This syndrome is not unlike any other in that there are cycles. Cycles of pain, cycles of regret, cycles of self-pity, etc. I'm in a bad cycle right now. The pain has been very annoying and I'm not getting a lot of rest from it. I wake up feeling good. Then, within 10 minutes, I start having any number of 30 or 40 different pains and sensations and various locations in and around my scrotal/pelvic area.
Because of this, my emotional state has been pretty unstable. It finally came to a head yesterday as I sat here and cried to my wife because I felt the syndrome was just overwhelming me. There never seems to be a long, rest from the pain/sensations/etc. I have now had my 6 month anniversary since my reversal and I have to say, I might be worse off after my reversal than I was before my reversal.
I still hope that will change. I haven't had epididymitis since my reversal, but all these nerve pains are far worse than what I was experiencing before. At least I could be active without feeling the threat of constant pain.
Post vasectomy pain or in my case, post vasectomy reversal pain just plain sucks. Which brings up the whole cycle of regret again. I just can't tell you how horrible of a decision it was to have my vasectomy. Ughhh!!! I hate how my life has turned out.
Lord God, please don't forsake me as I cry out to you. Please give me strength and a season of freedom from this pain and anguish that I'm in. Allow me to be the active dad I long to be with my kids. Please don't turn away from my cries for mercy and relief. Help me please. You're the only one who can. In Jesus name, amen.
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