Well I made it back to Texas and all of it's 104 degrees! Yikes, the pacific NW was so much cooler. Well, my nerve pain seems to be subsiding a little bit. Now I'm "JUST" having the prickly pain on the back of my scrotum on both the left and right side. I'm scheduled to meet with my friend from church in a little bit to discuss my mental outlook and the chronic pain. He's been such a blessing to me. I'll really miss him when we move up to the NW.
It's nice to have someone you can talk to in person about things like pain. The support group is great, but can be depressing sometimes when you hear about everyone else's problems. At first, it made me glad I wasn't having all their problems, now it just kind of overwhelms me a bit and gets me focused on my problem more. I think, that is part of my problem, I'm too keyed into my problem. I feel like I need to start viewing it as something I have, like a wart on a finger or a scar, rather than something I have to battle every day. I've discovered that is a little exhausting and makes matters worse - mentally that is.
I think that's what my friend has shown me. It just becomes a part of who you are and you deal with it and move on. Now granted, my pain isn't as bad as many in the support group, so it's probably easier for me to say that than them. I still feel bad for them and wish I could take their (and my) pain away. It's frustrating to see how this PVPS can affect so many people's lives in such a catastrophic manner, knowing there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So I pray for them and hope they'll get better.
Anyway, it feels good to be out of the moving truck and away from the moving boxes for a while. I know I'll have to drive back and unpack boxes. So I know the pain will probably come back in spades next week. But for now, I'm going to "enjoy" the little pain I'm having.
Lord, please help those men who are suffering from PVPS. Give them healing, relief from pain, and rest from the constant anxiety and frustration. None of us knew about this pain before our vasectomy, but now face the cold reality of living with it. Give us what we need to get through and may you be glorified by the process. May people come to know you because of what we're all going through. Continue to be with me as I learn to adjust and live with the challenges placed in my path. Help me to honor you and trust that you are a good father and want to give us good gifts. I pray that I'll become more aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for this ministry and thank you for your son, Jesus. It's in His name I pray...Amen.
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