The new school year is once again upon us. I like times like this as they help to organize my year. Holidays, breaks from school, and birthdays are great signposts and reference points from which to measure the passing of time as it relates to life. For instance, I don't remember the exact day my dad past away, but I know it was about a week before Christmas. I don't remember the exact day we moved to Washington state (the second time), but I know it was during the Texas State Fair or roughly three weeks before Halloween.
So it is that I measure progress or pain with my PVPS. It was just as school let out in June when I was having a surprising, albeit brief, pain episode. Now here we are at the beginning of school and I've just realized that was my last bout of pain. That's almost three solid months with no pain, outside of a twinge here and there. Those twinges were brought on by moving boxes into our new home.
I told my wife that it is during times like this when I feel that I've been cured of my PVPS pain. That the reversal surgery did it's job. But since the pain was brought on by the reversal procedure, I'm not sure I can really say that. So why is my pain so much improved? Good question.
I think the Lord has done a lot to bring me relief. Do I believe he healed me from Heaven? Partly. But mostly I believe the Lord has helped me to live with the pain, to accept it and move beyond it. I could be having pain every day and I may just not be noticing it because I'm no longer hyperfocuced on my groin. Does that make sense?
It's like the more you notice something, the more you'll notice it. From an emotional and spiritual standpoint, I'm in a far better place. I no longer play the victim card. Life is too short and nobody likes being around that kind of person anyway. So yes, I believe I've been healed. And yes I believe I've been brought to a point where post vasectomy side effects are no longer my primary or even secondary concern.
It's kind of funny, but I just realized that I've been employed now since January of this year, right after New Years. In my job, I have to lift patients, squat and bend over, take the stairs frequently, and basically be an active individual. I used to be scared of how my body would react to the sudden workload. I didn't know how long I'd be able to work. Well, here I am (9 months later) and all seems to be going well. I can do my job without fear of the PVPS consequences.
That's it for my update, but for those courageous few who want to read on about how God has helped me, please read on.
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I've said this on the blog before, but I feel extremely blessed by God. He has done so much in my life these last couple of years, I can't even begin to tell you. But take it from me, God is good. He answers prayers and listens with a father's heart. Give your fears and anxiety and pain to him and he'll make it better. Maybe not in the way you hope, but in a way that will glorify himself and blow you away.
One of the biggest things I've learned this last year is that God doesn't need me, but I sure need him...for absolutely everything in my life. Whether it be my job, health, relationships, finances, outlook, attitude, etc, I need him. Oh, I can get by on my own, but I'll just screw it up as always.
Funny, but God has always worked in my life and he is always working in yours, although you may not be able to see it. I certainly couldn't always see it and I'm a 'Christian'. But looking back in the reflection of my life, I see where my Lord Jesus was there for me. And it wasn't until I faithfully and honestly started praying for help (trusting Him), that I began to see his hand upon my life in real time.
I know this won't make sense to you if you don't believe that God sent Jesus. Perhaps if you are willing, you could read the Book of John in the bible (The 4th book in the New Testament). The first 5-6 chapters kind of talk about what I'm trying to say here.
Well, I guess that's about it. I just felt like I needed to say something in these last couple of paragraphs. Who knows, maybe God is trying to get your attention which is why you're here reading this now. Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope this helps.