Every once in a while, I think of the pain I have. Well, actually I think about it all the time, but what I mean to say is, I try to think about the pain like any other pain. For instance, what if I had chronic nerve pain in my arm or calf. Would I be as annoyed by it? Would it dominate the landscape of my life? Why can't I just think of it like it's an old sport injury from college?
I think the problem is because a sports injury is an acceptable part of the game. There's a chance you might end up with a twisted knee or high ankle sprain or worse. I never knew the world of PVPS even existed. The concept of chronic pain or inflammation was never explained to me when I made the decision to have the snip or the reversal. So it's hard to keep in the same frame of mind. But I try nonetheless.
What kills me about the nerve pain is that I got it after my reversal. So in a way, I feel like I made a bad decision on top of an already bad decision. Like throwing good money after bad. This is turn creates a certain degree of beating oneself up. Not the best place to be mentally considering all the other garbage going on.
Today, I find myself recovering from a Saturday hike in the woods. Like an idiot, I tried to move a small tree that was obstructing the path of our vehicle. My wife and kids helped me, but I gave it a good strain. (Another bad decision). Anyway, I didn't feel any pain then, but I did feel a little pull in my groin yesterday evening when we arrived home.
This morning, I'm back to wearing the athletic supporter. I keep getting breath-taking pains whenever my left testicle moves forward and up within my scrotum. I have taken it easy today - to say the least. I'll probably take an ibuprofen tonight and then reboot tomorrow with a gentle walk around the neighborhood.
I've also had right sided inguinal pains, but nothing to write home about. So it's been two relatively good weeks before I screwed it all up yesterday. That's one of the tough things, when you're not having pain, you think you can do all the stuff you used to be able to do. It's a subtle trap that catches you off guard, when you're not paying attention. Then "whammo" you do something stupid like try to move a log off the road.
But, in trying to keep a little perspective, like I talked about last time, I will read a little more in my Bible and pray a little more to God. I just found out that a lady was praying specifically for me all week long last week. Not surprisingly, I had one of my best weeks in a long, long time. Time to get back on my knees and go to the Lord for some more help.