the same reasons listed above, sitting and inactivity. Although, jumping (like when playing basketball) and lifting something over 15 pounds will cause this sensation to rear its ugly head. It king of feels like something is pushing into my scrotum, like a hernia maybe? However, I have had this checked and apparently I do not have a hernia. This pain registers the same 2-3 on a pain scale. Tylenol doesn't affect it though, only ibuprofen works.

Random burning sensations. These still come and go at random and are independent of any activity, as far as I can tell. I will get these in all areas of my nether region, from my scrotum, "johnson", inguinal area, etc. These are a little un-nerving, because they feel so weird. They range from sharp pains to burning, to spasm-like sensations to twinges. The pain can be anywhere from a 1-5 and don't really respond to pain medicine with just one exception. The johnson pain does respond to tylenol.

I find that lifestyle really makes a difference. The more active I am, the better. The more my mind is distracted, the better. As long as I remember my coping techniques and try not to behave like a 20-30 year old, I'm okay.

Independent of anything I've listed above, there does seem to be a cycle of pain. When the pain first struck, I remember having a few good days followed by a few bad. Then a week or two of good, followed by the same of bad. This cycle has progressively lengthened itself over the last two years. Most recently, I identified a cycle of good times lasting about 2 months, followed by a single bad week of pain. I am currently nearing the end of a two month good spell, so I should probably plan on something changing here pretty soon.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about what helps me. Sure tylenol and ibuprofen are good for the pain. Not sitting for long periods of time is helpful too. But the thing that helps me the most is my God. I'm sure many non-Christians are rolling their eyes at me right now. I would ask that you just hear me out.

Having this PVPS thing happen to me is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Yet, I can see how God has used this to grow me. My outlook and perspective on life has all been sharpened as a result of this stupid syndrome. I would not be the man I am today, if it weren't for my PVPS (and I mean that in the best of ways). My faith is far stronger, my expectation that God will work in my life and the lives of others is higher, and I see how he is using this syndrome to allow me to help others; it's truly been a blessing.

Now it wasn't always like this. In fact, I had a night where I basically yelled to God (not at God) about all the bad stuff that was happening to me (PVPS). From that moment on, my pain lessened dramatically, my ability to cope magnified about 100 fold, my attitude immediately changed from victim to contentment. I'd love to say that it was all me; that I some how mustard-ed up the internal fortitude and changed everything overnight. But it wasn't me. I know the Lord worked something miraculous in my life that night. I'm not going to say he "healed me from Heaven". No, no, that would be a huge leap of faith that not even I could make. Rather, he just seemed to change me somehow.

I had been playing the victim role for so long, and that had to change or I would never be any good to God. I could no longer completely focus on myself, which is exactly what was happening. I was ignoring my wife and two young children; not to mention my community and church.  I know I'm doing a poor job of explaining how the Lord God worked in my life, but read through my blog and you'll get the idea. Maybe some day I'll be able to clearly state it, but right now, I'm just so overjoyed to be where I am and feeling how I feel. I can't help but to praise my Lord and my God - especially as we celebrate the gift of his only son Jesus, who is the Christ, the one who shall save us from our sins.

So on that note, I'll wish you all a Merry Christmas. I hope you find peace and everlasting joy.  

23 Month Post Reversal Update

It's almost been 2 full years since my reversal for post vasectomy pain syndrome. My progress and pain has been documented extensively on this blog since I first began writing over one year ago. But today I want to touch on something that I had forgotten about, the idea that pain (for me anyway) seems to run in a cycle.

For instance, a few weeks ago, I was having a lot of pain of different variations and locations. It lasted for about 10 days, with the peak causing me to take regular ibuprofen and tylenol. However, today I noticed that my pain has been relatively mild in the last couple of days. This caused me to remember how my body seems to cycle through pain. Lately, the cycle looks something like this: pain for about a week or so, followed by a month or two of little to no pain. This then repeats.

I'm not sure if there is some kind of circadian rhythm or body clock at work here, but the reliability of this cycle seems pretty strong. So am I doomed to repeat this cycle for the rest of my life? Will the cycle continue to lengthen out to maybe 6-7 months of no pain followed by 2-3 weeks of pain? I'm just not sure. I certainly wouldn't want to speculate. Instead, I'll just pray for good times and hope for the best.

Aches and Pains

The onslaught of random aches and pains continue. Not an hour goes by when I don't experience some sort of weird and slightly painful sensation down there. Sometimes the pain is more significant, but those aren't quite so random. They occur when I've done something I shouldn't do...like sit for too long, lift something heavy, bend over the wrong way, etc.

I'm still working on that surprise announcement that I promised a few weeks ago. Still have to put the polishing touches on it, before I can confidently speak to it. But hopefully it won't be but just a couple more weeks.

I'll also post some google results for the year and I'm coming up on my two year reversal anniversary in December. So I have some things to post coming up. Until next time...

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping....

Into the future I go. I suppose there is no where else to go. This online journal has been a great way for me to keep track of my symptoms. I was able to identify cycles of pain, look for cause and effect, and track the intensity and nature of the pain. I've been recording this data for over a year now, since my vasectomy reversal.

I've been a member of the yahoo forum for PVPS sufferers for close to a year and a half. Those guys and gals have been through so much, just like me. A lot of their stories are worse than mine. Their pain seems to be much more pronounced and debilitating, although, mine has had its moments. I continue to pray for those who suffer from PVPS. Sadly, there are new members to the forum, monthly. All have the same story, to some degree I mean. They all had a vasectomy and now their world is turned upside down.

We all frantically look for answers, solutions, tips...anything that will take the pain away. I love to read stories about how some men were able to have a procedure which enabled them to become pain free, but unfortunately, those stories are too rare. Most guys just talk about getting back to 80, 85, or even 90% of their former self.

It has been over 18 months since my reversal, so I thought I would provide an update.

Physically - I am not in the greatest of shape, because my activity still isn't normal. I have a fairly sedentary lifestyle. However, it is picking up a bit. We live in an apartment complex that has a swimming pool, exercise area, and tennis court. I've been able to get back on the treadmill, I swim at least once a week and I've played tennis once or twice - with athletic supporter in place.

My pain is confined to nondescript flashes of pain in the inguinal area that rate a 1-2 on a 1-10 pain scale. I also get a racking pain in my left testicle which rates a 4-5. This pain is triggered by E.J.s, lifting anything heavy and doing squats. I think it may be a type of hernia or it could be nerve pain. I'm not really sure. The last type of pain is a nerve pain I get on the tip of my penis. I've had it a couple of times and it is just flat out disturbing. It rates a 4-5 and can last all evening.

Mentally - I'm doing better. The pain has weighed less on me lately. I've kind of just adjusted to it. I no longer freak out when I have a blast of nerve pain. Instead, I just kind of think, "Oh, okay. Just a bit of pain." Now that would probably not be the case if I was still having those sharp knifing pains, but the last couple of months have been better. The chronic ache on my right side isn't even noticeable, most of the time. So that has helped me quite a bit on the mental side.

Spiritually - Let's face it, we're all sinners. That will never change. I still need my Lord and savior Jesus to get me through. But since I've kind of surrendered this to him, it hasn't been as bad. Coincidence? Maybe. But I like to think that God has helped me have a stronger relationship with him because I had to go through this PVPS thing. I truly believe that my faith wouldn't be nearly as strong as it is, if it weren't for PVPS.

So yes, I'm actually praising God for this syndrome. Crazy, I know. But who can argue with God. It's like this, those without faith in God, think those of us with faith are stupid. So if you don't have it, I don't expect you to understand what I'm talking about. But trust me, Jesus is the answer to so many questions.

My prayer is that your pain will go away. I also pray that you'll find Jesus in this and that he'll comfort and strengthen you, as he continually does for me. I'm not sure when I'll blog next, so until that time, may you become more aware of Jesus in your life. More aware of how he wants you to be his. God bless.

Keeping An Eternal Perspective

I did several things last week when I was at my wit's end. I thought I had a hernia and got it checked out. I was miserable and had to take a hydrocodone to alleviate the pain. I also started wearing an athletic supporter everyday. I read my Bible, specifically the Book of Job. I prayed a lot.

What are the results you might ask. Well, let me tell you. My pain dramatically decreased. I wore the athletic supporter for about 10 days. I stopped wearing it yesterday. Strangely, it felt better when I stopped wearing it. It's like the athletic supporter needed to brace me up a bit so my ligaments would stop being stretched or my nerves would stop being yanked around. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure what the athletic supporter does. I just know I've worn it twice since my reversal and I've felt better because of it.

Now, I'm not discounting the reading and prayer. Interestingly, after my rather lengthy talk with God a week ago Monday, I was in a much better frame of mind, spirit and body. I think he brought me to a place of understanding. Much like Job though, I'm not necessarily happy about what I understand. Rather, I'm just not experiencing as much mental strife.

If I don't continue to pray and read the Bible, I can see where I'll find myself in the same dark place of desperation. Even yesterday, I found myself getting quite angry over a twinge in my right groin. It was like, "Wow, I've had several good days and now, for no reason, I'm having this twinge. Why can't I catch a break?"

We're always looking to ask "why, why, why". I know that has been my favorite question these last 8 years. I don't really think it's our right to ask "why". I could be wrong, but I think we just need to accept what happens and realize that God will use it for his glory. A verse in Romans says something like, "...all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose."

Well, I love God. I feel called according to HIS purpose - some of the time anyway. The way I look at it these days, this will all work together for good. Some how, this nerve pain will work out to some better and higher purpose, according to Christ. Listen, I know this isn't your typical view on how to see something like chronic pain, but I really feel like this is it. It makes me sad to think about people who don't know Jesus, who don't know God as their father in Heaven. What kind of hope do they have?

If this nerve pain has twisted my spirit inside-out, and I'm a christian, what must it do to people who don't have an eternal perspective...who don't have a hope for something better? It's hard for me to conceptualize. But it doesn't mean God can't still work in their lives. It doesn't mean they have to be without that hope forever. I know that God loves all of us and wants the best for all of us, just like any good father. Unfortunately, our decisions get in his way sometimes, most of the time actually. So we suffer the consequences of our decisions. But, there's hope. We won't be confined to these bodies for eternity.

It's that hope in Christ that keeps me going...honestly. I'm not just trying to be preachy here, I really mean what I say. Without Jesus, I'm not sure what kind of bad place I'd be stuck in. Anger, resentment, depression, and self pity would be constant companions. As it is, they only come over for very brief visits. Thank God.

So today, I'm feeling a little pain in my groin. My left testicle gets that racking feeling periodically. I'm back to walking, with athletic support in place. I try to stay off the computer as much as possible. I guess that's about it. Good luck and God bless.

Not Much Has Changed

As you can tell by my title, I'm pretty status quo. I have pain, I don't have pain, I take tylenol, I cope, I hurt, I feel sorry for myself. It's a regular day at Disney World.

I bought one of those inflatable donuts to sit on. It helps me sit on hard surfaces better.

My wife and I were close last week after a real long time off. I found out she was afraid to be with me because she thought she might hurt me. I was having a lot of pain before we were together. Now I'm having a lot of pain afterwards. So I don't think ejaculations really affect me one way or another. Although, I could be wrong. I might be better to say, it didn't affect me this last time.

I spoke to my pain mentor a couple days ago. It was good to hear his voice. He provided some more insight, as usual. He's really helped me a lot.

Lately I've been considering a nerve surgery. It is supposed to deaden the nerves so you don't feel the pain anymore. But someone on the forum had an injection (which would be the preliminary step to the surgery) and now he has more pain than before the injection.

So I guess I am what I am. I probably won't have anymore surgeries, Lord willing. Also Lord willing, I hope I'll be able to have less pain. But it's been over a year now and that just doesn't seem like it's going to be a reality. But the Lord can heal me and make it easier. He's done it before. I would love it if he would do it for me. Wouldn't we all!

God does get me through the days though. I thank him for that. I hate having PVPS. I wish I had never had a vasectomy. But you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, can you? So I'll just keep relying on Jesus and coping and dealing. I guess that's it for now.

Peace be with you and yours. May God bless you.

11 Month Post Vasectomy Reversal Status Update

It was 11 months ago that I had my vasectomy reversal for congestive epididymitis related to my vasectomy 6-7 years ago. Prior to my reversal, I had what amounted to a third testicle from August to December. It was very uncomfortable and fairly painful. Then I had my reversal, because there seemed to be a 75% chance I would get better. During the surgery, my urologist told me that sperm filled liquid oozed out of my right vas deference for about 15 minutes during the surgery. That tells you how much congestion I had prior to the surgery.

Since my reversal, I haven't had congestion. But, I started getting nerve pain. The best guess is that scar tissue is rubbing against some nerves causing pain. The other idea is that my anatomy is different in the scrotum which also rubs against nerves and causes pain. The last idea is the doctor damaged my nerves during the surgery.

My nerve pain has improved every month since then. Now, I have intermittent pain that seldom requires any tylenol. Interestingly, tylenol helps a lot, but ibuprofen doesn't. I usually have 1 bad day a week. The biggest problem is the fear I get when I do have pain. My mind starts racing, thinking the congestion is coming back. But so far so good.

My faith has surprisingly been strengthened as a result of this vasectomy challenge. I wished my faith could have been stronger and I could have simply foregone the pain and congestion.

Next month will be my 1 year anniversary. I hope the pain is even less of an issue then. Lord willing, I'll continue to improve.

So there's the status update. As far as this week goes, I've had a little nerve pain on the left side, but nothing too difficult. My sleeping has been poor, but that could be because I've had a cold. I hope to get a gym membeship tomorrow so I can start walking regularly again on the treadmill (the cold has made it difficult to go outside to walk).