Monday, April 11, 2011

Feeling Better Today

Okay, it's official - no more strenuous work for me, for at least a couple more months. Yesterday was just awful. I woke up in the night several times with nerve pain; I had pain in my "johnson" (code for, well, you know...); couldn't get comfortable at all yesterday evening/night. It was just a bad day.

People talk about a mental fog when you have this problem. Some relate it to low testosterone levels. I was talking to my wife about this though, and she has noticed that a lot of her chronic pain patients also talk about this mental fog. Her theory is that our minds are so preoccupied with pain, we lose our ability to focus and remember things. After yesterday, I'll have to agree with her. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't think about anything other than the pain. Because of this, yesterday was simply a blur in my mind. All I remember is the generic existance I had. I also remember having a lot of chest palpitations (stress related?), thinking that if I died, then at least I wouldn't have to deal with this chronic pain anymore.

The other bad thing about chronic pain is even when you're feeling good, you know it's only temporary, because the pain will come back.

So I've already told my wife, I can't do any more heavy work around the house. I'll make whatever phone calls need to be made, I'll do simple chores around the house, but any straining is completely out of the question. Thank goodness, she is okay with that. I still feel guilty about this decision, but that's something I have to get past. As someone on the forum said, you only get the chance to recover ONCE. I need to take advantage of that chance. 

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