Visectomy... Vesectomy... Vasectomy

No matter how you spell it, the outcome is the same. I often sit here and wonder why I had a visectomy, er...excuse me, a vasectomy. I mean, my wife and I had managed to have children when we wanted and not have children when we didn't. So why did I have to go "all-in" and have the vasectomy? Why didn't we continue to use what was working for us?

The answer is kind of strange. My background is in health care. So all my friends are doctors, nurses, therapists, etc. When we get together, we talk about how medicine helps people. We also talk about which doctors are good for one thing and which are good for another. It is quite easy for us to see the medical community as an answer for just about any problem.

You're obese? Okay, go get a lap band procedure. You've got saggy skin? Okay, go see a plastic surgeon. You are tired of using conventional birth control? Okay, go get a vasectomy.

All by buddies at work were getting vasectomies - all of them! It seemed a natural thing for me to stand in line and wait my turn. This is what you do after you are finished having kids. Interestingly, 30 years ago, the answer was to continue with conventional birth control. Vasectomies were being done, true, but not with the frequency they are today.

We kind of have a follow the crowd mentality when it comes to birth control. We do whatever everyone else is doing. Vasectomies? Okay, sign me up. Jumping off a cliff? Okay, I'm game.

Sounds pretty strange when I put it in these terms, but it's true. A vasectomy was just kind of expected, so that's what I did. Now I'm paying the price, along with so many others today. I have had about 10,500 people visit my blog since I started over 12 months ago. That's roughly 800-900 different people per month coming to my blog to look at the side effects created from vasectomies. I don't know about you, but that can't be good.

What if these people and myself had chosen to not have a visectomy or vesectomy or however you want to spell it? Imagine how much more peace there'd be in this world. Now, imagine there are 100 more babies born because a vasectomy wasn't performed. I don't know about you, but I'd rather take another child to love and nurture, than dealing with pain everyday for the rest of my life...no matter the financial burden. Especially since PVPS creates such a financial burden, in and of itself.

So no matter how you look at it (or spell it), try viewing birth control through a different lense. One that doesn't depend on what your buddies at work are doing. The trade-off may just pay off for you in the end.

As far as pain goes since my last post, I've had a little perianal and penis nerve pain - it lasted about 10 minutes one night. Probably from too much sitting. I've had a little referred pain in my right and left groin, again probably from sitting too much. We drove up to Pittsburgh (~12 hour drive both ways) over a long weekend.

On the upside, my son and I played some tennis the other day. I didn't notice any pain as a result of it. So that's promising.

Another Hike

Despite the inguinal nerve pain, life goes on. Today we're going hiking about an hour and a half away from home. That means time in the car and then the hike. Not sure how things will turn out. I will probably take some tylenol and/or ibuprofen before we head out.

I slept ok, but did a lot of stretching this morning before I got up. If I remember correctly, whenever I do a lot of stretching in the bed prior to getting out, I tend to have a lot of pain during the day. So I'm not sure what kind of day today will be. I'm hoping that since I've blogged about what I expect to happen, the opposite will occur. I know, I know. I can't explain this reasoning. That's just where you go when you have chronic pain issues. I'm not proud of it.

I just pray the pain doesn't keep me from enjoying my family and what the Lord has created. Have to cherish each day - you know what I mean??

Arrived at our New Home in Washington

We arrived a couple days ago and have been spending our time doing the usual stuff - unpacking boxes, getting our services set up (including internet), making sure our mail makes it up here. The drive went pretty well. Just a little pain the first day or so, but the rest of the time went pretty well. Overall, not bad for a 7 day drive.

Yesterday, I set up our total gym. I used it a lot when my back went out, but it's been in mothballs for several years. But I was feeling so good, I thought I'd give it a try. This was also on a day when I had moved furniture and heavy boxes. All that to say...I needed some ibuprofen last night. My right side felt like I had been racked or punched in the inguinal area.

My pain has moved to a different level of frustration. What I mean is, it has gone from very sharp (like being stabbed with a knife) several times a day to little weird sensations that start off as just that, sensations. But then they escalate into a pain-like feeling. For example, this morning I was laying on the sofa, when I started getting that prickly pain in my right testicle. For the first time, the prickly pain morphed into a cutting-like pain where my epididymous is, on the back of my testicle. This pain didn't just go away, it hung around for a while. It went away, but now it's back.

So, I am encouraged by the lack of knifing pain, but I'm also frustrated because I want to see more improvement, not just a shifting of the type or intensity of pain. However, I know there are many who suffer from post vasectomy pain who would be extremely jealous of where I am right now. So I don't want to come off as a whiner or complainer. Rather, I just want to express what I'm going through. This is a personal journal first and foremost that I hope to look back on some day to see if I'm getting better or worse.

Measuring on a monthly basis, I would say this last month has been my best by far. Not sure what that means necessarily, but I feel like I've mentally overcome some hurdles and physically, developed some degree of tolerance. All this seems very directed from above. The good Lord has surely worked in my life these last several months. Not to say he doesn't always work in my life, but rather, I'm just so much more aware of his working and presence. It's very hard to explain.

But to God belongs the glory for all he does. My prayer is that I'll continue to feel better and become more active. It is so much more cooler up here than hot old Dallas. As a family, we really want to take advantage of the weather and climate available to us here in the NW. Lord willing, things will continue to improve.

Getting Ready for Long Road Trip, Part Deaux

It's de ja vu all over again as I get the suitcases ready and the GPS/cell phones all charged up. It seems like just two weeks ago that I was doing this, but then I had to look forward (not really) to driving a rather large moving truck with car in tow some 2400 miles. This time it will be my family and a mini-van. A striking contrast.

We hope to make it more of a vacation than a long drive. We hope to see some sites along the way. Our friends that live in Denver have already planned on a cook-out. They'll be grilling up some steaks for us, the road wearie. I just hope my groin isn't flaring up.

These last two days have been pretty decent as far as pain or sensations go. I believe sitting on comfy sofas and recliners has a way of protecting those nerves down there. When I do get a sensation or pain, it doesn't last for very long.

My anxiousness is starting to ramp up a tick or two as the day goes on. I believe my anxiety level has a direct correlation with my PVPS. It seems the more anxious I am, the more weird pains I have. Then, the more pains I have, the more anxiety I get. A viscious cycle to say the least. But have no fear, Xanax to the rescue. I'm sure these will help my nerves (in more ways than one) as we travel across country.

So here's probably my last post until we get settled in our new home up north.

May the Lord continue to be with us as we embark on this new chapter of our life and may he get all the glory. I truly do hope and pray He'll continue to lead us and direct us, comfort us, heal us, and show us his mercy through his son Jesus Christ, all the days of our lives.

Recovering From the Long Drive

Well I made it back to Texas and all of it's 104 degrees! Yikes, the pacific NW was so much cooler. Well, my nerve pain seems to be subsiding a little bit. Now I'm "JUST" having the prickly pain on the back of my scrotum on both the left and right side. I'm scheduled to meet with my friend from church in a little bit to discuss my mental outlook and the chronic pain. He's been such a blessing to me. I'll really miss him when we move up to the NW.

It's nice to have someone you can talk to in person about things like pain. The support group is great, but can be depressing sometimes when you hear about everyone else's problems. At first, it made me glad I wasn't having all their problems, now it just kind of overwhelms me a bit and gets me focused on my problem more. I think, that is part of my problem, I'm too keyed into my problem. I feel like I need to start viewing it as something I have, like a wart on a finger or a scar, rather than something I have to battle every day. I've discovered that is a little exhausting and makes matters worse - mentally that is.

I think that's what my friend has shown me. It just becomes a part of who you are and you deal with it and move on. Now granted, my pain isn't as bad as many in the support group, so it's probably easier for me to say that than them. I still feel bad for them and wish I could take their (and my) pain away. It's frustrating to see how this PVPS can affect so many people's lives in such a catastrophic manner, knowing there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So I pray for them and hope they'll get better.

Anyway, it feels good to be out of the moving truck and away from the moving boxes for a while. I know I'll have to drive back and unpack boxes. So I know the pain will probably come back in spades next week. But for now, I'm going to "enjoy" the little pain I'm having.

Lord, please help those men who are suffering from PVPS. Give them healing, relief from pain, and rest from the constant anxiety and frustration. None of us knew about this pain before our vasectomy, but now face the cold reality of living with it. Give us what we need to get through and may you be glorified by the process. May people come to know you because of what we're all going through. Continue to be with me as I learn to adjust and live with the challenges placed in my path. Help me to honor you and trust that you are a good father and want to give us good gifts. I pray that I'll become more aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for this ministry and thank you for your son, Jesus. It's in His name I pray...Amen.

Journal Entry

Lots going on. We've sold our house and now have to move cross country to the pacific NW. I'm driving the moving truck (with a friend) 2500 miles. I'm not sure how that's all going to work out as far as nerve pain goes. I've felt pretty good these last couple of days, despite all the flurry of activity. I haven't had an ejac. in a while. With the move, I'm not sure when the next one will be. My wife and I are currently living in other people's houses - and it wouldn't seem right to get together in someone else's bed, if you know what I mean.

Back to topic, the activity includes moving boxes into the moving truck, cleaning the house, etc. in prep for our move. It seems this has been the right balance of activity for my groin. I've had very brief, flashes of nerve sensations, but nothing that I'd describe as "knifing" or "electric" pain.

However, in driving the truck across town, I did have some nerve pain that was inbetween the sensation category and the knifing category. I think it's because I had to move my foot between the accelerator and brake so much (city driving). I'm hoping the highway driving will be less taxing on my groin, and hence, my scrotum. We'll need to complete the trip in 4 days. I figure that's about 10 hours a day worth of driving.

So anyway, I start driving on Tuesday (T minus 3 days and counting). My goal is to take the driving in 2 hour shifts. I figure that should keep us both fresh and help to minimize the stress on my scrotum.

I probably won't be blogging until next week when I get back in town. Then I make the drive again, in the mini-van, with my family this time. Luckily, we'll be able to take our time on that road trip. We're going to treat it like a cross country vacation. Lord willing, I'll continue to feel good and we will have a safe, drama free trip.

Before I forget, someone in the PVPS support group just had a reversal "re-do". That's right, he had a vasectomy, a reversal and now a redo of his reversal. Listen, I couldn't make this kind of stuff up. Vasectomy pain syndrome is very real and much more common than you'd think. He says he's feeling okay and is hopeful, like many of us, that he'll be able to put a large part of the PVPS in his rear view mirror.

Back From Traveling

I'm back from my trip to the pacific NW. The flight wasn't terrible and I didn't experience much pain. That doesn't mean I didn't have my usual sensations and weird feelings down there. My left side felt like it was being squeezed from time to time and I'd get a little bit of nervey pain every once in a while on that left side. But rest and changing my positions seemed to help.

My right side continues to not hurt. I did have one instance yesterday where it hurt for a second or two, but I'm now over 2 weeks of no significant pain on the right side. Answer to prayer for sure. Now if we could just get that left side from feeling like it's in a vice.

This is the last week in our house before we move out and travel to Washington state to start our life over, sort of speak. Neither of us have jobs lined up. We're just moving and trusting God that He'll provide a way for us. This kind of goes against my style, but time to turn the reigns over to the creator of the universe, you know what I mean?

There are a couple of PVPS docs up that way, one in Portland and another in British Columbia. There used to be one in Seattle, but it sounds like he's semi-retired and not taking new patients. We'll see how it all works out.

I've hired moving truck loaders and unloaders so I won't have to do any moving work, except for driving the truck across country. But, someone from my old church is going to drive with me! Another answer to prayer for sure. I can't imagine making that drive all by myself - all 2400 miles, with car in tow.

Until next time.

Recovering Slowly

Since my horrible pain of a couple days ago, I seem to be recovering. I still have pain on my right side and driving has been a challenge. Using my right leg to break and accelerate irritates my right groin and makes the nerve pain worse.

I'm still wearing an athletic supporter in hopes of helping the recovery. To say I'm disappointed these days would be an understatement. But I'm hopeful the worst is behind me. I don't like the idea of having that same pain again.

To sum up this short post: I'm still having inguinal nerve pain on my right side. It gets worse when I drive and when I take off the athletic supporter. My scrotum looks "normal", no swelling that I can see. The pain level has been 1 or 2. The uncomfortable level would be 3 or 4.

I'm going to try to remember to put both these scales on every post from now on.

Vasectomy Pain and Driving

I'm back from my trip to TN. That's basically 13 hours in the car. Thank goodness for my wife. She was a real trooper. She drove about 6 hours each driving day, which allowed me to pick up the remaining 2-3 hours of driving. I had to take ibuprofen/tylenol each day because the pain was pretty intense, albeit, brief.

The fact that I was able to utilize the cruise control really helped a lot. I just had to make sure I had plenty of space between my thighs to keep my scrotum from getting pinched or squished. However, sitting for that long, regardless of how I do it, does take its toll on my body. It seems like sitting on my nerves for that long makes them not very happy.

Now that I'm home and had a night's sleep, my left spermatocele is really causing some pain. Nothing I need medicine for, but when it hurts, I feel like I'm getting racked. My right side hasn't had any nerve pain to speak of in the last few days, which kind of surprises me.  Also, my wife and I haven't been together for a while which I was told is a bad thing. The uro docs like to make things stay patent (open). Some of the guys tell me I should take things into my own hands (sort of speak), but the last time my wife and I were together, the next day, my left side felt painful. I wonder if that spermatocele gets bigger with each ejaculation?

I keep taking hot baths in an effort to kill off some of that sperm. I'm not sure if that's working though. It's weird, but my left side has never bothered me, until last fall. Now post reversal, the left side seems to be the side that hurts most often. I think it's related to the spermatocele. It seems to push on things that shouldn't get pushed on, like it's just in the way.

I'm not sure how to get rid of those, because I've read they either go away on their own, or you can have them surgically removed. However, that doesn't mean they won't come right back. Meanwhile, the surgery could cause more nerve damage, which is not what I want.

So today, after a long trip being stuck in the car, my left side hurts, but not my right. I'm not having any nerve pain to speak of, so that is an improvement. I'm going to try stretching again and gentle walking around the neighborhood. I really need to get my heart exercised.

Day Before Our Long Car Drive

The day has finally arrived. We're headed to Tennessee to see if that's where we want to move. It seems nice there and we're hopeful that we'll like it, because we want the kids to be much more "outdoorsy". All you can do where I live is go to the mall or play on a city park swing set.

I'm not looking forward to the trip because I'll be sitting a lot and driving some. Those don't work well for people with post vasectomy pain syndrome. Something about being all bunched up for so long. So I'll probably take some tylenol or ibuprofen before we start on the trip.

I spoke to the insurance person yesterday again! Ugh, how frustrating. The lady told me that it was their human error for sending out the predetermination letter stating the reversal would be an eligible claim per our health plan. Can you believe that, AND then she told me that the approved predetermination letter (to make sure the surgery was covered by the medical necessity clause) and verbal commitments by their authorized representatives, were non-binding. She states that it says very clearly in the health plan that reversal of sterilization is not covered. However, I told her the plan also states very clearly that if a procedure is deemed medically necessary (which is why we were told to do the predetermination), then it is clearly covered. Add to that the predetermination letter and the verbal commitments by their agents stating that the medical necessity clause of the plan had been met and as long as I followed the other rules, like making sure we used the right doctor, facility, and coding, the surgery would be covered.

So when she told me that it was their human error and that they should never had approved the predetermination, I knew it was no longer my problem. However, she then told me that because we had already gone through the first appeal, it was too late for the insurance company to do anything about it.

Sounds kind of weird huh? I thought so too. I wanted to get this recorded somewhere, so what better place than my online journal. I think something good may have come out of the call though. She will try to set up a phone call between their appeals medical director and my surgeon. I'm not sure if anything can come of that, but at least it's a start.

As far as how I feel today goes, I guess I'm doing okay. No major aches or pains.My left side is still a little achey, like it could hurt really bad at any time. I've had a little nerve pain on my right side, but nothing too terrible. Of course, I was also pretty sedintary yesterday. I think I'll try going for a walk on the treadmilll today before our trip. Nothing crazy, just kind of like a liesurely stroll.

I guess that's all for today, Lord willing. I'll return to the blog after our trip.