What can I say, you either crawl in a hole and give up or move forward with the realization you'll never be 100% again. That's kind of where I've been the last month. After having no many great months or rather blocks of weeks with little pain, the last month has been a challenge. This hernia pain which I posted about last time continues to rear its ugly head. It seems to worsen with physical activity, either long hours at work or when I try to actually run/playing basketball. It seems that running and jumping are bad for my with regards to my pain.
It seems like walking or hiking is all my nether area can tolerate. This makes me think that something is anatomically wrong down there on my left side. My right side has been relatively pain free, with the exception of an occasional twinge here and there. I'd like to get a sonogram of my left side to see if everything looks as it is supposed to, but I know that would be an out of pocket expense that likely wouldn't pay off, since most ultrasounds of the testes don't show very much. Maybe a CT scan would be better, but then the expense might be cost prohibitive since they cost roughly $1200.
So here I am, stuck between a rock and a you know what. Just living with this pain with no real future. It kind of stinks because the pain is significant enough to keep me from the activities I love to do most. Not to mention I need these aerobic outlets for my heart so it can stay in shape. Walking on a treadmill just doesn't give me the aerobic workout I'm looking for, when compared to playing basketball or going for a light jog.
So am I better since my vasectomy reversal? Prior to reversal my scrotum was constantly swollen and in pain. Since the reversal, the swelling is gone, but it is replaced with this terrible, intermittent nerve pain which makes my left testicle feel like it's about to explode from within.
It's kind of a toss up. One thing is for sure though, I'll never be back to 100% and that kind of sucks. I'd put myself at about 70% of what I used to be before I had my vasectomy, about 7 years ago. Some guys feel worse, other people suffer from other terrible diseases and situations. I guess I should count myself fortunate and blessed. Honestly though, it's hard to view it that way. But I know it's the approach I should take.
The good Lord has seen me this far, I know he'll see me the rest of the way. So be thankful for good days. This is the motto we should all be sticking to, even when we don't feel like it.
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